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Don't belong

(169 Posts)
Shittyshopping Fri 13-Oct-17 21:17:42

Do you ever feel like you don't belong anywhere like you don't fit in? Like if you went to say a toddler group,
You don't fit in. Or do a course you like, you don't fit in, and you don't fit in at work or down the pub. Or where ever. I can't even explain why but I feel like I don't fit in anywhere at all. Anyone else feel like that?

Crumbs1 Fri 13-Oct-17 21:20:47

You definitely do belong but maybe haven't found the right place to prove this yet.

GhostCurry Fri 13-Oct-17 21:23:01

Sure do! Always feel like an outsider. Can't make friends really. I will meet a group of people for the first time, and say I see them a week later. I see members of that group who were strangers a week ago, acting like best friends. I'm flummoxed by it. How do they do it?

Shittyshopping Fri 13-Oct-17 21:31:06

Yes I find that to. Even if I do try. People often just talk over me.

redexpat Fri 13-Oct-17 21:36:25

Yes. Rarely in the UK, more often in Denmark.

GhostCurry Fri 13-Oct-17 21:50:19

I genuinely don't get how people seem to leapfrog over the normal stages of friendship, straight to intimacy.

CuckooClockChimes Fri 13-Oct-17 21:51:38

I don't think you've found the right group of people for you OP

Shittyshopping Fri 13-Oct-17 21:55:20

I don't think that's the case. I have been like it since I was a child.

Fenced1010 Fri 13-Oct-17 21:57:07

In the word(s) of Alan Partridge...


Shittyshopping Fri 13-Oct-17 21:57:58


Lindy2 Fri 13-Oct-17 22:02:21

You just haven't found your right place yet. I've had jobs where I didn't feel I had anything in common with people there and definitely didn't really fit. I've also had jobs where I've felt welcome and comfortable from day one. The same goes with social activities, clubs etc.
Keep trying new things and places. Everyone is different but everyone fits in somewhere.

Fenced1010 Fri 13-Oct-17 22:07:22

What are things you like?

Shittyshopping Fri 13-Oct-17 22:12:16

No it's not that for me I have never found a place I feel ok in.

BrutusMcDogface Fri 13-Oct-17 22:15:27

I'm like this! There was one year of my degree (year abroad) during which I fitted in and felt 100% myself. I do with my partner but I'm the same as you re: groups/places/work where everyone else just finds it easy to become best buddies instantly, and I'm on the edge.

Fenced1010 Fri 13-Oct-17 22:16:01

There are ppl on mumsnet RIGHT now talking about how much loo roll they use in a week... there’s a conversation anyone can get involved in!!


Fenced1010 Fri 13-Oct-17 22:16:43

I like to hope most ppl are just faking it...

Shittyshopping Fri 13-Oct-17 22:20:04

fenced on mn i can talk what ever crap because it's just on a keyboard. But in real life I can't.

YoungGirlGrowingOld Fri 13-Oct-17 22:22:56

I feel the same as you OP. I even struggled at university for this reason. I do think that it's something of a self-fulfilling prophecy as well though.


Fenced1010 Fri 13-Oct-17 22:30:32

It’s not you. It’s PEOPLE.

Rollforneed Fri 13-Oct-17 22:33:07

I feel the same as you, too, OP. Since I moved 8 years ago I have not made any friends where I am, just acquaintances. I have taken classes and volunteered. I find now I am hyper conscious of trying toy follow all the social rules and still get no where. It's like everyone else already has who they need. I see so many posts on mumsnet about this this type of loneliness!

howrudeforme Fri 13-Oct-17 22:35:24

Feel the same. Oh I can can seem to fit in but privately feel like a spectator in pretty much everything do. Perhaps I'm a high functioning outsider.

Shittyshopping Fri 13-Oct-17 22:39:54

I don't even have acquaintances. Apart from home. I can go weeks without talking to anyone

Allthecake Fri 13-Oct-17 22:42:44

I’m the same, been part of a group for about 20 years and still feel like an outsider! I can make friends easier one-to-one but this takes time and doesn’t happen very often because usually I only meet people as part of a group initially, so I struggle to move to actual friendship stage if you can see what I mean?! My few friends are very dear to me though.

Allthecake Fri 13-Oct-17 22:44:37

howrude that’s really interesting, I wonder how many of the people I see as great pals are really faking it.

Rollforneed Fri 13-Oct-17 22:55:06

all the cake I don't really get your post. You have been part of a group for 20 years? That doesn't make you an outsider
I don't think confused

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