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Are there any women who have not been sexually assaulted ?

(374 Posts)
crabappley Thu 12-Oct-17 16:07:14

I sometimes wonder about this as I have been assaulted so many times that I can’t see how anyone hasn’t been.
All happened over fifteen years ago so from age 8-25.
Makes me feel very worried for my DDs sad

IchFliegeNach Thu 12-Oct-17 16:12:02

I was about to type 'I haven't' but then shocked myself by thinking being grabbed in public, groped by a powerful man in my teens and 20s etc wasn't sexual assault. Depressing.

tectonicplates Thu 12-Oct-17 16:12:41

Depends on what counts an assault. I've had my bum grabbed on several occasions.

Blankiefan Thu 12-Oct-17 16:13:50

It feels a bit "boasty" to say "not me" and in this context that seems wrong. However I think it's important that you get a proper view so that you dont worry too much about your dd.

In my youth I didn't always make good choices but despite this I have never been sexually assaulted.

Fairylea Thu 12-Oct-17 16:14:04

I am sorry for your experiences op flowers

I am one of the lucky ones that has never been assaulted. I can’t imagine that I am the only one.

MagdalenLaundry Thu 12-Oct-17 16:15:52

I don't know anyone who hasn't been groped or subject to unwanted sexual advances. And some full on sexual abuse
One friend by her best friends grandad.

ladypie21 Thu 12-Oct-17 16:16:36

I jumped in here to reply that I haven't....but then remembered the creepy dad I babysat for over 20yrs ago who used to hold my knee and rub my thigh dropping me home. Not an assault as such but unwelcome physical touching all the same.

Lemongrass57 Thu 12-Oct-17 16:16:51

I have never been sexually assaulted. And I’ve very rarely been catcalled at. But I use a wheelchair and I think a lot of men don’t see me as a woman as a result.

That1950sMum Thu 12-Oct-17 16:17:11

I have never been sexually assaulted.

I'm sorry you have OP. Hopefully this thread will give you more hope for your DD.

ChocolatePHD Thu 12-Oct-17 16:17:36

My stepdad made inappropriate comments to me but never touched me thankfully.

And my ex boyfriend started having sex with me while I was asleep once. But I don't know what you'd class that as.

So I guess no, I haven't been.

ReinettePompadour Thu 12-Oct-17 16:18:49

Only in a nightclub/pub when I was more attractive younger. To be fair I sexually assaulted them back too in response. Other than that no I havent not in my everyday life.

HuckfromScandal Thu 12-Oct-17 16:20:52

Sexually assaulted by the boy next to me in primary school
Abused by family member
Raped in relationship

Several other things that I can’t think of right now.

I am pretty amazed at how ok I am now

crabappley Thu 12-Oct-17 16:23:20

I often think it’s inevitable for them so it’s good to hear that there are people who haven’t been.
Apart from the incidents as a child or early teen I suppose I went out a lot, I travelled on my own in other countries etc so perhaps I put myself in more risky situations. I am pretty okay too Huck smile
I will not be wrapping them up in cotton wool as I wouldn’t take my life experiences away, it’s just shit that those things happened and now I have DDs I think about how they might be treated and it really bothers me.

FatBastardHead Thu 12-Oct-17 16:23:25

I don't know anyone who hasn't been groped or subject to unwanted sexual advances

This with bells on

I first got catcalled when I was 9

amusedbush Thu 12-Oct-17 16:24:12

No sexual assault but I was sent very sexual texts by a grown man when I was 15 (I worked with him and never found out how he got my number).

I was sitting on a very full bus when I was about 18 or 19 and a man was standing in the aisle next to me. I felt something rubbing my arm. I looked up to see him with his hand in his jacket pocket, staring at me as he very deliberately rubbed his hand up and down my arm. I made eye contact and he immediately stopped and looked away. Fucking bizarre.

20lbsToLose Thu 12-Oct-17 16:27:01

What counts?

I've been catcalled as a teenager.

Sorry for what you've experienced OP.

MrsLettuce Thu 12-Oct-17 16:27:33

TBH I think most women who think they haven't been sexually assaulted aren't aware that breast / arse grabbing is legally included in the definition. A lot of people are under the impression that only serious sexual assault and rape countangrysad

PinkHeart5914 Thu 12-Oct-17 16:28:02

I haven’t, I think I’ve just been lucky and not have the misfortune to meet a man that would behave that way. I can honestly say I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve felt unsafe with a man.

Even When I think back to my time as a club rep in Ibiza, even then I never had anyone sexually assault me. Yes I got offers for sex but nobody touching me inappropriately or anything.

Infact I’ve always found men to be helpful when I’ve found myself in some stupid situations. Pre dc I was very stupid and very drunk then on to a train in London and I was a bit lost & crying tbh and it was a man that asked if I was ok/where did I need to go and he actually called my dh for me & then took me to the tube station I needed he could not of been nicer and I’ve never forget how kind he was as I’ve always thought that situation could of been very different if someone else had.

💐 for all that have suffered any kind of sexual assault

tarheelbaby Thu 12-Oct-17 16:29:24

I've been wondering about this too because I am one of the lucky ones but I can't believe I'm the only one.

I was flashed once in my late 20s but otherwise, despite sometimes making terrible choices, I have not been assaulted and any cat-calling has been complimentary.

SevenSheep Thu 12-Oct-17 16:29:40

Well I've had random drunken blokes grab at me in nightclubs. Which might technically be sexual assault as I didn't give prior consent, but I certainly wouldn't classify it as such. I actually quite miss the days of being groped by randoms in nightclubs blush

So no, I don't think I've ever been sexually assaulted.

Anymajordude Thu 12-Oct-17 16:30:07

I've been sexually assaulted a few times, mostly on public transport and some of it when travelling abroad. I've had horrible verbal abuse on the streets as well as unwanted cat calls a gazillion times.

Mirrormirrorotw Thu 12-Oct-17 16:32:01

I think you'd be hard pressed to find one that hasn't. Been grabbed, groped, kissed and raped.

pallisers Thu 12-Oct-17 16:34:41

I have. As a child (age less than 6). I don't think every woman has been assaulted but I think the majority have. If you include groping/flashing/threatening behaviour you got away from (and why wouldn't you) I'd say it is very very rare for a girl/woman not to have been subjected to this. It is grim.

MagdalenLaundry Thu 12-Oct-17 16:36:50

I babysat for parents friend when I was 14. The father came in before the rest on new years eve, grabbed me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. I dare not tell my dad who would have killed him
I had 2 friends whose dad's would do the same to their daughters friends on NYE. Everyone tried to avoid them
The bloke I was a bridesmaid for at 6 tried it on with me at 16
I've had my breasts groped in pubs on several occasions and once on a city street. I did hit the guy on the street but was shaken up. Day time!
And bum groping in pubs. Grim

StormTreader Thu 12-Oct-17 16:37:27

Ive had my bum grabbed once when I was 18 but apart from that, nothing and Im now 37. I have always been very overweight though and am plain-looking to boot so I suspect that is not unrelated.

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