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Two morning routines. Which one is closer to yours?

(93 Posts)
Likeawolf Tue 26-Sep-17 14:49:06

Here is one woman's morning routine:

And here is the woman who read that and provided her own version:

I have a lot more in common with the second woman than the first. And when I say "a lot more", I mean "I have no idea what the first woman is talking about".

(I also love the idea of a fleece colour called "FFS".)

cjt110 Tue 26-Sep-17 14:53:55

Version number 2. 3 years in and I still forget shit because I'm so busy trying to get us out in some semblance of non-nakedness.

This last week I have forgotten, the pram and his coat on 2 different occassions. Went back for the pram. CBA getting the coat.

Freshprincess Tue 26-Sep-17 14:55:53

No surprises that a beauty editor spends loads of time putting stuff on her face and documenting it, it's her job.
Both of them are exaggerating a bit though aren't they?

EllieMArroway Tue 26-Sep-17 14:57:03

8:15: Breakfast is porridge pimped up with fresh fruit and seeds with builder’s tea (and lots of it) which I eat quickly before walking the kids to school. I get back with just enough time to tong my hair. Bag packed, I’m out the door and off for another busy day as a beauty editor.

I hate her.

EllieMArroway Tue 26-Sep-17 14:58:36

7:30: Time to wake up the kids. My husband leaves for work early so it's usually just me and the children in the morning and I feel really grateful that my job allows me this precious time with them before school. We start the day doing last-minute homework bits, feeding the guinea pigs and having lots of cuddles before I make them breakfast while wearing my stick-on de-puffing eye patches – it all helps!


JoandMax Tue 26-Sep-17 14:59:46

Definitely closer to 2!!!

In number 1 though how does she manage to 'finish homework, loads of cuddles, sort guinea pigs and make breakfast' in 10 minutes?!!!! I'm dubious of her account.........

TheBitterBoy Tue 26-Sep-17 14:59:57

Ha! No-one really has routine no 1 do they? Not even the woman in the article I reckon.
If her husband leaves for work early how can she go for a run? Is she leaving the children home alone? (clutches pearls)

Likeawolf Tue 26-Sep-17 15:00:19

cjt110 They always junk the coat immediately anyway so excellent call!

Fresh Yes, I know you're right but the second routine made me laugh and the first routine didn't (also, "pimped up porridge" sounded a bit offputting!)

Ellie grin

oldlaundbooth Tue 26-Sep-17 15:03:35

I stopped at 'crept downstairs for an hours writing at 6am'.

I'm obviously the second one.

oldlaundbooth Tue 26-Sep-17 15:04:49

Just a sec.

Scenario number 2 has to wake her children up

I'm neither

FuckingBUTTERbeans Tue 26-Sep-17 15:05:18

With the jogging, I thought maybe she got back as he left, but I'm still doubtful about the whole thing. If she wakes them at 7.30 and then gets in the shower at 7.40, how does she get them out of bed, do homework, cuddles, pet feeding and possibly helping get their food in ten minutes?!!

When does No1 take a dump?

And who manages to prep and clear breakfast in about 12 mins? I sometimes get up early to work but it takes me 2 goes of the alarm going off plus I need a cup of tea first.... at 6am I'd be starting work around 6.30 so bugger the morning run!

Likeawolf Tue 26-Sep-17 15:06:33

Bitter You're right! Proof positive that it IS fantasy! (Also, who in the world "slips on" running gear -- it's flipping tight-fitting lycra -- you wiggle and strain into it.

Jo Yeah, I wondered about the timeline too. Just FINDING the homework takes my DS ten minutes.

MaisieDotes Tue 26-Sep-17 15:08:44

No. 2 is funny. I like the part about the door. I face this struggle daily.

Hatethinkingofusernames82 Tue 26-Sep-17 15:08:54

Oh god this made me laugh!! I wish I could be slightly like routine 1 but unfortunately I am destined to be routine 2 forever!!

TizzyDongue Tue 26-Sep-17 15:11:00

A as a different routine when ceratin cosmetic companies aren't paying/gifting her to pretend it's her choice.

B trying very much to sound hard done by and humorously resentful of having children depend on her.

I'd guess most people are somewhere in the middle (or slightly off centre favouring B).

viques Tue 26-Sep-17 15:11:30

I love the fact that the beauty editor woman only actually spends ten minutes with her children (during which they cuddle , feed the guinea pigs and do left over homework) the rest of the time is spent on her. Writing, running, showering,her very extensive beauty routine, choosing the days cashmere ...I strongly suspect there is an aupair in the background sorting out rousing from beds, breakfast serving, school clothes, school bags, lost reading books, recorders, violins and homework books, packed lunches, pe kits, money for charity collections, hair brushing, teeth brushing, shoe finding, arguments etc etc etc until mummy has had a final spritz of her current perfume and is ready to float above the pavement on her good mummy wings and do the school run.

cakesonatrain Tue 26-Sep-17 15:11:49

Woman number one is lying. Woman number number two sounds more like me, but there's no "creeping down" before my kids wake up - by 0630 I've been nagged for at least 15 mins by youngest child to surrender my phone to her (kids' YouTube) and bugger off out of my own bed to have a shower.
And we leave the house at 8am.

Finola1step Tue 26-Sep-17 15:12:35

So between 7:30-8:30, woman 1 spends loads of time in her shower, face and make up. While the dh has already left for work. So who is sorting out the kids and guinea pigs? I suspect that there may well be a nanny/ au pair lurking in the background.

Copper1122 Tue 26-Sep-17 15:14:37

Love the bit about the door opening inwards! SO true. My kids are all teens and still when we get home they walk ahead to the front door and act surprised when I have to push them out the way to reach and unlock the bloody thing.

Singap0reSling Tue 26-Sep-17 15:15:24

Ooh yuck, No 1 goes for a jog but doesn't wash her hair afterwards (she washes it with the night before to save time). Maybe along with her super efficient and well run life, she's also found the secret to exercising and not sweating. I don't envy her colleagues.

SnugglySnerd Tue 26-Sep-17 15:17:16

Neither mentions pretending to be asleep at 5 am in the hope that dh will cave first and get up with the baby

SecretEscapesWannabe Tue 26-Sep-17 15:20:56

I'm neither too. We all leave the house at 7.30 to do such mundane things as get DH to the station, DS to school and me to the office. DS eats breakfast in the car, DH on the train and me around about 11 am.

Frequency Tue 26-Sep-17 15:21:19

Mine is somewhere between the two. It normally goes

Wake between 7 and 8.
Yell at youngest child.
Drink coffee (or pepsi if no time for coffee)
Yell at youngest child.
Brush teeth, wash face and smelly bits (or brush teeth, face wipe
face, baby wipe smelly bits if no time)
Yell at youngest child
Apply make up (or smear foundation over face if no time. Attempt to make this look ok by adding lots of mascara and some lipgloss)
Select co-coordinating outfit (or drag clothes from the ironing basket if no time)
Yell at youngest child
Straighten hair (or plait hair if no time)
Yell at youngest child until she starts moving at a normal pace for a human being.
Leave the house - late, always late.

OvO Tue 26-Sep-17 15:23:16

First one makes her children do homework in the mornings. What a witch. My inner child is judging her. No-one's day should start with homework ffs.

My morning is like neither. My two will drive me insane at any other time of the day or night but mornings they are delightful cherubs. They know not to mess with me at that time so always get themselves ready with no fuss. My 12 year old is out the door before the 9 year old is up now so my mornings are very peaceful. They make up for it after school. <sob>

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