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Was this a bit rude?

(52 Posts)
QuestionableMouse Mon 25-Sep-17 22:00:17

New flatmate came for a visit tonight. She unlocked the door and walked in. I was sitting in the lounge in my PJs ,with wet hair, having my tea. She actually frightened me a little bit because I wasn't expecting it. If the situations had been reversed, I'd have knocked before I unlocked the door, then called out so the other person didn't think they were being invaded. As it was, I slopped tea on my leg when she just suddenly appeared.

What's the correct etiquette? Its a two bed flat in uni housing. (I wasn't aware that any one else would be moving in or visiting today.)

BelindaBlinked Mon 25-Sep-17 22:01:56

Did she know you were already there?
Tbh I don't think I would knock on the door to my new flat.

AuntLydia Mon 25-Sep-17 22:03:56

If she has been given a key she may well be thinking of it as her home already and therefore wouldn't have thought to knock first. She may well have already told the landlord/agency she would be coming too so would have assumed you were expecting her. Seen as you are going to be sharing a flat with this person I would be inclined to think the best of her and give her the benefit of the doubt or you're going to end up getting off on the wrong foot.

GiveMeTheTeaAndNobodyGetsHurt Mon 25-Sep-17 22:04:04

When you say she came round for a visit, does that mean she hasn't actually moved in yet? If so I agree with you that she should have knocked.

littlecabbages Mon 25-Sep-17 22:15:29

I wouldn’t say rude, maybe a little inconsiderate but it’s possible she didn’t know anyone else was already living there?

I couldn’t get worked up about it tbh

QuestionableMouse Mon 25-Sep-17 22:21:41

She came to look around the place. Still not sure if or when she's actually moving in.

reallybadidea Mon 25-Sep-17 22:23:44

Jeez, it's her flat too! I can understand why you were surprised but I don't think she was rude in the slightest.

AuntLydia Mon 25-Sep-17 22:24:59

Then I'd be cheesed off with the agency, they just gave a complete stranger a key to your home and let her get on with it herself?! Surely they should have either met her there to show her round themselves or have informed you so you could do it?

ChicRock Mon 25-Sep-17 22:26:27

It's her flat too, she has a key, why on earth would she knock?

BrutusMcDogface Mon 25-Sep-17 22:26:52

What did she say when she walked in? If it was, "oh, I'm sorry! Didn't mean to startle you but didn't know you'd be here!" Then no, she wasn't rude.

Dawnedlightly Mon 25-Sep-17 22:29:00

Is she paying rent?

Migraleve Mon 25-Sep-17 22:29:40

Why does she have a key if you are not sure she is moving in? Surely by the time you get to the point of key ownership it's a given that you will be moving in confused

QuestionableMouse Mon 25-Sep-17 22:33:36

Its university housing.

I'm not trying to fall out with her, just wondering what's normal. She came, looked around, then left. She didn't really speak.

It was all a bit awkward to be honest.

EduCated Mon 25-Sep-17 22:38:37

I think YAB a bit U. It's her place as much as yours. I can see why you were startled if you weren't expecting her, but I wouldn't knock before going into my own flat.

QuestionableMouse Mon 25-Sep-17 22:44:44

But she hasn't actually moved in yet.

I would have knocked or done something to announce myself rather than just walking in the first time I entered. After that its fair game but I'd have been a bit cautious the first time just in case I wasn't expected (which she wasn't. I had no idea or warning that she was coming.)

RainbowPastel Mon 25-Sep-17 22:47:13

She has as much right as you to be there. You don't knock if you have a key. You don't sound very welcoming.

EduCated Mon 25-Sep-17 22:48:43

Sorry, still not seeing it. Is it the very first time she's been round? Did she know you were there?

QuestionableMouse Mon 25-Sep-17 22:59:05

As far as I know it was the first time shed been in,and yes, I think she knew I was in the flat.

TheweewitchRoz Mon 25-Sep-17 23:00:54

If she has a key, why would she knock?

BenLui Mon 25-Sep-17 23:02:32

It’s her flat just as much as yours. It would be weird to knock on the door when she has a key and has the same status as you eg neither of you own the property.

I appreciate you got a freight but you are being a bit precious.

Given that you have moved in already, it can’t be that surprising to you that the other resident of the flat would be arriving soon.

BenLui Mon 25-Sep-17 23:02:53

A freight?? grin fright!

ItsASunnyDay Mon 25-Sep-17 23:06:37

So she isn’t moving in, and the agency gave her a key so she could look round? She might not have realised you were in. I think it’s rude of the agency to not give you the heads up (and be handing out keys willy nilly) so id probably be sending them an email. I don’t know how uni housing works though.

QuestionableMouse Mon 25-Sep-17 23:29:47

I think that's my main problem with this. U had no idea she was coming.

TheRabbitOfNegativeEuphoria Tue 26-Sep-17 06:24:28

I work in uni accommodation. All the accommodation contracts start on the same date and students are able to collect their keys at any point from this date onwards. Often students do not tell us exactly when they will be moving in and just turn up to collect the key. This means we can't give other housemates advance warning of when to expect their roommate.

She does sound a little rude not to have spoken to you but perhaps she was shy or nervous and this came across as her ignoring you.

ponderingprobably Tue 26-Sep-17 07:25:51

She's probably feeling a bit awkward herself. Sometimes people don't think. She maybe just didn't expect to find someone in the lounge in their PJs and had not thought about knocking or shouting 'Hello'. She was maybe a bit nervous to shout.

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