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Someone's stolen the fucking scones!

(155 Posts)
cjt110 Mon 25-Sep-17 15:43:38

Colleague brought in 4 scones for he and I to enjoy after lunch. Colleague has his lunch and then asks have I had 2 scones. I hadn't. Nor had he. The tub was sat there with just 2 scones left.

Now. I know it's just 2 scones but I'm quite cross that someone has seen these and fucking had 2 of them off, not asking if they were to be shared or what.

I have sent an email out at work "Has anyone had some of the scones from the tub on the microwave"

No-one has said it was them.

Grrrrr angry It's the talk of work now.... with many a joke of how they have s'cone away and desserted us....

But I'm just annoyed that someone has just fucking eaten these scones without a jot of decency....

PotteringAlong Mon 25-Sep-17 15:44:38

Bastards angry

LindyHemming Mon 25-Sep-17 15:47:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Mon 25-Sep-17 15:49:02

Do you know any lactating ladies? Add to the email they were made with breast milk and keep a look out for anyone looking green.
An old friend stored bm in the fridge - her dh made a protein shake with it and after her confession stated he needed to go to the hospital!!

cjt110 Mon 25-Sep-17 15:50:03

I now feel like a twat, getting cross over a scone. But it's the bloody principle of it. It's not yours. There was no email saying "Scones in the kitchen to eat"

At least because it's the talk of work, whoever took them will hopefully feel shamed.

cjt110 Mon 25-Sep-17 15:51:12

I wondered where that post was going Winteriscomingneedmorewood Sadly not. That would be an awesome one to email.... Not sure I'd be brave enough to live it down though.

brokenshoes Mon 25-Sep-17 15:51:38

Do people sometimes take cakes etc in to share and leave them in the communal kitchen? Maybe whoever ate them thought they were a free-for-all. Still pretty shit though.

Insomnibrat Mon 25-Sep-17 15:53:46

I BET they're in someone's top drawer. Smash the nearest fire alarm glass and as people leave, dash round the office pulling everyone's top drawer out.
When people file back into the office you can be stood on the assailant's desk, palm outstretched, scone in hand saying 'Denise, you terrible cunt!'

Kintan Mon 25-Sep-17 15:54:14

Why did he leave them out in a communal area though if he didn't want people to think they were for anyone? Leaving a multipack of something on top of a microwave is a bit different to leaving them in a cupboard/fridge/desk drawer where it would be obvious they weren't up for grabs.

RickOShay Mon 25-Sep-17 15:56:42

grin insomnibrat

Insomnibrat Mon 25-Sep-17 15:56:54

No!

I park in a communal car park, doesn't mean Denise gets dibs on my 1.8 Sport.

Scone robbing, entitled bastards.

SumThucker Mon 25-Sep-17 16:01:33

Fucking Denise, greedy bastard angry

ElmerFudge Mon 25-Sep-17 16:03:32

Ha ha... Fond memories of various kitchen-based office wars. Lots of emails & a new office joke! I'm liking your work Phantom Sconester! (but also feel bad that you're missing out on carb-based treats, OP).

NachoAddict Mon 25-Sep-17 16:04:51

Oh dear how unreasonable. I couldn't let it lie!

MyDobbygotgivenasock Mon 25-Sep-17 16:07:07

I would plot dreadful revenge. Only for the afternoon and then I'd probably forget it but still, dreadful revenge.

Sticky fingered git.

Fekko Mon 25-Sep-17 16:07:17

Sack them all.

TheKidsAreTakingMySanity Mon 25-Sep-17 16:08:20

With how often this seems to happen (according to numerous Mumsnet threads), the odds are that at least one Mumsnetter simply MUST be an office kitchen thief. Surely.

So can I just ask them now to step forward and tell us why they do it. What's their justification? Come on Denise. Tell us why you do it.

cjt110 Mon 25-Sep-17 16:09:43

Kintan It wasn't a multipack. It was in a tupperware container with some little pots of jam. Clearly brought in from home.

ElmerFudge Don't forget the jammy and clotted creamy goodness. Of which I only had 1. would have been better with 2. So much better.

It's just really irked me. Is that daft?

Bettercallsaul1 Mon 25-Sep-17 16:10:12

I hate Denise! angry

cjt110 Mon 25-Sep-17 16:11:33

Denise. You're an arsehole.

Unfortunately we have no Denise. Or Dennis.

Apparently they were there at 11oclock when one colleague went to make a drink. Gone by approx 12.30 when colleague asked about 2 scones. We are narrowing our window.....

Fekko Mon 25-Sep-17 16:11:51

I would just let it be known that the reason they were left in the run was because the cat had wee-ed on them, Phil from accounts with flu has sneezed on them or the kids had fished them out of the bin

See who rushes to the loo first.

DJBaggySmalls Mon 25-Sep-17 16:11:53

If I worked in your office I'd take a picture of my hand in a black glove holding a scone with black tape over its eyes.
If you did not pay the ransom I'd sent you a sultana in the post.

cjt110 Mon 25-Sep-17 16:13:48

Whats this world coming to if a person cannot enjoy a scone or two on a dreary shitty Monday without it being snaffled.

Even worse, my desk is diagonal from the kitchen door. So the perp has gobbled it in plain sight almost!

Bluntness100 Mon 25-Sep-17 16:13:50

Reminds me of this,,,grin

Insomnibrat Mon 25-Sep-17 16:13:58

This is how it starts. Today its a scone, tomorrow your stapler, Wednesday, your significant other.

Zero tolerance, I say. Set a crime scene diagram up on the office wall with strings and tacks linking all available evidence against a rogues gallery of potential suspects.

Be clever, casually ask people what they're having for tea. When that greedy bitch Denise says "I don't know i'm not hungry" you've got her bang to rights.

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