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What do other single parents do on weekends?

(29 Posts)
YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 08:54:38

I'm wondering what to do today with toddler DC. On my own. Bit bored of the park. My weekends tend to be full of chores and food shopping and prep for the week ahead. I work FT and need some fun in my and DCs life.

I have no single parent friends to do stuff together with. What do other single parents do when they have nobody to share time with?

SuzukiLi Sun 24-Sep-17 08:57:01

I've signed my DD up to gymnastics so we spend Saturdays doing that in the morning then usually out for lunch and a walk somewhere. Then Sundays are lazy movie days as I need at least one day to do nothing before I'm back to it on Monday!

DelurkingAJ Sun 24-Sep-17 08:58:41

How about other parent friends generally? We're always happy to have friends round even if it's just one adult and their DCs (my DH works most weekends so it's often just me). Realise some people prefer to just see family but I've found plenty don't!

Squirmy65ghyg Sun 24-Sep-17 09:01:44

Days out
Stuff around the house
See friends sometimes

MrsPussinBoots Sun 24-Sep-17 09:01:54

I do exactly the same as you. DD has ballet sat morning but then it's supermarket, town for other shopping, library, beach, park and trying to avoid watching tv. Sometimes I hate weekends.

ponzi Sun 24-Sep-17 09:03:24

I don't know any parents and I don't want us to foist ourselves onto child free folks. Yesterday we had brunch and I had planned to for a walk after that but it just didn't happen. It would motivate us more to get going if we had someone to meet up with.

TreacleFarl Sun 24-Sep-17 09:11:20

Watching with interest OP as I'm in the same position. I think DS is getting as bored of the local park as I am. Today I'm thinking of getting a bus to a bigger, different park that has ducks etc just for a change of scenery. Money is a bit tight so trying to think of free things! Do you have a museum or gardens near you? If your toddler is old enough they might enjoy that.
They're usually free or entry for a small donation.

I don't really have any friends to do things with either so weekends can be a drag. Hoping to get ideas from your thread.

TeachesOfPeaches Sun 24-Sep-17 09:18:32

What area do you live in OP? Download the Hoop app and you will find lots of activities in your area, many which are free. Last weekend I took my toddler apple picking and juicing in an allotment an then the Southbank on Sunday and today I think we will go to the Japanese culture festival in Trafalgar Square.

When I became a single parent I joined a Facebook group for lone parents in my area and often meet up with mums from there. Could this be an option for you?

Baddit Sun 24-Sep-17 09:24:40

I'm in the same position OP. I keep a list of different activities we can do on a weekend as they can be a total drag if I've not planned anything - which is a shame really as I miss DS when I'm at work all week!

I used to think friends with children were unapproachable on the wkd as it's 'family time' but you'd be surprised how many want to meet up when you ask so be bold about setting up play dates and sometimes think small about the activities - we've started a nature box and look for interesting things to put in it, bake cakes or tell stories.

YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 09:30:38

I live within reach of London, but find a day out there is too much without someone with me. I sometimes go when my older DC are around to help. Toddler is full on hyper type!

I can't bear Facebook and don't partake, but maybe I should. I joined Mush which is a local meet up platform for mums, but found that most of the local mum's on there were in their 20s and all Hun and xxxxx bubba, fake tan and nails, etc. Not my people! Dont mean to sound snobby but the only thing I would have in common (besides being parents) would be that my older DC are the same age as them! I think they would view me as old! I'm in my 40s. God, now I sound ageist!

YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 09:34:50

I did message another older mum on Mush to "friend her" for playdates but she said weekends were "family time" but she is available during school holidays. When I am at work hmm. So I felt a bit deflated. None of the other 5 or 6 mums i messaged have replied to me!

Also checked out Gingerbread in my area. Nothing. And no reply to my request to set up a local group. I'm rurul but near to several towns.

Don't mean to sound negative!

KarmaNoMore Sun 24-Sep-17 09:35:37

Join activities where you can meet other single mums and dads (even the nursery/school gate will do), be friendly, offer help if needed and soon you may find yourself spending days out on the weekend doing interesting stuff and having a cup of coffee with a good friend who gets you while your children play with each other.

It is not all about the children, you also need some enjobale time to be able to relax and be ready to tackle the week.

TeachesOfPeaches Sun 24-Sep-17 09:36:21

The single parent friends I made from the Facebook group are all aged between early 30s and late 40s with young children. Maybe you will find someone there? I think the Meetup app also has some parent gatherings but I've not tried those

YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 09:40:15

Good idea re cinema. Local place has a saturday morning children's film. May do that next week.

And I think DC would love some sort of activity like gymnastics. I will check out what is on locally. Might meet some other parents there too!

Working FT doesn't lend itself to meeting other parents much. DC goes to preschool but I rarely do drop off or pick up. And I am not really a school gate sort of person anyway.

YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 09:44:38

Good suggestion about planning ahead. I don't tend to do this. Then I'm wondering what we can do. Planning is key!

KarmaNoMore Sun 24-Sep-17 09:45:11

Oops, crossposted.

Would it help to make it more casual? I would be a bit hesitant about meeting with another single mum I do not know at all, but sometimes, if your children get along, inviting the kid for a play date and offering a cup of tea on collection can do wonders, especially if you have already talked to them before.

KarmaNoMore Sun 24-Sep-17 09:53:41

Working full time makes it more difficult, but I still have managed to make some good friends out of the activities DS attends. So much time to talk while you are waiting for them to get out of the pool or finish their class.

it is important that you also have a good time. DS and I have an agreement where we split the weekend on three days (Friday after school counts as a day): one day for him to do something he enjoys, one day for something I enjoy and the third one is about doing something we both enjoy. We have a rule not to complain about the activity chosen so I was not allowed to complain if I had to sit in a play area waiting for hours while he was having fun and he was not allowed to complain if I wanted to spend a few hours looking at artwork in a museum. The day with the activity "we both enjoyed" was normally spent with another single parent and kid.

Oh, and just remembered, borrowing another kid for the day out may make things more fun for the children an easier for you (I know it doesn't seem reasonable but it does really work)

YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 11:42:40

That's a lovely idea about the 3 days. My DC is a bit young for this but I'll bear it in mind for the future. I do like a bit of culture and I think it's great for DC to learn too. Museums and art galleries are a no go until they are older though. Oh I recall those easy baby days when I could still go anywhere! Now it's got to be boisterous preschooler friendly!! I miss sitting down in coffee shops for a nice break sad

YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 11:44:45

I did used to invite a friend along to keep my other DC company when they were younger. But current young DC is just at preschool and I don't know any of their friends or their parents.

YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 11:46:20

I thought about posting a meet up type thread in MN local but those boards are as dead as a dead parrot in a graveyard by the dead sea!

TakemedowntoPotatoCity Sun 24-Sep-17 11:48:49

Where are you OP? I want to meet you! I am in my 40's , LP with a 5yo. In Kent. I expect you are in Newcastle or something knowing my luck but worth a shot!

Talkedabout Sun 24-Sep-17 11:49:46

MeetUp has been good & ive picked things for me but told DS he can invite a friend along.

Otherwise on top of museums & art galleries, we've done garden centres. We have one with a maze reasonably close. Or we just go out for lunch/ice cream & bump into other parents. I've befriended a lot of single mums at school lately which has helped me for hosting coffees and doing films together, too.

But do try MeetIp. There are so many cultural activities on there!

KarmaNoMore Sun 24-Sep-17 11:58:11

We started this 3 days idea when DS was 4, so you don't need to wait too much to practice it. Obviously, they need to learn not to run around in museums and you will need to relearn going on high ropes adventures but it is all matter of practice.

KarmaNoMore Sun 24-Sep-17 12:09:15

There are often children activities at museums that your children can join and they are normally free. So that's another way to manage a bit of culture.

When DS was young(er) we used to go to art museums and I used to point to him some characteristics of a painter or style of painting and ask him to go around the room guessing which artworks were done by the same painter. He loved it. Now our visits end up in a deep philosophical discussion about art, politics of philosophy even if they are initiated on the basis of him not liking the work!

Now, as a teen, a museum experience is a two way street, he is happy to put up with my choices if I am happy to put with his later on the day. We don't go out together often anymore as he is busy with his friends, his life and wifi. But we still could manage for me to spend 4 hours in an art museum in exchange of him spending another 4 hours looking at Da Vinci's models in another one. I guess that if you start early chances are you may even be able to take them with you to places you like sooner than you expect. I have literally dragged my child away from The Baltic (he refused to leave) and every time he said "mum, let's go to IKEA" I felt my heart swell grin

YoLoGammelZammoDag Sun 24-Sep-17 12:18:41

karma your son sounds lovely!

I also have a teenager and they are practically a recluse!

I just checked Meetup and in my area there are young single social groups, a book club I used to go to that meets in the evenings (oh to have evenings free and have time to read books again!), a ramblers group and an arts/crafts group. Nothing for parents of toddlers! Because we are in the sticks I expect.

Not in or near Kent I'm afraid potato. Sorry! You sound very nice though.

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