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You know you're a parent when....

(36 Posts)
Queenofthedrivensnow Thu 21-Sep-17 21:37:06

You nearly wear your new coat to work but put it back on the hanger and say to yourself 'best not I haven't put my name in it yet I might lose it.....'

lucysmam Thu 21-Sep-17 21:42:49

grin I name labelled my uniform for work!! Got a few hmm looks from colleagues but I haven't lost mine yet whereas a few of them have.

paddypants13 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:49:51

You say I'm just going for a wee wee when talking to other adults. hmm

Girty999 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:53:49

When you say good boy to your DH or ask if he needs a wee before you go out x

GiveMeTheTeaAndNobodyGetsHurt Thu 21-Sep-17 21:53:56

You say 'ooh, look! Doggy!'. Only to remember that you are not with a child and passers by are looking at you like a loon...

Scrowy Thu 21-Sep-17 21:54:15

You feel like you have forgotten something any rare moment you get that is child free.

You find yourself humming the theme tune to Waybaloo and the Teletubbies rather than the latest Taylor Swift

You check your shoes for banana before putting them on.

Silence is a bad thing rather than a good thing. Means they are doing something they shouldn't be.

tigercub50 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:55:25

A few years ago, I used to start cutting up the food of the person next to me!

Fruitboxjury Thu 21-Sep-17 21:56:28

years of trying to get people up, dressed and out of the house has left you on the verge of a breakdown.

BamburyFuriou3 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:56:46

When going to the toilet on your own is a rare treat.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus Thu 21-Sep-17 21:57:17

On the train you say ooh look it's Bath station funny name Bath - Splosh splish splash. To your bemused colleagues blush.
To be fair that was during the complete furry blur I term "the sleep deprivation years"

Queenofthedrivensnow Thu 21-Sep-17 22:08:16

You take your lunch to work in one of the lunch boxes the kids have discarded and it's little boxes inside with animals on filled with tomatoes and crackers on. I enjoy laying my little picnic out.....

BMacklin Thu 21-Sep-17 22:12:31

You keep finding breast pads stuck to weird places -from your shoe (which you didn't notice until you left the house) to a jumper that's just come out of the wash.

Doje Thu 21-Sep-17 22:13:57

You celebrate 7am as a lie in.

StarHeartDiamond Thu 21-Sep-17 22:21:25

You spend all your once-spare cash in the baby aisle at the supermarket...

You open a cupboard and 507 plastic cups, bottles and bowls fall out

You go nowhere without a packet of baby wipes about your person

You go on holiday and instead of admiring the view from the balcony, you're worrying about the height of the balcony and whether there are child-proof locks on the sliding doors.

cakesonatrain Thu 21-Sep-17 22:28:04

You use a Peppa Pig hair clip because it's all you can find.

Your social life consists mainly of drinking coffee in playbarns/passing round a tray of leftover garlic bread in community centres with the same group of parents every other weekend.

daisygirlmac Thu 21-Sep-17 22:29:35

In the 25 minutes after you are woken by a wailing banshee wake up at 5am you have been wee'd on, got poo in your fingernail, have accidentally eaten baby porridge and stood in a brown mushy heap of chewed banana you missed in the clean up last night. All before coffee. All before you've been for a wee yourself. And you don't even register any of these things as disgusting, unacceptable or horrifying. It's just, you know, the morning

WhooooAmI24601 Thu 21-Sep-17 22:33:37

When you don't even flinch when a child sneezes in your face.

When your immediate reaction to any child falling over/off something near you is to help them rather than hide.

When every handbag you own contains four lego men's hats, three playmobil men and a questionable satsuma.

cakesonatrain Thu 21-Sep-17 22:40:14

Oh yes, the bodily fluids. Somebody else's vom in your eye, or their poo/wee soaking through to your knickers, or their snot wiped on your trousers.
All of these things are just "sigh", when previously would have been "EWWWW"

FutureDays Thu 21-Sep-17 22:40:42

There are little person spare pairs of socks in all your pockets and bags

Queenofthedrivensnow Thu 21-Sep-17 22:43:01

Baby wipes!!! I have just donated a pack of baby wipes to my team at work grin

iklboo Thu 21-Sep-17 22:43:37

Your handbag is better prepared for random emergency situations than Ray Mears, Bear Grylls & Ed Stafford combined.

PlasticPatty Thu 21-Sep-17 22:44:52

The same person phones you four times in a day, for half an hour each time, and you're thrilled.

Armi Thu 21-Sep-17 22:45:38

I hold hands to cross the road. The stranger standing next to me was quite surprised.

PastryOnMyMind Thu 21-Sep-17 22:47:15

I waved goodbye to another adult in a shop who held the door for me by doing the little baby wave and going "bye byeeeeee"
got a funny look at first until I realised what i did and laughed it off

Mixedupmummy Thu 21-Sep-17 22:55:54

When coming in the house after being in a car accident (someone ran into the back of me on my way home after cleaning up toddler sick from the car at dancing drop off) instead of pouring a glass of wine or even making a cup of tea, you start cooking dinner.

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