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Unexpected payment from the csa?

(7 Posts)
thenewaveragebear1983 Thu 21-Sep-17 20:05:08

Today I had an unexpected payment of 200 from the csa. It was definitely for me as the reference no was my NI number.

I haven't claimed through the csa for a very long time. When ExP and I separated he refused to pay me anything. For many years he gave me £5 a week, then £10 a week. He currently gives me £80 per month by direct debit. He works as a supervisor at a big car factory, shift work, and lives with his mum in a council house (which she pays due to MH condition) so I know he can afford more than this. He also pays dd occasional pocket money and pays her phone contract (about £20 per month). The only time I've ever contacted the csa was in those first few years when he paid me nothing. This must be an outstanding debt from basically 11 years ago. They wrote to me a few months ago, asking if I wanted to write off this debt owed to me, but I didn't reply, thought no more of it. As far as I was aware the csa doesn't even exist anymore, and hadn't for years, and I was sure I was told years ago that any unpaid money was basically lost.

Currently I don't work but my Dh has a good job and we live in a nice home in a nice area. I know that ExP is going to be feeling the pinch of that £200. But I feel I should keep it, as it is owed to me- from all those years of raising a child alone on the breadline, even though I don't technically need it now, it would be nice. Dh raises dd as his own and she is treated equally to his own 2 ds that we now have together.

ExP and i have a functional, civil, co-parenting arrangement. He never lets my dd down anymore and they get on well. This is why I've never pushed him for the correct maintenance. But back in the days of this claim he was a complete bastard to me and dd.

Not really sure what my question is but: do I keep the money? Should I mention it to exp? Will it have come from him, or from some fund of unpaid payments? He hasn't mentioned it to me at all. Wwyd?

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey Thu 21-Sep-17 22:19:39

"Been there, done that etc." Keep the money/don't mention to ex. Use it to do something nice as a family unit, or, divide it equally between your 3 children - bank account/use for their Christmas/something they'd really like/school trip - the list is endless!

thenewaveragebear1983 Fri 22-Sep-17 06:57:22

Thanks otter I know you're right. I just feel like I shouldn't accept it because I don't really need it, and I sense a big row looming which we have managed to not have for many years! I need to grow a pair don't I??

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey Fri 22-Sep-17 10:04:37

Easier said than done, but try not to become embroiled in an argument about £200 - bearing in mind his current good relationship with your daughter. If it is an issue for your ex - remind him of years of £0, £5 & £10 payments, no pocket money etc. - the time you, caring for your daughter, struggled on the "breadline".

x2boys Fri 22-Sep-17 10:58:22

Regarding the CSA I too thought it had ceased to exist?My dh paid maintenance for his dd via the CSA but paid the last payment earlier this year as the were closing the case due to it ceasing to exist he now pays directly to his ex confused

thenewaveragebear1983 Fri 22-Sep-17 11:27:28

Yes I thought this too, that's the reason we went to a private arrangement in the first place. I understood that they were writing off any historic owed money?? Maybe they have written to Ex and he's voluntarily paid it?

thenewaveragebear1983 Fri 22-Sep-17 11:38:12

Well I've just phoned them up, they are closing but they have sent letters out for unpaid /owing accounts and ex p has paid it voluntarily.

Well I never.

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