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I want to change my legal name BUT

(39 Posts)
Opheliasgoldenwine Thu 21-Sep-17 19:48:40

I would have to change my whole name. First and middle would be too much for one name and my last name would be changed as I'm getting married. DP hates the name I picked and would it be a massive insult to my mother if I changed my full name? 10 points if you can guess what I want to change it to wink

RandomMess Thu 21-Sep-17 19:50:27

My DD changed her entire name - first, middle and last. Yes it is very hurtful.

Opheliasgoldenwine Thu 21-Sep-17 19:51:45

@RandomMess is it?? Would it be less hurtful if I kept the middle name? If you think about it, if I changed my name when I got married that's normal, so I'd only be opting to change my first name if that makes sense? Or do you think that would that still hurt?

howthelightgetsin Thu 21-Sep-17 19:53:36

Why do you want to change your first name?

MrsHathaway Thu 21-Sep-17 19:53:37

Can you not leave any of it? Leaving middle names as a courtesy to your mother wouldn't hurt you, would it?

Eg Emma Louise Smith changes to Ophelia Daenerys Emma Louise Smith and then to Ophelia Daenerys Emma Louise Thompson.

You don't mention why you're changing it. I'm baffled why you've chosen something your DH2B actively dislikes.

Opheliasgoldenwine Thu 21-Sep-17 19:58:04

It's not Ophelia winkgrin

I've loved this name for a long time and DP said he'd disliked it ONCE I said what I wanted to change it to. He's never mentioned this name before I suggested it for a girls name. But I didn't want it for DD, I wanted it for me, so DD isn't called it (that and he'd never okay it). It just seems to be me. I can't explain it, it just feels right. I hate my name sad

AutomaticSteeple Thu 21-Sep-17 20:00:04

Op, if you hate your name change it! Life is too short. I changed my first and middle name at the age of 30, and returned to my maiden name so it felt all new. No regrets at all smile

RandomMess Thu 21-Sep-17 20:00:37

I chose my DDs names with love and more their meanings, she binned them! Yes it would have been much nicer for me if she'd kept her middle names or shoved her first name as a middle one.

She has married but decided to add on her bio Dads surname and hyphen it with mine. She made a huge fuss when I remarried to keep that surname etc then she ditched it...

SteampunkPrincess Thu 21-Sep-17 20:03:41

Just do it

My friends dd changed hers from something (I thought was) beautiful to something (I thought was) really chavvy
(yeah i know mumsnet hates that word)

HarryLimeFoxtrot Thu 21-Sep-17 20:04:33

I hate my first name too. I'm known by my middle name most of the time. Except my family insist on using my first name - the one I hate (I can't ever remember liking it).

In fact, I'd love to get rid of my first name. I think I'd replace it with my late grandmother's name.

Josiah Thu 21-Sep-17 20:06:24

I've changed my name several times.

I've got rid of my hated middle name and split my first name into a first and middle name. My parents were a bit funny at first but ok now.

FoofFighter Thu 21-Sep-17 20:16:35

I changed my first name to my middle name, and now have no middle name.

I am NC with my surviving parent, not that I give much thought to what they might think anyway. I cannot imagine it'd be a problem though as I've never been referred to by my birth first name by any family member ever.

squoosh Thu 21-Sep-17 20:19:08

I'd find it a bit weird if someone I knew said 'I'm no longer called Katie Rose Smith. From now on I'm Ophelia Matilda Green'. Why do you hate your names so much?

Trills Thu 21-Sep-17 20:19:49

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Battyoldbat Thu 21-Sep-17 20:20:04

I think you should do it. I hate my given name too, and know what I'd like to change it to but I feel I'm too old now.

FuzzyCustard Thu 21-Sep-17 20:20:10

I changed my last name to an old family name (female line) and felt really quite empowered choosing my own surname. I kept it when I got married. My parents and family were all totally fine about it and my son has even adopted it as part of his name (despite his father threatening to disinherit him!)

Battyoldbat Thu 21-Sep-17 20:21:38

Sorry, I meant to say that I totally get what you mean about a name just being 'you', I feel the same. My given name is perfectly nice, it's just not me in any way, shape or form. I don't think anyone who doesn't feel like that about their name really gets it though.

LexieLulu Thu 21-Sep-17 20:23:42

Weird how certain things stick with you, I've never had any bad feels about my name, but then I read several people on a MN thread slating my name... now I'm a bit :-/ about it!

LexieLulu Thu 21-Sep-17 20:24:14

How would you approach the change? Would you send a text or fb status out?

IncyWincyGrownUp Thu 21-Sep-17 20:31:38

It's just words. Change it if you want, because you have to live with it, not your parents or your partner.

Opheliasgoldenwine Thu 21-Sep-17 20:35:38

@IncyWincyGrownUp problem is that do. DP will be saying if several times each day.

AutomaticSteeple Thu 21-Sep-17 20:40:48

It will be strange for people to get used to it but they will. Dp had to learn to call me a new name, there was a few slip ups but now my new name is just my name, the old one feel alien. You use your name so often in life that people who don't dislike there name probably don't even notice, if YOU would be happy changing it do it. I put it off from the age of 16 to 30 and I really regret that, my confidence is much better since changing it.

sukitea Thu 21-Sep-17 20:42:55

I worked with someone who sent an email around the department saying that she was no longer answering to her name from a date 2 weeks away was changing her name to XYZ and expected everyone to use it. It was quite difficult as the name she chose wasn't associated with her ethnic heritage, so she didn't look at all like that name. Think along the lines of a white British woman changing her name to Wing-Ma Chan.

MiddleClassProblem Thu 21-Sep-17 20:44:12

Have you ever discussed your name issues with your parents? Or do you have a nickname that you go by as you hate it so much?

Ttbb Thu 21-Sep-17 20:47:17

What's in a name? That which we call a rose would by any other name smell as sweet!

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