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Have you ever spent Christmas alone?

(74 Posts)
GoldenOrb Thu 21-Sep-17 19:46:51

The kids will be with their dad for most of this Christmas Day apart from a couple of hours with me in the morning.

My mum and dad are away. My sister is around but will be with her in laws.

Should I try and join my sister, or spend it by myself? Is it utterly miserable?! I run a lot so can imagine myself having a lovely long Christmas Day run and a long soak in the bath after followed by a non traditional Christmas dinner and some TV and a good sleep. Or am I deluding myself?!

FloorOpenSwallow Thu 21-Sep-17 19:53:06

Sounds lovely. Well, not the run bit, but the rest! Maybe a walk instead.

Will you feel left out or as if your imposing if you go with your sister? Because in that case, I'd definitely rather be alone.

MrsMotherHen Thu 21-Sep-17 19:56:01

if i had a christmas alone i would do just that but not the fun am a fatty. It sounds lovely.

SaintEyning Thu 21-Sep-17 19:58:52

Every other year I go and volunteer at a church that does Christmas for people from the local dementia residential care facility and other elderly / disabled local people who would otherwise be all alone. It's fun, rewarding and keeps me busy all day- helping to prepare food, lay the tables, decorate the hall, do the gift bags, collect and drop people- then I go home and have a nice in Christmassy curry, bath and watch telly! I'm not even vaguely religious!

DancesWithOtters Thu 21-Sep-17 19:59:06

Ooh yes. Round here a few Indian takeaways are open.

If I had Xmas day to myself I'd stay in pyjamas, order a huge fucking Indian banquet, and watch naff films all day. Chuck in a bottle of champagne too.

I'll be getting grumpy with relatives, doing miles of washing up, and watching all the oldies fall asleep on front of the tv at 9pm. envy

BarchesterFlowers Thu 21-Sep-17 20:00:47

I spent one Christmas alone with shingles - too poorly to travel and my mum had had heart surgery a few weeks before so dad couldn't leave her to collect me (200 miles).

I was alone in a foreign country with DD for her first two Christmases because DH was away with work. Not quite the same though.

I think your day sounds lovely but only if you think you will be happy. If you have any doubts you should go to your sister.

TotallyConkers Thu 21-Sep-17 20:03:44

I have spent many Christmas days alone through choice as people would invite me round when they found out I was on my own. I bloody loved it grin

I would buy my favourite food and nibbles and a special dvd to watch. Then I would spend all day relaxing with tv, music and then in the evening my dvd a bottle of champagne.

Namethecat Thu 21-Sep-17 20:10:10

Get a few beauty treats ( facepacks,foot soaks etc). Go for your run, get a glass of something lovely ,have a long soak with your favourite music. Watch all the films,tv programmes of your choice. M & S nibbles, personally I wouldn't bother with dinner but graze all day. Enjoy enjoy enjoy !

FuzzyCustard Thu 21-Sep-17 20:14:39

Yes I've had several Christmasses alone when DH was with his children (and also last year when DH was ambulanced to hospital on Christmas Day but that's another story) and it is much better than you expect. The thought of it can be a bit unnerving (and other people will tell you you can't possibly spend the day on your own) but actually you can watch what you want on the telly and eat fun food and go to bed early if you wish and it is genuinely OK.

RhubarbRocks Thu 21-Sep-17 20:20:52

I have done it twice. The first because I was off on holiday the next day and needed to stay in London to get to the airport at stupid o clock on Boxing Day, and the second because plans fell through at the last minute.

The first was amazing! I woke up and face timed my family, opened presents then got out and cycled round London - round Hyde park down Oxford street, regent street and through Westminster with no traffic at all (not a single car) and no people on a beautiful blue sky day. Like I was in some movie where all the people in the world had disappeared.

Then I went home and ate all my favourite bits of Christmas (cheese and cake) and none of the bits I don't like (turkey) with a large glass of wine and lots of good TV.

The second was heartbreaking because it wasn't planned or expected (friend I was supposed to be spending it with cancelled on Christmas Eve because of their own family issues) and I felt very lonely.

So, if you want it and plan for it, get your fave food in and plan something nice to do by yourself (even if that is just a few movies) then it can be a lovely day you will remember for years to come - but if you don't want it then go to your sister's.

GoldenOrb Thu 21-Sep-17 20:21:57

Sister will be with in laws and extended family so I will definitely feel out of place there. They are lovely, but it's still having to make polite conversation with people I hardly know.

Josiah Thu 21-Sep-17 20:22:28

Yes but not for awhile.

My daughter left home this year so I will be on my own with the dogs as my son and his partner like to have their own Christmas day together and my daughter will probably want to do the same with her boyfriend.

Christmas day is just another day but with an extra nice meal! I will make myself a Christmas dinner, I'm a vegetarian so will have a small nut roast probably.

willnotbetamed Thu 21-Sep-17 20:23:14

I have, and it was fine - I like my own company though. My parent have every second xmas away from family because me and my sister go to our in-laws in odd years, and they have found it helpful to not try and just be at home with a Christmas tree as it would make them feel a bit maudlin - they do something completely different, usually a long country walk. Their Christmas dinner is a thermos of tea and some sandwiches! They really enjoy it. They reckon a family Christmas every second year is quite often enough. Sitting at home at the table with a small Christmas dinner and without family would make them feel sad about what they were missing though.

qwertyberty Thu 21-Sep-17 20:23:53

I have Christmas alone for about 9 years now, but I like my own company and hate trying to be cheerful when I am not. I tend to make make a Christmas dinner (except last year) and nibbles for tea.
It's weird and hard emotionally at first but you get used to it and look at it as another boring bank holiday.
I guess it would be harder for you as you have children, but your plan seems great.
Have you actually mentioned to your sister that you will be alone most of the day? If you have you still may get an invite to her in-laws nearer the time, even if its for a couple of hours in the evening. Also I found out that in December if friends know you are going to be on your own they will invite you to theirs. I have always declined the offers for personal reasons.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 21-Sep-17 20:24:46

I did once, when I was a student. I had a decent Christmas job in my university town, finishing late on Christmas Eve and back in early on Boxing Day. I had no car, my friends had all gone home and my mum who was also alone didn't want to visit me in my digs. I had a big lie in, ate toast and chocolate, watched TV and then had an early night. I was glad to be at work on Boxing Day.

I'd make a better stab at doing something celebratory these days. Treat foods and drink, get some decent viewing lined up, possibly go to the pub for a bit of cheer.

penstemon Thu 21-Sep-17 20:27:09

How are you usually at the weekend when the DC are with their dad? Does the time really drag or do you enjoy your own company? If the latter, I think you will be fine. If the former, I would try & find something to do. Does it have to be your sister? Do you have any friends you can join or so you have any other single friends who may be looking for something to do. One of my friends was in this position last year & ended up having six people over for lunch, some of whom she scarcely knew. It obviously went quite well as she is planning on doing the same for Boxing Day this year (this is her year to have her DC on Xmas Day).

spiderlight Thu 21-Sep-17 20:37:20

You could always think outside the box and volunteer at a soup kitchen or something for the afternoon.

purplecorkheart Thu 21-Sep-17 20:44:13

Honestly, I would prefer to be on my own rather than with si's in laws. I would stock up on a couple of really good books, netflix, Marks and Spencer foody bits (canapes are my fav). New pjs and bed clothes. A good bottle of wine and nice coffee

GoldenOrb Thu 21-Sep-17 20:45:44

I enjoy my own company so have no worries about that. I am ok when I don't have the kids but usually keep quite busy and that usually involves seeing other people which I guess on Christmas Day might not happen. Although I am sure some like minded running friends will also be going out so I can plan a run with them and maybe a glass of something afterwards and then I'll feel fine about spending the rest of the day by myself.

I slightly disagree that Christmas Day is just another day, as in the past t has always been very special.

But with the choices I have got (as they stand at the moment) I'd much rather spend it by myself than with people I don't know very well. I'm an introvert and find being with people I don't know very hard work!

I could volunteer somewhere but with a job in the caring profession and with 3 kids half of the time, I am inclined to have Christmas Day as a rest and a relaxing day rather than giving to others. Sorry if that sounds really selfish.

MiddlingMum Thu 21-Sep-17 20:47:49

I think it would feel lonely if you were stuck at home with nothing to do.

If you plan something you'd really like to do it would be lovely. My choice would be a small hotel somewhere beautiful and a really long and strenuous walk followed by a meal and a good book.

littlecabbages Thu 21-Sep-17 20:48:17

Sounds like a dream!
YY to M&S nibbles and a bottle of champagne

GoldenOrb Thu 21-Sep-17 20:53:18

MiddlingMum I know what you are saying, but I think I'd do the same stuff in a hotel that I'd do at home, and I'd be paying for the privilege! I think I would feel more lonely having Christmas lunch in a hotel by myself surrounded by couples and families.

HailLapin Thu 21-Sep-17 20:58:05

Almost alone - the first Xmas my dc spent with their dad after our divorce.

I woke up and opened my gifts alone. I then visited my mum to wish her happy Xmas , and after that had a rather extravagant Xmas lunch at a restaurant with a friend.

I dedicated the evening to Xmas specials on TV and some red wine.

It was different but quite nice.

spiderlight Thu 21-Sep-17 21:04:04

Not selfish at all! Have a lovely relaxing day doing whatever you please. Call it your Christmas present to yourself!

dollydayscream Thu 21-Sep-17 21:29:17

Go for your run, go to church and then have a lovely time relaxing.
Make yourself a Christmas Day hamper. Bath soak, new pjs, a book, a bottle of gin or fizz, some chocolates or biscuits. What about a cheese board?
I hope that you have a lovely day.

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