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Frustrating school mum

(27 Posts)
BroomHandledMouser Wed 20-Sep-17 17:20:38

My DD has a really close friend in year one, loves her and vice versa.

Her friends mum I've known for a little while as her son and my DS are also in the same year together.

I need some tips on how to cope with her because I find her so frustrating.

One minute, she's chatting...running up to me in the school playground...let's do coffee etc etc.

Then the next minute..like yesterday and today....completely fucking ignores me!!

I find it really difficult to cope with this woman as I see her a lot at parties/school events and such.

My brain can't comprehend why she does this and I often find myself really thinking about it and getting worked up - when eventually it boils down to it must be my fault somehow.

How can I not give a shit!! HELP!! confused

BaxterStockboy Wed 20-Sep-17 17:24:36

No advice I'm afraid, but there are a couple at dc's school like this. I feel your pain

BroomHandledMouser Wed 20-Sep-17 17:26:17

I know I can't understand everything, DH always says that you can't control other people's actions, just your own.

I just find it so annoying. She gets through people at that school more than bloody toilet paper

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 20-Sep-17 17:28:13

You either speak me or you don't. I can't abide that juvenile going hot and cold. I left all that behind when I left school

ginteresting Wed 20-Sep-17 17:29:16

Is it not just sometimes they're busy and need to shoot off and sometimes have time for a chat. Maybe they're in a good mood/ sometimes had a morning from hell and want to dump dc and run. I say that because I'm like this and it's not personal to other parents. I have also noticed other parents like this with me.

BroomHandledMouser Wed 20-Sep-17 17:29:20

I know exactly! It makes it so hard because both sets of children get on so well.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 20-Sep-17 17:29:27

Oh one of them is she, licks a different arse every day.

Happyemoji Wed 20-Sep-17 17:29:57

Try and find someone to talk to or find a corner in the playground you can hide in.

BroomHandledMouser Wed 20-Sep-17 17:31:18

See I'm not even sure that's it.

It was my birthday yesterday. She knew it was my birthday - but she walked with me to the classroom in silence 😂 Wtf?

My DD said 'oh it's mummy's birthday today' and she said nothing! I wanted to ground to swallow me up!

ginteresting Wed 20-Sep-17 17:35:33

That does sound odd. I'd just not make any effort but be polite when she does speak to you and not give her anymore head space!

Ttbb Wed 20-Sep-17 17:41:17

Maybe she's just really tired and doesn't want to do the whole socialising for the sake of the kids thing? Don't take it personally. School gate friendships usually aren't personal.

paxillin Wed 20-Sep-17 17:56:50

She is the mum of your DC's friend, but clearly not "friend material" for you. Stop trying to be friends. Think of her like the cashier at Tesco or the postman, I bet you never worry about them being friendly one day and not so nice the next. Be polite and nice enough to get the "transaction" done (whether play-date or weekly shop).

why12345 Wed 20-Sep-17 17:57:54

Yup I know one of them to! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

BMW6 Wed 20-Sep-17 18:02:55

Next time she runs up to you and is all chatty, tell her to get lost. Tell her you can't abide people who blow hot and cold like she does.

goldenlilliesdaffodillies Wed 20-Sep-17 18:08:16

Yes there were a few like that at DS's old school. Strangely they would become very friendly if needed something, then back to blanking me. Very childish behaviour.

MuchBenham Wed 20-Sep-17 18:15:10

I used to work for someone like this. It is so weird. What is the point of being like this? Try not to waste your valuable energy worrying about her OP. I agree with the previous advice to think of her like the postman! Just a person who you see regularly but don't invest a lot of time in. Maybe try that?

BroomHandledMouser Wed 20-Sep-17 18:21:51

Really good ideas! I'm going to try that!

Thanks all smile

Thinkingofausername1 Wed 20-Sep-17 18:36:49

I know a few like this. Then when you ignore the behaviour it's your fault and your in the doghouse.

RidiculousDiversion Wed 20-Sep-17 18:39:58

Could she be faceblind? I don't recognise people and so I'll be friendly if I get a clue to who you are (recognise clothes, someone says your name etc) but will treat you as a total stranger if nothing clued me in.

Picklesandpies Wed 20-Sep-17 18:45:02

I absolutely hate this. It is rife where we live (village in the South East.) Just make your mind up. Can't be doing with the blowing hot and cold. It's so rude!

Picklesandpies Wed 20-Sep-17 18:46:22

And as regards them being busy/having a bad morning, that's often the case for me but a quick hello as you walk past is hardly an big effort or time consuming!

Notonthestairs Wed 20-Sep-17 18:49:11

Do you expect to speak to her at every pick up?
I only ask because I don't think I speak to the same person every day regardless of my children's friendship. Two kids to collect from two classes so probably know anywhere between 30-60 parents in the playground, don't dislike anyone there and will talk to who ever I end up standing next to or some days I probably don't speak to anyone at all. I'd hate to think people thought I was ignoring them. Some days I'm just panicking about shit in my head and want to just exit ASAP. I often want to go for coffee but for totally tedious reasons at the moment it's not all that practical.

MamTDM Wed 20-Sep-17 18:59:00

There's a mum at our school who's a bit like this. It irked me for a long time and then she told me that she suffers from terrible migraines and on days when she just charges past grim-faced it's because she's feeling really unwell and just trying to get it all over with so she can crawl home to bed.

peachybeachy Wed 20-Sep-17 19:30:23

I always suggest a coffee just to get the needy mums off my back. And sometimes il pass with a quick wave and a smile but sometimes I'll stop to chat. I have about a dozen lovely friends and this woman will never be one no matter how nosey, chatty, judge she is to me!

gamerwidow Wed 20-Sep-17 19:55:23

Not your fault at all. I think I might be guilty of doing this because I have terrible social anxiety and some days I can be really chatty and other days I panic and get paralysed with fear and can't bear to talk to anyone.
I'd try if you talked to me though I wouldn't blank you I just wouldn't be able to start a conversation.

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