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Talk me out of having a 3rd!

(30 Posts)
Mayhemmumma Wed 20-Sep-17 14:23:13

No contraception used for a year now so it might not even happen.

But keep coming back to thoughts of another one...i want to give birth again, breastfeed, have a new born. But do I really want another child?!

My two are great but exhausting (3 and 6)
I'm soon to have more time to myself and more opportunity to progress with career.
I'm hopeless with sleepless nights.
I don't want to rock a pretty happy boat.

(Practically I'm 33, DH ultra keen for more, we have space and could afford it...and don't do many package holidays)

Why can't I just give up with it!

user1471459936 Wed 20-Sep-17 14:44:19

Nah. Just go for it! grin

SueGeneris Wed 20-Sep-17 14:46:33

My number 3 is a total joy. Born when 1 and 2 were 6 and 4.

Sorry, that's not what you asked!

BamburyFuriou3 Wed 20-Sep-17 14:49:09

3 is perfect for us grin

Sorry I'm not being helpful!

PerfectlyPooPoo Wed 20-Sep-17 14:49:32

You say you don't do holidays now, but you might like to in the future?

My dh would have another one but I'm 40 and feel 2 is my limit so I can't talk you in to it!

I have a school mum friend whose middle dc started school with my eldest and our youngest are the same age. She doesn't regret the third but often says life was so much easier with two and that her family (dh and dc) talked her into a third.

flynn80 Wed 20-Sep-17 14:54:49

Just do it, 33 is nothing!

Tinty Wed 20-Sep-17 15:02:03

Does this help:- 3rd turns out to be twins or triplets, suddenly need bigger buggy, bigger car, house etc. grin

Mayhemmumma Wed 20-Sep-17 18:21:05

Ah man this doesn't help! (I'd like twins too in my fantasy life!) Right...i have no support, no babysitters bar DH. I like to go out and see my friends. Don't do it.

Adviceplease360 Wed 20-Sep-17 18:30:18

Do it, definitely. You'll be glad you did, third baby brings the family together

petitdonkey Wed 20-Sep-17 18:32:18

My 3rd is my favourite child wink

cashmerecardigans Wed 20-Sep-17 18:43:37

I'm a 3rd child and I'm fabulous, or so my mother says grin

Mayhemmumma Wed 20-Sep-17 19:50:37

Oh blimey. Right one last try! (I've said that many times!)

effiehabb Wed 20-Sep-17 22:35:07

Do it!! We are expecting number 3 in 9 weeks. Beyond excited! grin

beargryllshasabigrope Wed 20-Sep-17 22:36:12

Do it! Having a third is brilliant!

curiouscatgotkilled Wed 20-Sep-17 22:41:06

Life is significantly harder with 3. You are pulled 3 ways, louder, messier, more stressful, expensive etc etc etc. Obviously there is a but..... my number three is an absolute darling, the third time of babyhood etc was lovely with the knowledge and experience that you'll have you can really enjoy them without the worry. I think that once the idea is in your head you've basically decided to go for it.

fucksakefay Wed 20-Sep-17 23:04:01

My life was so much harder. We needed a bigger house and car and holidays are twice as expensive as you need two rooms in most places.
No 3 was a demon who didn't sleep for 3 years, walked at 9 months and then didn't stop running off in public and tantrumming until she was nearly 4.
DH worked shifts so I got fearful of taking the older two out as it was such a nightmare to take the toddler too.
She's a delight now but god it was hard. The other two were dreams in comparison I wouldn't have chosen it if I knew what was coming.

cheeseismydownfall Wed 20-Sep-17 23:55:49

We call our DC3 the family glue - he is totally adored by us all and he absolutely completed our family. It's impossible to imagine life without him. Sorry grin

NearLifeExperience Thu 21-Sep-17 00:09:57

3's not enough. I had 5 and I don't regret a thing!

CoolCarrie Thu 21-Sep-17 00:11:56

Don't do it, if your heart really isn't set on another child.

Frazzled74 Thu 21-Sep-17 00:14:22

My 3rd is adorable! But it all felt a bit uneven so I had to have a 4th! Go for it!

Mayhemmumma Thu 21-Sep-17 10:53:17

Argh!!!! Broody with a sensible head on. The fear of sleepless nights and tantrums is really off putting.

PerfectlyPooPoo Thu 21-Sep-17 10:59:32

I think I know what you are going for OP. I knew dd2 was my last so I just enjoyed it all, the labour, the birth (which was fab and a total breeze compared to the first), the sleepless nights, the bf, all the shit and glory of a baby as I knew it was the last time.

I could not think of anything worse now then having a third! I am mentally done 'enjoying' the shit bits and DD1 handed me her dolly this morning and asked if Nanny (me hmm) would mind looking after her today. I am ready in at least 15 years to be a nanny!

SecretFreebirther Thu 21-Sep-17 11:09:18

Okay, I think I can be your voice of reason! Before having my last baby I was very happy. We were in the best financial position we'd ever been in, just moved to a five bed house, had bought the 7 seater. I was a stay at home Mum, so so happy. I wanted to be pregnant again, breastfeed again, have a new squishy baby to wrap (loved my slings!) There was no reason not to go for it right? Great pregnancy, could afford decent maternity clothes this time, got involved in some lovely antenatal groups. Baby born (fab birth-see username!) but would. not. breastfeed (very long story but I am a very experienced breastfeeder and had the very best support but it just wasn't happening.) Cue very deep pnd that has been devastating to us all. I realised I had wanted another baby for the wrong reasons. For a while I felt I needed to 'try again' (ie, for a normal baby that would bf) but realised I was running the risk of encountering even more serious problems. Just something to think about.

butteriesplease Thu 21-Sep-17 11:52:02

I have 3 (currently 13, 10 and 4.5). I had my last when I was 39 (just a few weeks off 40!). he's great. Wouldn't swap him.

BUT.

I have NO money. Skint constantly. House feels tiny.
things for you to consider: Childcare costs
costs of kids activities
space in your house
space in your car.

space in your head. It's full on, ALL THE TIME.

Kaykee Thu 21-Sep-17 13:17:01

I have 4, stick at 2 ha
I tell people that all the time. But wouldn't change mine for the world, no4 was rather a surprise.
But seriously if you do go for it, it's lovely 3 is a nice number (4 is chaos) I love a big family and I'm on my own (certainly not by choice).

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