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Parents' Evening. Oh the shame! Contains spiders and TMI

(21 Posts)
FloorOpenSwallow Tue 19-Sep-17 20:28:01

My DS called his teacher over at break time to show her a small spider crawling in the corridor. He then, according to her, picked it up with his fingers and held it out to show her. And then put it in his mouth and ate it shockconfused🤢
Which led her on to the topic that he has been wriggling on his chair and scratching his backside and could we please check him for worms 🤢 as he's eating bugs and insects and playing in the dirt. (I had noticed him scratching himself but put it down to his recent decision to close the bathroom door when he's on the loo and no longer asking me to check he's clean.)
Apart from that she had a few good things to say but blushblushblush

blahdblah Tue 19-Sep-17 20:30:37

Did he actually eat the spider though? or was he winding her up?

QueenMortificado Tue 19-Sep-17 20:36:31

How old is he? Please say he's 17.....

LittleLights Tue 19-Sep-17 20:37:38

Queen grin

FloorOpenSwallow Tue 19-Sep-17 20:41:17

grin he's 7! And yes, I can well believe he ate it.

WashBasketsAreUs Tue 19-Sep-17 20:42:52

Reminds me of the time I was wiping my grandson's nose, said he had a bogey hanging out. Quick as a flash he pulled his face away, got that bogey on his finger and ate it! THEN he shouted in a loud voice he likes eating bogeys, whilst I was standing next to my boss and several of my work mates. They were pissing themselves, I could have died.

FloorOpenSwallow Tue 19-Sep-17 20:45:48

Yes, finger up nose was also mentioned blush Honestly it sounds like he's feral not that I spend half my life telling him to get his fingers out his nose, take a tissue, wash his hands and as a last resort enforced nose blowing
It's permitted to tie a child's hands together, right?

BaconAndBees Tue 19-Sep-17 20:48:57


Katsite Tue 19-Sep-17 20:51:20

Spiders are yum!!

APocketfulOfStars Tue 19-Sep-17 20:53:32

I thought I had a crumb of food at the back of my throat this afternoon. When I cleared my throat and looked at the little lump, it was a tiny (dead) idea how that got in my mouth.

FloorOpenSwallow Tue 19-Sep-17 21:24:33

Oh and today he walked through the school, down three flights of stairs, past all the classrooms in just his pants and gym shoes.
He got his gym clothes wet yesterday and the teacher left them on the radiator to dry. Forgot to give them back this morning so when he went to get changed he had no clothes. She'd gone ahead to the gym and the kids follow when they're dressed so he had no one to ask. I hope he doesn't get teased for it sad

MyDobbygotgivenasock Tue 19-Sep-17 21:27:54

Oh, I don't think my mum has ever really recovered from the time she was entertaining her church's Mrs Perfect and all the little perfects in the garden when my brother picked up a gigantic shit brown slug, paused for a second, and then very thoughtfully ate it.
I believe my mum broke the Olympic record for long jump that day, alas even with extra bounce and time slowing to a crawl she didn't make it. My brother was autistic and non verbal but had the curiosity of a pride of lions, he didn't offer an opinion on slug tartare but never did eat another so I think it was fairly putrid.
There's also the family legend of an uncle that sampled an actual dog poo, served fresh from the dog.
It made me very grateful that the worst school sampling I had to deal with was a mouthful of glitter, I didn't feel it necessary to inform the lovely teacher about the subsequent very festive poos...DS greeted her with that news at full volume across the playground, so I didn't have to really.
In my experience if you don't get an eater of things, you get a 'put-er' of things, I have removed things from places about which I do not wish to speak.
You have my sympathies, thank goodness teachers have seen it all!

MyDobbygotgivenasock Tue 19-Sep-17 21:33:31

Cross posted with your last. That's a bit rubbish, poor little lamb, it's an easy thing to forget when you're busy but sad
I'm sure he won't be, mine would have loved that and thought he was cool.

CircleofWillis Wed 20-Sep-17 03:18:54

It is very unusual to find a 7 year old eating bugs. It would be rare in reception let alone in year 3 (year 2 if he has just had his birthday). If he really did eat the spider it could have been to get a reaction from his teacher. Have you discussed this with him to find out the motivation?

highinthesky Wed 20-Sep-17 03:22:45

Oh the shame! Cue 2 yo DD: "Thought about changing my name".

Only1scoop Wed 20-Sep-17 03:26:47

Poor spider


FloorOpenSwallow Wed 20-Sep-17 05:12:17

I hope you're right MyDobby. He does want to know why he can't eat slugs seeing as humans (not me personally but IL's partake) eat snails. And he did ask about worms.
No point asking him Circle he would just say he wanted to taste it. And I honestly don't think his thought processes work like that. Now, if there had been other children there and one had told him to eat it, then he would have done to impress them. But just to get a reaction from the teacher, I'm not sure. We have had a discussion about 'what do humans eat and what do birds eat.'
Well, yes and no scoop. In his eyes it's no different from eating a piece of pork. Both are animals.

Watch out, OP - tomorrow it might be a bird. Then a cat... these things can accelerate very rapidly I've heard grin

FloorOpenSwallow Wed 20-Sep-17 07:16:59

grin its five years since he ate a fly!

Only1scoop Wed 20-Sep-17 09:41:54

I must be missing something here.

Will re read

MyDobbygotgivenasock Wed 20-Sep-17 18:48:59

I don't think it was cruelty as it doesn't sound to me that there was anything malicious or any intent to cause suffering. It certainly hasn't been glorified and in reality I don't suppose there is much difference for the spider if it was bird or child.
I see a young child who is curious and who, like a great many of his peers and children of my experience, is still developing a true understanding of empathy, of how his actions affect other beings and the world around him, how other's actions affect him and still battling impulse control. Sometimes the answer to "Why did you do that?" truly is "I don't know" because there wasn't reason behind action, just impulse and it happened. Sometimes the answer is very simple and it's hard luck for us if we want some deeper meaning. I see a mother who is caring and guiding and is going to be dealing with a variety of these little incidents, as we all do depending on the personalities of our children and what they throw at us, until his maturity catches up and he can really learn the lessons he's currently being taught because he will have developed enough to understand them.
I don't see anyone who is quite happy to allow a child to deliberately cause suffering for enjoyment's sake or a child who is cruel.
I'm a bug catcher and relocator but is he more cruel than the majority of adults who stamp on or otherwise splat a spider or fly or moth? When one understands what another creature might feel and one doesn't.

I have looked after a lot of children and some take longer to become less literal, some take longer to practice empathy because they are learning it rather than being a child who just naturally feels it, some concepts can be very abstract for certain types of thinkers and some are just younger than their years, none of that is wrong and time, good guidance and just being able to grow up a bit can make the world of difference. Also sometimes children aren't wrong, they haven't bought into our cognitive dissonances yet so question these things that aren't actually self explanatory. Sometimes we forget to teach obvious things too, we assume a level or ability of transferable thinking that they just don't have.
If there was a survey of 7 year old boy parents then I think there would be many more reports of 'things that it's unusual to find a 7 year old doing' than 7 year old boys not doing a great list of those things. Because they're 7 and it's highly likely they'll do something that leaves you speechless, things they know not to do, dangerous things, daft things, they'll all have a few of these incidents under their belts and still be perfectly lovely, well mannered great children the rest of the time. Then in another ten years you'll look your 17 year old in the eye and ask the same question and...they don't know why they did it.

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