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Preschool play date etiquette - do you take something for the host / child?

(49 Posts)
cliffdiver Thu 10-Aug-17 07:12:06

Due to working FT, it's been a good year or so since I've done a play date.

DD2 (3) and I (plus DD1, 5) have been invited to a play date.

One of the mum's at nursery - First play date at a parent's house I don't know.

Usually, if the play date were at a friend's house I would take cake or flowers and / or a treat for the children to enjoy.

this family are going away tomorrow (so no flowers) and I know the DS is allergic to peanuts so would not want to take anything that could potentially have nuts in. So I'm at a loss as to what I could take.

Would you take a token something?

cliffdiver Thu 10-Aug-17 07:44:16

Shameless bump blush

MainGrain Thu 10-Aug-17 07:44:48

What about a punnet of strawberries? Generally what we've taken on new playdates and gone down well. Mostly started as otherwise my DS will be asking the host for food after 5minutes blush

cliffdiver Thu 10-Aug-17 07:48:33

Fruit is a good idea.

I don't worried that taking food could offend the host though?

cliffdiver Thu 10-Aug-17 07:48:50

I am not I'm don't confused

MainGrain Thu 10-Aug-17 08:04:00

I just fronted it out with 'dont want DS pestering you' honestly it'll be fine. Some have used them and others have just said oh don't worry I've plenty of cake or snacks for them.

Otherwise you can always just text and ask on the day? Sort of we're just popping into the supermarket on our way for some bits can I bring/do you need something?

NeonFlower Thu 10-Aug-17 08:06:29

Usual to bring something but I would not mind if you didn't, and might prefer if it was not sugary.

MainGrain Thu 10-Aug-17 08:08:04

Im only new to playdates with DS and kinder friends, so can only share that I've done as said and still been invited back and successfully reciprocated so far. It's such a social minefield though, don't won't him having no friends due to my blundering the social niceties!

cliffdiver Thu 10-Aug-17 08:09:19

Yes, I am thinking not sugary.

Host mum just text to say she was baking muffins for a snack and to check no allergies.

So that's the snack covered...

Am thinking a colouring / sticker book for the DS?

MainGrain Thu 10-Aug-17 08:17:17

you're much more generous than me smile We'll sometimes take a puzzle or game that they can play together.

cliffdiver Thu 10-Aug-17 09:12:13

A new puzzle / game to leave there or one of your DC's?

Feeling anxious! blush

NorthumbrianGirl Thu 10-Aug-17 09:18:46

I've never taken anything, or had anything brought when kids have come here for a play date.

hazeyjane Thu 10-Aug-17 09:22:20

I have never taken anything to a playdate except my children!

confusedofengland Thu 10-Aug-17 09:28:59

I usually take something - often a punnet of strawberries or pack of cakes. If she is baking muffins I'd say strawberries or similar would be a welcome addition. Or you could take maybe a pack of stickers for all the DC to use together.

Although looking at the other responses on here, I'm obviously a bit odd taking things!

MainGrain Thu 10-Aug-17 10:08:51

We take one of our games/puzzles.

We've always taken something with us to share to a playdate and so far guests have always brought a snack too grin

Avebury Fri 11-Aug-17 00:16:37

I would normally take cake/biscuits but would avoid because of the allergies. What about some tubs of bubbles for the children?

BackforGood Fri 11-Aug-17 00:34:54

Good grief no.... don't start more present giving..... just makes the whole having a child round to play more and more of 'an event' and less about the dc playing.

TheWorldHasGoneToCake Fri 11-Aug-17 06:34:01

I would normally take food (cake). Like the idea of a punnet of fruit or some bubbles.

User11220 Fri 11-Aug-17 06:48:49

Personally I don't think it's necessary to bring anything and might just create pressure on other person to bring something on return play dates. TBH I think reciprocation of the play date within a reasonable time is the best thing you can do to show appreciation!

CWG17 Fri 11-Aug-17 06:55:13

If you want to take something (which I don't think you have to) maybe make it some drinks? That way if they already have too much fresh food to use before the holiday they can stay in the cupboard until they are back. A 4 pack of fruit shoots or something.

biscuitbadger Fri 11-Aug-17 07:44:59

I've never taken anything, and wouldn't expect to be brought anything, if it's just kids going round to play.

I generally invite their kids back to ours another time though.

hazeyjane Fri 11-Aug-17 07:46:38

Gosh I'm glad mine are past this (well they still have friends over, but they just come back after school and stick their heads in the snack cupboard and then disappear). I don't understand why it's necessary to bring something, surely it's just for a play, milk and a bourbon biscuit and a cup of coffee if they're the age when parent stays.

parrotseatemall Fri 11-Aug-17 12:28:47

Don't bring anything! Especially not presents. I find it really annoying when a guests brings food, if I've specifically said I'm providing food. Just allow them to host you graciously.

GhostsToMonsoon Fri 11-Aug-17 13:49:39

It never occurred to me to bring anything, but when DS had a friend over aged 5 his mum brought a bag full of chocolate and sweets. She is from India so perhaps it is not the done thing there to turn up empty-handed.

GreenShadow Fri 11-Aug-17 13:50:37

Wow. We had, and went to, so many friends houses over the years (I refuse to call them playdates) that taking gifts, even basic ones, wouldn't have been practical. It's just friends playing together. No big event.

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