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Crabbit Unicorns Need Tequila Slammers.

(768 Posts)
BankWadger Tue 20-Jun-17 00:44:36

It's a Sweary thread. The cave has over heated so drunken unicorns Swearies are in Cuntropez.

No reporting.

BankWadger Tue 20-Jun-17 01:03:06


toffee1000 Tue 20-Jun-17 01:35:34

Teeheehee at title

Debinaround Tue 20-Jun-17 07:16:16

Hello! Love the title Bankgrin

The cat is back, thank fuck. You were right Gin, she came home in the middle of the night. Got Charlie one of those smart trikes because he has started to refuse to go in his buggy. Hope he will ride on it because I can't bare to walk the school run with him. He's a nightmare.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Tue 20-Jun-17 07:31:13

👏👏👏👏👏👏 well done on the title, that'll bamboozle the sweary haters (for two minutes)
It's cooler outside! Fucking hooray!
Yay for return of puss cat Debs!
I am not wanting to go to work. It can bite my big white arse.

HerRoyalFattyness Tue 20-Jun-17 07:37:05

Good morning fanny flaps.
grin at title. Some cunts going to read it, click and then go into a strop because we swear like ducking troopers. Dicks. grin

What we up to today twatbags?

SheWhoDaresGins2 Tue 20-Jun-17 08:14:06

Morning! It is a lot fresher this morning.

<sudden choir singing hallelujah>

Now I am happy grin

Well done on the thread title. Surely no one will expect it to be changed when it doesn't exactly say cunt. I bet it gets reported though grin

Back later. The child needs me.

BastardGoDarkly Tue 20-Jun-17 08:32:17


Outstanding work on the thread Bank and filling up the old one in such style star

Yes, cooler today, thank fuck.

Awww happy belated birthday Charlie!! I remember the school run walking/pushing/picking up random sticks and taking forever days Deb trike sounds awesome.

So, had grand plans to whip the house into shape, but after 4 hours sleep last night, following a sauna of a shift, I'm now thinking snooze first?

SheWhoDaresGins2 Tue 20-Jun-17 08:39:59

Yes Bastard I will join you in a snooze, well not literally but you know what I mean.

Glad the cat showed up Deb that's great news, hope the trike works for the school run, if not, electic car?

Just checked the weather it is going to be cloudy all day woo hoo and get this, thunder storms tomorrow when I'm at work grin still going to be humid but at least I won't be staring at gorgeous blue skies through a skylight window 12ft above where I'm sat.

BankWadger Tue 20-Jun-17 09:34:16

Also aimimg for a nap. Not enough sleep, slept in, sick boy, mad scrabble to get girl up fed dressed and out door. Now under blanket on couch grin

Pleased you all like the title. Crabbit unicorns about sums up my life atm.

Welcome home debcat <offers dreamies>

MusicToMyEars800 Tue 20-Jun-17 09:39:20

It's too fucking humid here!!! it's 32 today going to be 33 tomorrow <climbs into freezer and refuses to come out> It's not fucking fresher here, only plus is there's lots of clouds. I've run a bath so I am going to have to wait for it to cool down for a bit then will add the cold water.
If we get reported I will be taking the slapping hand out of hibernation grin Glad the cat came back Deb I hope we get some thunderstorms where I am.

MusicToMyEars800 Tue 20-Jun-17 10:19:24

Oh now the clouds have done one!! so it's blue skies and scorching sun again YAY!! <sarcastically said> at least there's a bit of breeze coming through the living room window.

Debinaround Tue 20-Jun-17 10:41:24

Cloudy here and thunder storms forecast for tomorrow too. I'm about to go to work, boss phoned yesterday to see if I could work extra. Need the money so couldn't say no unfortunately

Charlie has got a place at the nursery I wanted him in. Thank fuck. It's attached to DSs school so I can take them both at the same time. Got mornings too. Woohoo.

Debinaround Tue 20-Jun-17 10:43:09

She is in disgrace grin

BankWadger Tue 20-Jun-17 10:50:24

Nwah, look at that ickle face 😸

MusicToMyEars800 Tue 20-Jun-17 11:08:51

<Picks up DCat for cuddles and strokes> She is too cute!
Great news on the nursery place smile My youngest dd got into the school nursery it made life a lot easier grin

AdoraBell Tue 20-Jun-17 11:25:14

⭐️ on title 😁👍

<drags in vats of 🍷🍸🍻>

I'll be back. Fuck sake.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Tue 20-Jun-17 11:41:54

Ahhh look at the little poppet. Not a cat lover myself but sweary cats are cute and acceptable grin

I am loving the air today, there actually is some!! All windows and doors are WIDE open like TS legs it's bloody marvelous.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Tue 20-Jun-17 11:42:05

Ahhh look at the little poppet. Not a cat lover myself but sweary cats are cute and acceptable grin

I am loving the air today, there actually is some!! All windows and doors are WIDE open like TS legs it's bloody marvelous.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Tue 20-Jun-17 12:00:10

I love it when the neighbours are out. I blast my tunes. Got a bose system and fuck me it BLASTS. Just got to keep randomly checking no one has come back wink

<goes off dancing>

BastardGoDarkly Tue 20-Jun-17 12:12:21

Fuck em Gin blast on.

Naaaww DebCat you're bloody lovely, yes you are, wuvwy wuvwy wuvwy cat <Ahem> nothing to see here fuckers.

I'm awake, snooze turned into a slumber, then a coma hmm

What's up with sick boy Bank ?

Night off tonight!!! Shame i have to take kinder swimming, or I'd be mighty tempted to have a cider in the garden.

SheWhoDaresGins2 Tue 20-Jun-17 12:24:48

I'm awake, snooze turned into a slumber, then a coma

Ha ha ha Bastard grin

RE music they wouldn't mind anyway they are really cool neighbours they're in to heavy rock and go to motorbike festivals and shit. But this is loud. The loo has a vibrating seat at the moment and you can feel it in the walls. grin only way to listen to music IMHO

Well was going to have a ham and coleslaw sandwich but as there is no ham coleslaw it is. yum...

AdoraBell Tue 20-Jun-17 13:49:48

I want a thunder storm <stamps foot weakly due to fucking heat> out afuckingain, will RTFT laters afuckingain

🍸🍦☕<iced coffee> all round. I'll be back. Fuck sake.

MusicToMyEars800 Tue 20-Jun-17 14:09:38

My feet have a sweat problem.... Never in my life have I known anyone who's feet get as sweaty as mine, they might aswell be spraying hmm
I suffer from awful chub rub and have no talc in, will have to bear it though I cannot wear trousers, I am in desperate need of clothing <sobs at sad skintness and being fat> grin fuck sake, why can't I get my arse exercising < huffs >

MusicToMyEars800 Tue 20-Jun-17 14:21:12

OH FUCKING GREAT!! I've just seen on the weather forecast for tomorrow it will be 34 degrees here!! WTAF?! how will I survive < runs to tescunts to empty there ice-cream and lolly supply >

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