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If Nursery Rhymes were threads on MN

(118 Posts)
KurriKurri Fri 16-Jun-17 21:36:23

"Can anyone recommend a cleaning product"

I was just adding up the cost of ingredients for a rice pudding when my weasel exploded.

"should I take him to A and E?"

Sent my kids up the hill to fetch a pail of water, and DS has come home with a broken crown - A and E or wait and see?

Answer ' Kids are always breaking their crowns - no wonder the NHS is in such a state if people keep turning up with slightly damaged children. Get a grip woman, vinegar and brown paper are your friends.

Who killed Cock Robin

MNHQ 'Thread deleted as this case is still under investigation'

OrlandaFuriosa Fri 16-Jun-17 21:48:23

Should I take him to A&E 2
He's fallen off the wall. I gave a feeling there's not much we can do for him. Kings College Hospital or Tommies?

Help.... lost sheep
My turn to look after class flock. What do I do now?

WWYD? Theft.. should I ring 999?
I made some jam tarts for DH's dinner. They've gone. I suspect NDN's son,.

Imbeingunreasonable Fri 16-Jun-17 21:56:12

WTF just happened?!?

Trying to go to sleep at this hour and just about dozing off when all of a sudden I hear someone rapping at my window then crying through my lock something about children being in bed. And to top it all he was wearing his nightclothes. Tempted to call the police

MaroonPencil Fri 16-Jun-17 22:36:33

I have so many children. So. Many. Children. I just can't cope. AIBU to whip them all soundly and send them to bed?

Just so I am not accused of drip feeding, we live in a shoe. Don't judge.

QueenofLouisiana Fri 16-Jun-17 22:48:26

Manspreading- how do I deal with it?

I was sitting eating my low carb lunch (curds and whey- organic naturally) when this bloke sat too close. She was spreading his 8 legs all over the place- right into my space. I was really intimidated and left hurriedly. WHBU?

QueenofLouisiana Fri 16-Jun-17 22:49:07

He was spreading his legs...

Kleptronic Fri 16-Jun-17 22:52:08

There was a little girl*, who had a little curl...

<the entirety of Mumsnet>

*insert man, trans, intersex, agnostic as appropriate

Asmoto Fri 16-Jun-17 22:52:35

Useless Council

I am a GP, and was on my way to my surgery in the Gloucester area when I stepped into what I thought would be a 'normal' puddle - well, how wrong I was - it was waist deep. I know it was raining, but AIBU to think I pay my Council Tax so that these things can be fixed?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Fri 16-Jun-17 22:53:46

A spider just sat down beside me.
Do I have to burn my tuffet with fire?

GallicosCats Fri 16-Jun-17 22:54:34

AIBU to worry about table manners? I know he's eating Christmas pie but should he really be sticking his thumb in it? Or do I need to lighten up?

KurriKurri Fri 16-Jun-17 23:04:32

Recipe ideas for Pease Pudding

We've had it hot, we've had it cold, we've had it in the pot nine days old,
should I serve it with some olives and a nice glass of Prosecco ?

QueenofLouisiana Fri 16-Jun-17 23:06:57

Gender roles?
AIBU- in DH's family it is always a woman's turn to make the tea. "Polly, put the kettle on!". Then my MIL gets called to turn it off again. When will the men take a turn?

MaroonPencil Fri 16-Jun-17 23:08:44

So I have had it up to here with DD losing things. She lost her lunch box, her school sweater, her homework diary, just in the last week. You will never guess what she has lost now. Her sodding pocket. Her pocket! How?!

Update: Her friend K found it and has dropped it round. But how to stop this happening again?

Asmoto Fri 16-Jun-17 23:13:40

Report to the RSPCA?

I was on my way to Church this morning (just as the bells were ringing) and, passing the old well outside, was just in time to see a cat being rescued from inside it. Fortunately, the lad pulling the cat out was a hefty fellow. I've since heard a rumour that the cat was put inside the well by his much younger, smaller, friend (although they both have the same name so it's a bit confusing). Should I act on this and report, or let it go as it's just rumour-mongering. PS - the cat is fine smile

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Fri 16-Jun-17 23:17:24

I think i have just seen a cat playing a fiddle and I swear that a cow has just jumped over the moon!
Is it time to cut back on the gin?

OrlandaFuriosa Fri 16-Jun-17 23:24:29

Chat. Advice please. RSPB chairman coming to lunch. My chef d'oeuvre may not be appropriate. It's very spectacular but involves quite a lot of noise and fluttering. Should I just do plain old roast chicken or not do birds at all?

Special needs.
DS1 tried to buy a pie from a street vendor without money, poor sweetie. He's pretty upset about the answer he got but to make it worse his class is now calling him names. Should I ignore it?

Asmoto Fri 16-Jun-17 23:25:57

How to deal with compensation claim from domestic employee

So, she's blaming us because she was putting out the washing and some blackbird came down and completely ripped off her nose! She wants to sue us for the cost of remedial rhinoplasty! I say it's her fault for keeping rye in her pockets - of course that's going to attract garden birds. She's blaming us because we have a blackbird trap in the garden (DH has a weird fondness for blackbird pie confused ). Who is BU?

wrinkleseverywhere Fri 16-Jun-17 23:38:50

We have a turtle who the DC called Tim (DD was 2.4yo at the time and into alliteration). The turtle somehow got into the bath tonight, ate up all the soap and now he can't stop burping. I didn't know turtles could burp but he must have bubbles in his throat.
Should I call the vet?

Asmoto Fri 16-Jun-17 23:47:41

Can anyone recommend a good OLD site for agricultural workers? I am seeking marriage (and hopefully children) rather than a short-term relationship, and my future wife must like dogs. TIA smile

HerRoyalFattyness Fri 16-Jun-17 23:52:57

My dad has a doll who seems to be running a temp and crying. confused should I call the doctor to come quick? or do I need an exorcist

HerRoyalFattyness Fri 16-Jun-17 23:53:16

dd not dad

GallicosCats Fri 16-Jun-17 23:54:18

AIBU to think that decapitation is an utterly barbaric punishment for a five-farthing debt? To say nothing of the cost of bringing the case to the Old Bailey. Come on, we all know an 18th century Shoreditch resident is never going to pay the money back. Can't we just write the trivial debt off and stop wasting our money with pointless legal cases?

HerRoyalFattyness Fri 16-Jun-17 23:56:09

Aibu to think there's something wrong with my kids?
We were rowing our boat gently down the stream, we saw a crocodile, but the kids forgot to scream. What do I do?

Asmoto Fri 16-Jun-17 23:58:45

DS being paid well below minimum wage

My DS, J. has recently found part-time work as a see-saw attendant, but the wage is completely ridiculous - 1p a day! He took it up with his boss, but was told he just wasn't working quickly enough sad. Any suggestions as to how we can take this forward?

MaudAndOtherPoems Sat 17-Jun-17 00:01:52


There seems to be a small rodent infestation in the house, although only in the antique timepiece and only at certain times of day, usually around lunchtime.

Should I set humane traps or ring for vermin control?

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