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Quick question for SAHMs

(70 Posts)
ShoesHaveSouls Fri 21-Apr-17 18:08:18

If your DH went out straight from work, to the pub, and got back home after 11pm - would you cook him some dinner?

Would it be unreasonable to ask him to grab a bite to eat in the pub/on the way home?

MissClarke86 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:09:31

Id presume he was sorting his own dinner if he was going to be out beyond about 8. So would he, he'd be starving!

Lovelongweekends Fri 21-Apr-17 18:09:37

Not a chance (I'd have been in bed for two hours by then!!).
I'd either leave him something to heat up or tell him to grab something out.

Raredays Fri 21-Apr-17 18:13:15


Depends, I'd keep something for him to heat up when he got home.

However, if he was out a lot/most nights/several times a week and it was his thing, then no, I'd get him to sort himself out.

KP86 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:14:08

I certainly wouldn't be making him a fresh meal at 11pm! But if I had made a meal that allowed leftovers then he could reheat.

But my DH would have eaten while out or on the way home.

CakeNinja Fri 21-Apr-17 18:14:19

Not a SAHM any more but was for over 10 years.
Every Thursday, dp goes to the pub straight from work to play pool/watch football/catch up with friends etc. Has done ever since I met him.
I cooked for the DC and if I was making something like a boeuf bourgignon/chilli/bolognaise etc, there would be leftovers for him.
If I was doing something quick and lazy, pasta pesto, salmon with pots and veg, burgers or something, then I wouldn't, as those things aren't very nice heated up later.
So it depended on what I was making, but he was never a priority and he never counted on there being anything for him. Just a bonus if there was.

SquatBetty Fri 21-Apr-17 18:15:06

I'd definitely save him something to heat up or he could get food while he was out. No way in hell would I be cooking for him at 11pm.

ChocolateSherberts2017 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:16:16

No but I'd expect him to eat dinner before going to the pub because he wouldn't be in a fit state to eat afterwards.

MurielsBottom Fri 21-Apr-17 18:16:24

As a sahm I usually cook for all of us. If she is going to be late than I plate his meal up for him to reheat. He wouldn't expect me to get up and start cooking at that time of night.

MoMandaS Fri 21-Apr-17 18:16:34

No and no. Unless there was a particular reason why he hadn't been able to eat while out /on way home and I felt sufficiently sorry for him. Tbh, if my DH had been drinking all that time he'd just want to collapse into bed anyway.

Aderyn2016 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:16:34

No I wouldn't.
I am a sahm, not staff

Mooloolabasmummy Fri 21-Apr-17 18:16:50

If he wanted something I would put it to one side for him to heat up but I wouldn't be cooking fresh at that time of night and he definitely wouldn't expect me to thankfully!

upperlimit Fri 21-Apr-17 18:17:52

No way, I'd be putting my order in for chips to bring home with whatever take-away place took his fancy on the way home.

Not a SAHM right now, but the above still stands.

kingscrossnoodle Fri 21-Apr-17 18:18:01

I don't understand the relevance of being a SAHM confused

Your OH has gone out after work, will be home late. He either eats out, grabs a kebab on the way home or you leave his on a plate to microwave when he gets it.

MiltopMighty Fri 21-Apr-17 18:19:19

No and he wouldn't expect it, he would just eat out.

MrsPear Fri 21-Apr-17 18:20:18

Now h is not white English and in his culture the woman would be expected to wait for husband to come home and cook a fresh meal if he so demands. Whereas being white and English I say fuck that and go to bed as usual. I just leave a meal he can nuck if I am feeling kind. My mil hmm about this but hey ho.

MirriMazDuur Fri 21-Apr-17 18:20:47

No because there's no way he'd want to wait until that late to eat so I'd delight in having beans on toast for a change and him getting his own.

No fucking way on earth I'd make him anything at that time of night if that's what you mean.

SnapCrackleOutOfIt Fri 21-Apr-17 18:22:11

He can have leftovers or sort himself out - usually an omelette

FunkinEll Fri 21-Apr-17 18:23:14

No I wouldn't, he's a grown up and able to feed himself. I'm not his slave despite some options being that that's what being a SAHM entail. He works, I look after our children while he does so. We take it in turns to cook our dinner (later than the kids dinner which I cook). If I worked and he worked then we'd still take it in turns.

He usually grabs food on the way home if he hasn't eaten in the pub. Same for me if I go out:

Aderyn2016 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:24:12

Kings, the OP thinks that being a sahm is relevant because we live in a world where sah has no social value and therefore for many it equates to being a skivvy. As if you have to earn your keep by waiting on the man who goes out to work, and who therefore has social status!

farfarawayfromhome Fri 21-Apr-17 18:25:35

I'm a working mum and would have been in bed for hours by then. If I had cooked there would be left overs but if not tough shit.

Not sure of the relevance of working or not?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 21-Apr-17 18:26:29

No I wouldn't. He'd be very happy to eat out, or do something when he got in.

ScarlettFreestone Fri 21-Apr-17 18:27:08

I agree with King I'm not sure of the relevance of being a SAHM to the question.

I've been both and my answer is the same whether working or not.

If I'm cooking, I'd expect my DH to let me know in advance whether he'd be home for dinner or not. If prearranged I'd quite happily set aside a plate for him to heat up.

If the question is, would you, without prior arrangement, leap up and make a meal at 11pm at night for your (drunken?) DH, then the answer is no.

I'm his wife, not room service.

My DH would either eat out, pick up a takeaway or make himself an omelette in those circumstances.

ScarlettFreestone Fri 21-Apr-17 18:27:59

I hope that you laughed in his face if your OH asked you this?

witsender Fri 21-Apr-17 18:30:51

Nope. If he was hoping to eat he would ask, and I would say whether the dinner I have with the kids will be suitable to be saved or not. If it is, then I would put aside a portion for him to eat when he gets home.

If it wouldn't re-heat then I'd say so and he would sort himself out, either eating out or finding something when he gets home

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