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Away on Holiday Tomorrow and No one Wants to Go!

(44 Posts)
Noofly Fri 14-Apr-17 19:43:53

We're off to Russia tomorrow- I've spent the past year planning it and have all sorts of cool things for DC to do/see. At first everyone seemed OK with the idea, but over the past 12 months this gradually changed until all they have been doing is moan and moan and moan that they (DH, DS14, DD11) don't want to go. Today no one can "get into the mood" and "why aren't we going somewhere hot?" (have never gone anywhere hot in April).

Honestly, they are driving me nuts. I even offered to cancel the holiday in January before we started the visa process, but no, everyone said they were OK going and DH promised to stop being so negative. I said again this week that I'd be fine if DH and DD stayed home and I just took DS as he is the least negative and I think will have fun once there. No- DH wouldn't consider that, so the moaning goes on and on and on...

Has anyone else dragged family member(s) on holiday and how did it turn out?

TheStoic Fri 14-Apr-17 19:46:51

All I can say is...don't let it ruin your trip. Leave them to their moaning. Do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

Don't soak up their emotions. Easier said than done, I know.

elQuintoConyo Fri 14-Apr-17 19:50:18

"Give it a fucking rest! Cheer the fuck up or fuck the fuck off".

Then go have fun with your DS.

Birdsgottaf1y Fri 14-Apr-17 19:55:20

If it carries on then you leave DH with them to stew in their own miserableness and make sure that you still enjoy yourself.

My DD was a nightmare at 14, nothing made her happy, even when we took a mate along.

Branleuse Fri 14-Apr-17 20:00:46

tell them that youre serious, if noone else wants to go, then say it before you set off, or forever hold their peace.

I feel for you OP, that sounds really infuriating, and must dampen your own excitement somewhat. They shouldnt do that to you.

Theresnonamesleft Fri 14-Apr-17 20:07:24

Do you keep mentioning it? Just wondering because of the over the past year it's gradually changed

Noofly Fri 14-Apr-17 20:17:20

Theresnonamesleft I've mentioned it as I've booked things and have found what I think will be fun things for DC (e.g. exhibition centre with virtual reality games and robots that can do Rubix cubes, dog robot etc). I'm trying to stay away from too much culture-like stuff as DC have a limited tolerance for art museums and the like.

I think the problem started when MIL told us that Russia is notoriously difficult to get around on your own hmm so we must hire a tour guide. I'm not which caused an argument with MIL. That immediately put DH off which put DD off (she'd been apathetic but switched to negative) and DS (had been excited, changed his mind, but I suspect he's following his father's lead). DH then started saying he didn't want to go because it is full of Russians hmm and I'm just left thinking for God's sake, don't come or be quiet!

I said again last night to DH that he didn't have to go but he said he was going but didn't want to talk about it. I do think I will just leave them in the hotel or apartment if they give me any grief while there and do my own thing, or with DS!

Stripyhoglets Fri 14-Apr-17 20:17:36

Oh god my lot moan sometimes when we are getting ready to go away. I want to travel without them these days tbh

FourToTheFloor Fri 14-Apr-17 20:20:47

Russia full of Russians? ? shock That is the funniest, and stupidest, comment! grin

cakesandphotos Fri 14-Apr-17 20:25:27

Are you going to Moscow? If so, it's very easy to get around. Get a metro map that has the stations written on phonetically as well as in the Cyrillic and your away! I'm jealous. I lived in Russia for a year at uni, I'd love to go back!

EweAreHere Fri 14-Apr-17 20:31:17

Tell them they can sit in their hotel rooms and be bored while you're off seeing the sights if they can't pull themselves together. They are ridiculous. This is your holiday, too, and you have a right to enjoy it. Negative people can fuck off. Tell them off.

MiladyThesaurus Fri 14-Apr-17 20:35:13

I think that all future holiday planning and organising should be left to your DH. That way you can moan and complain about it all and see how much he likes it. grin

At this point, I'd be very clear that they can stay at home and you'll go on your own and have a great time without them. Or just take your DS. I'd be clear that it wasn't a case that you'd be willing to let them stay but that actually you're no longer willing to let them come because their attitudes are so poor and they'll just ruin it for you.

Noofly Fri 14-Apr-17 20:35:32

I don't think he's ever even met any Russians!

cakes We're flying to Moscow, having a few days there then taking a night train to St Petersburg, having a few days then flying home from St Petersburg. I've even printed off a copy of the Moscow metro in both alphabets just for DH as he has, of course, refused to learn Cyrillic.

joangray38 Fri 14-Apr-17 20:36:36

I loved Moscow, it is a fascinating place, I am only small , would fit in your suit case and would make a great tour guide (don't speak much Russian)

GiraffeorOcelot Fri 14-Apr-17 20:38:51

I have to say I'd have been totally lost in Moscow if we'd not been visiting a friend who lives there. St Petersburg was easier I found but maybe that's because we'd already been in the country a few days.

Definitely download some language apps to your phone before you go.

Have fun. I couldn't help but be amazed to be seeing some of the sights that I had only seen on tv before. Red square, hitches in the Kremlin etc. Even the underground stations are works of art.

ElizabethLemon Fri 14-Apr-17 20:39:45

I remember the last foreign holiday I went on with my mum, I was 16 or 17. I really didn't want to go, didn't want to leave my friends and boyfriend behind. I was miserable and in reality ruined my mums holiday (it was just me and her). I feel really really bad about it now and am quite ashamed of my behaviour. Although the next time she tried to organise something similar I told her straight off that I didn't want to go and the reasons why and she accepted that. If it helps we now holiday together most summers with my family and have a lovely time. Good luck op, I hope you have a great time!

GiraffeorOcelot Fri 14-Apr-17 20:40:29

You're doing pretty much what we did. Moscow is wow and St Petersburg is beautiful. Definitely an experience worth having smile

GiraffeorOcelot Fri 14-Apr-17 20:41:11

My earlier post should have said churches in the kremlin not hitches!

Doyouthinktheysaurus Fri 14-Apr-17 20:42:23

Fancy Russia being full of Russiansgrin That's the kind of comment my 14 year old would come out with!

I'm sure you'll all have a lovely time once you are there, give them the benefit of the doubt. If they are miserable once there, leave them at the accommodation and do your own thing.

What made you choose Russia? Just curious, it's doesn't seem an obvious family holiday choice.

Siberia has always appealed to me after reading a book by a woman who ran around the world, but not with children, I'd leave them at home!

WritingHome Fri 14-Apr-17 20:46:58

Oh Noofly that is so frustrating. My dream is to visit Russia and I am thinking of planning it for next year. I would be SO pissed off in your shoes.

I wonder if it might just be an age thing with the dc? Our dd is 11 now and we recently visited Krakow and she was a right pain at times being 'bored' and 'not interested' in lots of amazing things there. It made me mad especially as she has been lucky enough to travel a lot and has always (till now) been a brilliant adaptable easy going traveller. Even last Oct we brought her to Berlin and she loved it and was great fun there.

When I mention Russia (also the same trip - Moscow and St Petersburg) she is flat out saying she doesn't want to go but can't say why...

I hope they pull themselves together and that you manage to have a nice trip after all.

I am so so so envious!

Noofly Fri 14-Apr-17 20:56:52

Doyouthink I've always wanted to go to Russia. I travelled around most of Eastern Europe back in the 1980s, including three weeks in Poland when it was under martial law (that was an experience!) but never made it to Russia. I thought the children were finally old enough to like this sort of trip. They love London and we went to NYC last April which they also loved- I kind of saw Moscow/St Petersburg as another big city holiday.

I will be up at the crack of dawn so am going to sleep now. Planning on being very cheery tomorrow, even if it annoys them!

WritingHome Fri 14-Apr-17 21:05:10

Have a brilliant trip and please come back and tell us how is was!

SirNiallDementia Fri 14-Apr-17 21:08:10

It sounds like you have planned a fab holiday and your family are being ungrateful sods.

I hope you have a lovely time, if they stay moody just leave them all in the hotel and your husband can deal with the misery while you go and see the sights.

And next year plan your own holiday... for you only!

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry Fri 14-Apr-17 21:15:08

Hope you have an amazing holiday. I am a single parent with an 11 year old with learning needs so any time I suggest city breaks he is just no! I am sure you will all love it when you are there.

HalfCarrot Fri 14-Apr-17 21:50:59

Take meeee I'll be really grateful!

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