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DH will not be wearing a wedding ring

(153 Posts)
somesillytoff Mon 20-Mar-17 20:39:47

NC for this as I know people are going to think I'm a stupid toff (I'm not, promise!).

I need some advice from others whose husbands do not wear a wedding band.

My soon-to-be DH and I think wedding bands for men are awfully naff. Neither of our fathers wore them, and stbDH wears a signet ring on his left pinky finger so would be quite annoying having both rings clink together all day long.

What should we do at our wedding? Do we buy a band for him just for the sake of the ceremony and the exchanging of rings? What did you do?

ImperialBlether Mon 20-Mar-17 20:41:11

When I got married a lot of men didn't wear rings. I just had a ring and he didn't - there was no exchange!

ArriettyClock1 Mon 20-Mar-17 20:41:47

You don't need a ring for the ceremony. Just do the 'with this ring' bit for you - that's pretty common.

My father nor fil wear one, wouldn't have dreamt of it!

BlackHillsofDakota Mon 20-Mar-17 20:42:48

My dh doesn't wear a ring and nor does my dad. At the wedding we just had my ring and he didn't have one even for the ceremony. I don't really remember what the vicar said instead which is terrible really but it was all a bit of a blur grin

LouiseBrooks Mon 20-Mar-17 20:43:02

He doesn't have to have one if he doesn't want to. It's only become common practice in the last few decades.

You don't need to exchange rings either, he can just put you ring on your finger.

sooperdooper Mon 20-Mar-17 20:43:09

You could just use the ring he wears anyway? No rule to say what finger he should wear it on

Ecureuil Mon 20-Mar-17 20:44:17

I know loads of people who don't wear wedding rings... it's not particularly toff like behaviour is it?!
Just do the 'ring' part of the ceremony with your ring.

60sname Mon 20-Mar-17 20:44:53

I wouldn't bother - as him having a ring isn't part of the symbolism for you, there doesn't seem to be much point incorporating it into the ceremony.

The vows allow for this: we had a civil ceremony and were sent three versions of the vows, including where only the woman has a ring, and where neither person does. That is presumably also an optional part of the vows in the Book of Common Prayer etc.

feeona123 Mon 20-Mar-17 20:45:12

There is different wording if there is only one ring...our vicar got it wrong!! But made it funny grin

IDefinitelyWould Mon 20-Mar-17 20:45:42

Dh and I both have wedding rings, we keep them safe in a jewellery box and neither of us wear them. I don't think it's particularly strange.

Bukkaroo Mon 20-Mar-17 20:46:11

My dad has never worn a wedding ring I think it's common for men not to. It won't affect anything at all. Just have a ring for you, no issue.

Swirlingasong Mon 20-Mar-17 20:47:08

My dh doesn't have ring. If it's a church service, there is alternative wording depending on whether there are one or two rings. I presume it is the same for civil ceremonies too. I don 't think anyone buys a ring just for the ceremony.

Laska5772 Mon 20-Mar-17 20:49:33

You dont even have to have ring at all or mention it at the ceremony . we didnt as neither of us have nor wanted rings .. it just makes it a shorter ceremony.,,.
The ring is just custom ..not an essential nor legal part of getting married

Almostthere15 Mon 20-Mar-17 20:50:31

Well for what it's worth I think signet rings are naff but each to their own ;) just let your celebrant know as they'll need to look up the different wording

feelinglikeablueturtle Mon 20-Mar-17 20:52:17

We got a ring for the ceremony. His mother insisted on it and she was driving us mad about it. The ring was way too small. He now has it on a chain he can tuck into his shirt.

Helenluvsrob Mon 20-Mar-17 20:52:44

And? His choice surely.

My dh does , I don't ( as always washing hands at work) . Doesn't make us any less married.

You don't need " tagging " as married - well unless you reside in various Middle East states I understand.

somesillytoff Mon 20-Mar-17 20:53:14

Great! Glad I'm not the only one. Thought we were a dying breed. My female work colleagues were shocked that neither myself or OH wanted him to wear a wedding ring. They were all like "aren't you worried women will think he's unmarried and will hit on him / Don't you want people to know he's taken" hmm

I'll make sure the wording is changed and leave his ring giving bit out smile

Ecureuil Mon 20-Mar-17 20:55:02

I was going to say that too Almostthere15, awful things grin

Nishky Mon 20-Mar-17 20:56:15

Me too almost nowt so naff as a bloke wearing a signet ring

kel1493 Mon 20-Mar-17 21:20:11

If it were me I'd just do the ring part with your ring (if it was good enough for the royals??).
Or if you'd prefer to leave it out then do. Dh could always simply place your ring on in private later in the day instead?
(All men in my family wear rings, as does my dh, so never experienced it personally though)

Butteredparsnip1ps Mon 20-Mar-17 21:21:38

DH broke a bone in his hand 6 weeks after we got married. Full of concern hmm I made him take his ring off to save it from being cut off when the inevitable swelling appeared. That was 23 years ago. The ring never did go back on. grin but we are still together.

I doubt anyone else actually notices.

Crumbs1 Mon 20-Mar-17 21:23:02

Y husband doesn't have a ring. We just used mine.

1stDinkyDecker Mon 20-Mar-17 21:24:04

My DH doesn't wear one, hasn't for the last 30 years, even though he did have one when we got married. Neither do I. It started irritating me when I was pregnant and I never put it back on, so haven't worn one for about 28 years. Never give it a thought really.

maras2 Mon 20-Mar-17 21:25:43

Married 42 years.
No rings.
Either (?neither?) of us.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Mon 20-Mar-17 21:26:02

My soon-to-be DH and I think wedding bands for men are awfully naff

Each to their own. I think the same about men and signet rings wink

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