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Things I never thought I'd need to say

(103 Posts)
TimTamTerrier Thu 16-Feb-17 19:54:29

So many of them, but today I said "When you do your maths test tomorrow, don't glue the pages together." (Yes, he did glue his last test and no, he couldn't explain why.) 😄

Becca83 Thu 16-Feb-17 19:56:09

😂 earlier on I said to dh "has she had a drink in here or have I just stood in a puddle of piss again?"
I have said phrases like this far more than I like recently... fucking nappy free time!

ScarletBegonia1234 Thu 16-Feb-17 19:57:42

"Stop licking nana's photo or I'll take it off you!"

CigarsofthePharoahs Thu 16-Feb-17 20:02:24

What have you done with the storm trooper's head?
I have also had many conversations with ds today about why it is a good idea to have your t-shirt on the right way round. I couldn't convert him to my way of thinking.

Blazedandconfused Thu 16-Feb-17 20:58:35

Is it poo or chocolate?

Let me smell your fingers.

Where's the poo?

There's a definite theme here.

Vanillaradio Thu 16-Feb-17 21:30:30

Don't wave your dinosaur around, he'll fall apart. And don't peel out all the eyes at once (fuzzy felt related.....)

Willow2016 Thu 16-Feb-17 21:50:08

Oh hell I'm sorry ds2 just a minute and I will go and take the dead robin out the moustrap and dispose of it shock I WIN! grin

(WHAT FECKING IDIOTIC BIRD GOES FOR CHEESE IN A MOUSTRAP IN A GARAGE????? WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THE FECKING ROBIN WE WATCHED AT THE BIRD FEEDER AT THE WEEKEND? BASTARD BIRD MY DS WAS SOBBING)

Isadora2007 Thu 16-Feb-17 21:58:00

I once found myself saying "please take Mr Tumble OFF of your willy" when DS was a toddler and had his favourite wee figure off of a CBeebies magazine and kept putting it on his willy during nappy changes!
😳
I also say "please don't do any more backflips" more often than I even expected.

LucyFuckingPevensie Thu 16-Feb-17 21:59:09

"Ok, you can go outside and say goodbye to the cupboard." This was followed by an emotional scene in the front garden as Dt2 said a teary farewell to a cupboard he barely knew. He does have attachment issues with inanimate objects.
"Please don't lick your brother" Dt1 is a licker.
"you can cross streams, but please don't wee on each other " <sighs>

QueenRefusenik Thu 16-Feb-17 21:59:16

No I'm not changing the duvet cover, there's only a little bit of poo on it.

I'm not proud!

ControlGeek Thu 16-Feb-17 21:59:43

FFS Don't lick the baby!

To which DH replied "but she licked me first!"

StarOnTheTree Thu 16-Feb-17 22:02:14

Stop fighting over the lettuce. I'll buy another bag tomorrow grin

GlobalTechIndustries Thu 16-Feb-17 22:03:21

Get scot i thought id only see it in books.

GlobalTechIndustries Thu 16-Feb-17 22:03:54

#great

Feebeela Thu 16-Feb-17 22:05:11

I say "Stop licking X!" a lot too.
"Stop poking your poo in the toilet. I know it floats but leave it alone"
"Why is there paint in your ear AND on your willy?"

FinallyDebtFree Thu 16-Feb-17 22:12:20

DD please remove the piece of Lego from in between your bum cheeks confused

NickyEds Thu 16-Feb-17 22:17:36

'No ds, grandma is coming on Sunday', in and of itself not a very surprising thing to say? I have said it 350 fucking times today.

WheresTheCoffee Thu 16-Feb-17 22:21:00

No poo's in the bath!

building2017 Thu 16-Feb-17 22:22:24

"We don't keep cheese in our pockets."

OSETmum Thu 16-Feb-17 22:27:44

This one's to the kids at school: 'I don't care who's first the worst!'

OSETmum Thu 16-Feb-17 22:29:07

Oh and followed by, "If you must do the rhyme then at least get it right!

NotInMyBackYard1 Thu 16-Feb-17 22:30:02

"we do NOT poo in Thomas" (the tank engine pants) potty training going so well

Meffy Thu 16-Feb-17 22:30:35

Please stop licking your hands... use soap and water like normal people!

Said to the Master at Kuk Sool Won... if you push past me once more I'll kick you're ass!
1. It was a joke
2. I don't do KSW
3. Apparently DH says it's disrespectful to tell this to a Master of his arts

FacelikeaBagofHammers Thu 16-Feb-17 22:31:47

Stop pulling your brother's penis!

INeedAnAlibi Thu 16-Feb-17 22:36:28

Did you fart on my pillow?

Said to DS about an hour ago... he claims he didn't he's obviously lying hmm

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