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Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

(381 Posts)
natalie204 Tue 30-Aug-16 09:49:45

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery Tue 30-Aug-16 16:27:09

Personally I would get your MIL a really elaborate corsage with tons of ribbons and diamante a bit like these homecoming mums wink Then she really will be centre stage.... and look like part of the wedding cake grin

Luluandizzy Tue 30-Aug-16 16:27:49

Her choice of outfit was thoughtless and inappropriate, you rightly so pulled her up on it. It's very off hand to wear a bridal type outfit to another women's wedding.

blitheringbuzzards1234 Tue 30-Aug-16 16:32:15

I don't know if it's regional but in the Midlands I don't think it would be the done thing. Could future MIL throw a pastel coloured/patterned pashmina or suchlike round her shoulders to look less 'bridal'?

Ginkypig Tue 30-Aug-16 16:32:31

Iv only read your replies op but my comment is this.

So what your saying is your husbands mother has bought a wedding dress to wear to her sons wedding.

Obviously she's odd and you can't argue with weird logic like that!

TheABC Tue 30-Aug-16 16:32:49

Both my mother and MIL had perky white numbers with a bit of colour mixed in for my wedding. I thought they looked great -especially as they complemented the completely OTT red wedding dress I had chosen.

It's not necessarily the colour white; more that you are not trying to upstage the bride. OP, only you can know if that is the case or your MIL is simply being obtuse.

hobbisl38 Tue 30-Aug-16 16:34:32

Nope. I've always been told only the bride wears white. Are you sure she's never heard that before? Hmmm

specialsubject Tue 30-Aug-16 16:38:59

I wouldn't be bothered but then I never did get the 'you are wearing the same colour as me' thing.

as long as there isn't the Middleton risk of the bridesmaid making it clear that the bride looks like a toilet roll cover, I wouldn't worry.

and the person who got the cold shoulder from a bride over this - a 'friend' well jettisoned. Lives are available and some women badly need to get one.

TikTakTok Tue 30-Aug-16 16:41:18

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I wouldn't think anyone wearing white looked 'twatty'

I also think the chances of a MIL getting better mistaken for the bride are quite remote. It would be a very peculiar wedding if that was the case.

Still it's much more fun to assume the absolute worse because, I suppose, it is possible, that she is doing it to be a cow.

toldmywrath Tue 30-Aug-16 16:42:32

I cared when my sil (dh's sister) wore a lovely long white dress to our register office wedding! It still rankles all these decades later.

squoosh Tue 30-Aug-16 16:42:54

Well it's certainly an unusual step for a MIL to choose her wedding outfit from Monsoon's bridal wear section!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 30-Aug-16 16:54:23

Only on Mumsnet would there be somebody trying to find a legitimate excuse to wear a white wedding dress to someone else's wedding grin grin

This is a bit like that thread where someone's mum found a rough sleeper in the thread and loads of people were suggesting taking him soup or adoption him as a surrogate son instead of calling the police to have him removed like a normal person.

In real life wearing a white wedding dress unless you are the bride is batshit attention seeking behaviour. White dress at a wedding is ok for most weddings these days if it isn't a bridal style.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 30-Aug-16 16:55:37

Shed not thread. My phone is calibrated to Mumsnet I'm afraid hmm

AndYourBirdCanSing Tue 30-Aug-16 16:58:27

Only on Mumsnet would there be somebody trying to find a legitimate excuse to wear a white wedding dress to someone else's wedding!

How very true! grin

MrsDeVere Tue 30-Aug-16 17:01:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tremble Tue 30-Aug-16 17:01:46

Well done Momoftwoscallywags for being the first to confess to being 'that' guest in white!

I have to admit that despite what most PPs have said, I have genuinely never heard of not wearing white as a wedding guest until reading this post today. And I've done it three times that I can recall.

As a cousin of the bride, friend of the bride and SIL of the bride and had no idea I was doing anything wrong. At SIL's one, a relative did say to me "Why are you wearing white? You're not the bride", but I thought she was just being snide (other issues), not giving me etiquette advice.

In my defence, none of the dresses were floor-length, all button-up shirt dresses (80s/90s) and all accessorised with colours; green (double jeopardy!), pink, then yellow. And apart from jeans, I practically always wore white in those days so it hopefully didn't look like I was being a bitch, but just being me. I've also worn white to a funeral where the deceased had specified "no black".

I will now have to go back to these three brides and ask if it bothered them that I wore white, although I suspect they won't even remember now, especially as they are all divorced. Will apologise if required. blush

An actual wedding dress is a different thing altogther OP. If she does go ahead with it then I do hope you can see the silly side of it in later years and not hold a grudge - life is too short.

herecomesthsun Tue 30-Aug-16 17:05:46

I have not heard of the "no floor length rule", I would have thought that non-white maxi dresses would be ok.

bearleftmonkeyright Tue 30-Aug-16 17:07:11

Can we make more use of this etiquette topic? It doesn't get an airing on mumsnet nearly enough. Just think of all the future MILs mumsnet will have saved from accidentally turning up to their offsprings wedding in a an actual wedding dress.

squoosh Tue 30-Aug-16 17:08:00

You see lot of full length gowns on wedding guests these days. Personally I think it looks a bit OTT for during the day but that's just my personal taste.

Lordamighty Tue 30-Aug-16 17:13:58

I can't believe anyone would be happy at their future MIL turning up in a bridal gown to their wedding. It doesn't make the OP a bridezilla, someone needs to stop the MIL from making a complete fool of herself.

squoosh Tue 30-Aug-16 17:15:48

MIL could turn up in the honeymoon suite clad in nothing but a negligee and some people would find that acceptable! wink

AmyC86 Tue 30-Aug-16 17:17:32

When I got married, both MIL & My Mum had cream/white within their outfit, but they cleared it with me first.

MIL had a white/lightest of pink blush jacket on over a purple and white/ ligjtest of pink blush micro polka dot dress. Accessorised with purple hat & nude handbag and shoes.

Mum had a white and navy jacket over a plain navy shift dress. Navy and white accessories.

They both complimented each other and complimented my burnt orange, ivory and gold theme.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 30-Aug-16 17:19:28

...singing "It should have been me" Squoosh.

And there would still be some fucker saying the op was being unreasonable to be at all perturbed.

Ohsofat Tue 30-Aug-16 17:19:30

I'd never heard of this until a couple of years ago, so is it a new thing??

Wouldn't bother me, everyone knows you're the bride and will be looking at you, so let your guests wear what they want.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Tue 30-Aug-16 17:20:24

I think it's always been a thing not to dress like a bride unless you are the bride. Forever and ever and ever.

squoosh Tue 30-Aug-16 17:20:50

...singing "It should have been me" Squoosh.


StepAwayFromTheThesaurus Tue 30-Aug-16 17:29:11

...singing "It should have been me" squoosh.

And there would still be some fucker saying the op was being unreasonable to be at all perturbed

Well obviously the bride would be rude to tell her MIL to fuck off because it's so easy not to realise that the bride and groom traditionally spend their wedding night together alone. After all, it is her little boy and might be her last chance to tuck him in at night. It would be churlish for a bride to deny her MIL that.

Is that the kind of bullshit explanation you were looking for?

woodhill Tue 30-Aug-16 17:29:49

Most odd and inappropriate especially a long dress.

Strangely enough we were having this discussion at the weekend when dsm was wearing a white and black patterned trouser suit. She planned to wear it to my dds wedding but didn't as my df told her not to a. Wear trousers (that doesn't bother me) or b. wear white. She had never heard of this but maybe it is because wearing white is a church tradition?

GarlicMistake Tue 30-Aug-16 17:31:24

GarlicMistake did you miss the part where the MIL has bought an actual wedding dress

OMG, yes I did! I thought the Monsoon bridal post was a joke!

Okaaaay ... good luck with your future extended family, OP shock

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus Tue 30-Aug-16 17:32:12

Even if you haven't heard about avoiding white, everyone knows that it's not ok to wear a bloody wedding dress to someone else's wedding. Literally everyone.

passportmess Tue 30-Aug-16 17:35:26

My own mother bought a wedding outfit which was the same colour as my white wedding dress. My dress was slim fitted so wasn't distinctly bridal. Apparently they had it in green but she wouldn't get as much wear out of it. She said when she came home with it 'oh I said to the women in the shop that there would be war when I got home' hmm I did say that it wasn't really the done thing but she persisted and I didn't want a row. My mother has a long history of narcissistic behaviour.

CotswoldStrife Tue 30-Aug-16 17:37:35

I knew about not wearing white, and I wouldn't even wear cream tbh.

Good luck for Friday, hope it goes well.

Lifegavemelemons Tue 30-Aug-16 17:40:44

I don't think it's a church thing woodhill My family are pretty religious - the only family scandal involved a couple "not really married" in the eyes of my Dgm as it hadn't been in church. I had never heard the "no white or cream" rule until I read MN in my late 50's. I seem to have survived without pissing off any of my relatives ... I def wore cream to a niece's wedding, and a work colleagues .... Either I've simply been oblivious or it's not always been a universal "rule"

Wearing an actual wedding dress is a bit blush though ....

sophiestew Tue 30-Aug-16 17:42:50

Well it's certainly an unusual step for a MIL to choose her wedding outfit from Monsoon's bridal wear section!


What is she going to say when people ask her if she is also getting married? Is it a joint ceremony? grin

Who on earth wears a wedding dress to someone elses wedding????!!!!

I say let your family have their fill OP. Hope it all goes well for you flowers

diddl Tue 30-Aug-16 17:46:46

"Well it's certainly an unusual step for a MIL to choose her wedding outfit from Monsoon's bridal wear section!"

The "don't wear white" kind of pales into insignificance by comparison!

MyNightWithMaud Tue 30-Aug-16 17:47:28

Has your future MIL got Miss Havisham ishoos?

brandyandsummergloves Tue 30-Aug-16 17:47:55

Aargh I'm going to a friends evening reception soon and had planned on wearing a cream knee length dress. I can't really afford a new dress (and I like this one). Will people be talking about me behind my back do you think?

VenusRising Tue 30-Aug-16 17:54:04

So long as she doesn't try and elbow you out of all the photos with her own ikkle darling boy OP!

And no tongues when kissing, watch her like a hawk. grin

Freud would indeed love this long thread! Phnear.

Moomintoes Tue 30-Aug-16 18:01:22

Haha omg this is totally something that my MIL would do just to annoy me. Why would anyone wear a bridal dress to someone else's wedding? Hope you have a lovely day anyway!

BerylStreep Tue 30-Aug-16 18:02:30

Naomi Campbell wore a full length white gown as a guest to a wedding.

I suppose it could be worse, Racquel Welch could have been your future MIL!

Horsegirl1 Tue 30-Aug-16 18:04:58

Yanbu she is way out of line. Why anyone would wear a floor length white gown as a guest at a wedding is beyond me. Sounds like she wants the attention to be on her to be honest

Lweji Tue 30-Aug-16 18:08:35

Naomi's was not a white dress. It was mainly light blue with flowers!

And in Raquel's case, someone had to be glamorous, because the bride looked positively drab!

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 18:09:47

Mother of the groom must be very tricky. You mustn't upstage the bride, you know mother if the bride will have gone all out and you have to look presentable next to her. At the same time, you son's wedding must be quite tough, even if you are a well adjusted, ready to let go sort love did to bits. Like your youngest going to school with knobs on and it kind if marks the end of youth, your now the next generation up iyswim. Plus everyone's looking for slights to the bride, too much and you've upstaged her but not making enough effort is wrong too.

A white gown is obviously madness but it must be hard to get it right.

LubiLooLoo Tue 30-Aug-16 18:10:29

My MIL original outfit for our wedding was white, but SIL nipped that in the bud for me!

No it's not the done thing. No one wears all white but the bride! I wouldn't personally mind, but I think your MIL WOULD mind when people are commenting behind her back at the wedding!

LubiLooLoo Tue 30-Aug-16 18:14:04

Maybe get someone in her side of the family to tell her!

So you don't look like the bridezilla and the blow is a little softer and less embarrassing for you both xx

TriniRedVelvet Tue 30-Aug-16 18:23:10

Look here, not knowing that rule is one thing. Picking a bridal dress from the bridal range is very deliberate and passive-aggressive. I wouldn't be concerned about being rude to such a person. Let her wear it if she wants. The only one who will come off looking badly is her.

woodhill Tue 30-Aug-16 18:36:29

Also hasn't she got an old face itms so it will look odd.

GarlicMistake Tue 30-Aug-16 18:40:31

XH2's "close friend" wore a long, floaty white number to our wedding. Everyone did notice, and I should think she did have an agenda! Not that it mattered, she simply showed herself up for the prat she is.

I think I'd have just fallen around laughing if she'd worn an actual wedding dress.

TriniRedVelvet Tue 30-Aug-16 18:43:03

And I'd be a tad concerned about what I'm marrying into.hmm Good luck. flowers

PenelopePitstop24 Tue 30-Aug-16 18:57:28

It's a no from me - where I'm from that would be considered inappropriate. I would be confused why she'd done that if it were me

MiaowJario Tue 30-Aug-16 18:59:16

She's obviously a total loon. But she has also made it totally obvious that she is a total loon. If she gives you any grief in the future, everyone who attended your wedding (or even saw the photos) will instantly know what you mean as soon as you mention anything, and what's more, they will instantly be on your side.

sleeponeday Tue 30-Aug-16 19:54:32

Nobody turns up in a wedding dress to someone else's wedding by accident.

Are there other issues? There is presumably a back story to this nuttiness?

PenelopePitstop24 Tue 30-Aug-16 20:07:42

The film "monster in law" springs to mind here!!!!!

PuntCuffin Tue 30-Aug-16 20:13:40

I can think of one occasion when much younger that I inadvertently broke this rule that I did not know about. It was a 20's themed wedding. I was a student and couldn't afford a new outfit but I did have an ivory faux silk 20's/flapper style evening dress from a uni party. In my defence, I had a plum coloured jacket and scarf over it until the dancing started.

GrandMarmoset Tue 30-Aug-16 20:20:22

Outrageous. She will make a dreadful fool of herself.

theelectricmichaelangelo Tue 30-Aug-16 21:01:55

I have heard of the rule but I think it's a silly rule personally - people should be able to wear what they like! Rules can be broken!

What's important here is the intention - if she was shocked then maybe that was because she sincerely didn't know the silly wedding etiquette rule and was hoping for a more positive response from you on what appears to be a beautiful dress and jacket. Perhaps your approval actually means something to her? She showed you in advance after all!
Then when you made your comment she now feels awkward. Perhaps she hadn't intended to offend or upset you.

I would just have an honest conversation with her, tell her it's a beautiful dress and you think she will look stunning in it and you hope your comment didn't make her feel bad - it's just you had been brought up with a specific tradition.

It's not as if it's an ex girlfriend and even if it was then why be so insecure when it's you that's marrying him. And the guests know that too.

And as for saying your family will make comments- well that's a great way to escalate things even more! So go right ahead if you'd like a full on family feud that lasts for years if you like all over a silly outfit at a wedding.

If you really think she is doing this to upstage you and hasn't taken to you- well perhaps you could respond with the opposite in kind- ie just be totally lovely and graceful and caring. You never know- she might then react differently herself.

GirlOutNumbered Tue 30-Aug-16 21:03:49

I had never heard of it and I wore a very short, tight white dress to a friends wedding. No one actually said anything, but I just felt stupid being in a white dress. Never again!

smileygrapefruit Tue 30-Aug-16 21:09:39

Sorry, haven't rtft but my mil wore HER WEDDING DRESS to our wedding! (Her 2nd wedding, informal affair, knee length dress but most definitely white and most definitely what she wore for her wedding) Now that was weird!

user7755 Tue 30-Aug-16 21:24:03

You win the thread Smiley star

smileygrapefruit Tue 30-Aug-16 21:26:45

Haha user sorry I should probably have started a new thread with that gem wink

TwistNshout Tue 30-Aug-16 21:31:23

Definite no! As a guest, my first assumption would be that she was deliberately trying to upstage the bride in that outfit. No sane MIL would think that outfit appropriate.

sleeponeday Tue 30-Aug-16 22:04:41

Oh wow, Smiley shock I thought FIL took the biscuit when he re-used the wedding ring from his ended-in-divorce marriage to my MIL to marry his lovely GF recently. But yours is worse, in the marital oddness stakes.

LollipopLover Tue 30-Aug-16 22:18:41

Can i just ask OP would you have been as miffed if your OWN mother had chosen this outfit?
Is it because it is his mother?
I do think in the grand scheme of things you really do need to pick your battles lovey...your getting married!!! If you think mil would understand you could try explaining why you feel like you do and suggest you maybe go shopping together for sone colourful accessories....
If not i would definitely have a quiet word in your familys ear you don't want anyone to feel awkward on your big day,remember it is a huge day for her and your mum too they are both seeing you 'fly the coop' be gentle xsmile

LassWiTheDelicateAir Wed 31-Aug-16 01:38:23

Sorry, haven't rtft but my mil wore HER WEDDING DRESS to our wedding! (Her 2nd wedding, informal affair, knee length dress but most definitely white and most definitely what she wore for her wedding) Now that was weird!

Why? Assuming it wasn't the full blown meringue and veil affair what on earth is the big deal about wearing a white knee length dress ?

I'm guessing it was probably expensive and she felt good in it. Why is that a big drama?

It used to be normal to re-wear wedding dresses. If you were rich you had it remodelled as the ball gown for the first year of your marriage (see Edith Wharton's The Age of Innocence) for ordinary people it became your best dress.

The wear once only meringue is a 20th century phenomenon.

I wore a black velvet dress which I wore afterwards.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Wed 31-Aug-16 01:40:40

*as long as there isn't the Middleton risk of the bridesmaid making it clear that the bride looks like a toilet roll cover, I wouldn't worry*grin

diddl Wed 31-Aug-16 09:15:04

I'm with Lass, I also couldn't see the big deal in MIL wearing that dress again.

woowoowoo Wed 31-Aug-16 12:35:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh Wed 31-Aug-16 12:39:37

I'm with Lass, I also couldn't see the big deal in MIL wearing that dress again.

I think it depends.

If it's a dress that she's used several times For Best over the years that's okay. If her son's wedding is the first outing this dress has seen since her own wedding, well that's weird as fuck quite frankly.

HouseworkIsASin10 Wed 31-Aug-16 15:42:28

It's on the Daily Fail hmm

Mummyoflittledragon Wed 31-Aug-16 15:44:14

Only to be expected. Tomorrows Wright stuff perhaps?

clam Wed 31-Aug-16 16:21:53

Fucking Daily Mail. Again!!!!
Do their "reporters" ever do their own fucking research?

smileygrapefruit Wed 31-Aug-16 16:22:59

Yes squoosh, it was it's only other outing. I fail to see how it's not slightly strange however, like I said, didn't really bother me on the day.

bearleftmonkeyright Wed 31-Aug-16 16:24:54

( . ) ( . )

<Flashes tits at Daily Mail>

incognitomode Wed 31-Aug-16 16:28:30

No no, it is flaunting tits if it is the daily mail.

bearleftmonkeyright Wed 31-Aug-16 16:30:03

Thank goodness for the etiquette topic grin it's always good to know when to flaunt and when to flash.

Lweji Wed 31-Aug-16 16:43:04

I'd expect the DM readers to be more upset if you flash a burka.

Fanjolena Wed 31-Aug-16 16:59:39

One of the commenters on the daily mail says her mother in law turned up at the airport for her honeymoon! I think OP is getting off lightly in comparison confused

LineyReborn Wed 31-Aug-16 17:07:18

The women in my family only wear the following colours to weddings.

Pale lime green

Frankly, white and ivory would be a blessed release.

Postchildrenpregranny Wed 31-Aug-16 17:26:19

Defintely not 'done' in the circles I move in .Indeed one DD asked me anxiously recently if she could wear a very pretty white but patterned with splashes of colour dress to a friend's wedding. Its obviously not just a generational thing .

sonjachall Wed 31-Aug-16 17:33:04

I do wish threads on this forum weren't always so damning. It makes me sad that people get soooooo opinionated rather than gently, or diplomatically expressing themselves. I don't see the suggestion of bridezilla or rudeness as reasonable about you OP. I would have been more than peeved if my MIL had done the same, and I certainly didn't qualify as a bridezilla. It is bad etiquette, and if your family end up mentioning the same to her on the day, she kind of had it coming. You have given her fair warning that she's 'innocently' made a faux pas, if she goes ahead on the day, she must have pretty thick skin. I'm with an earlier poster re the likelihood of your MIL having already decided to return the outfit for something more appropriate and less attention-grabbing. Many congratulations on your impending nuptials. I hope you'll both be very happy together.

Tapandgo Wed 31-Aug-16 17:39:28

I'm sure she meant no offence and just chose what suited her. Not everybody knows these 'customs' or observes them. ( though wearing a full length white dress might look a tad odd!)
It would be unnecessary for your family to say something on the day to her - that would be deliberately hurtful - and what would be gained from it?

squoosh Wed 31-Aug-16 17:40:24

I'm sure she meant no offence and just chose what suited her.

And she just happened to suit a wedding dress! grin

Scarriff Wed 31-Aug-16 17:41:07

My daughter has just got married. I wore a cream silk jacket over a white summer dress with a blue flower on the front. Umremarkable. My friend wore a white fifties type dress to her daughter's wedding. Again unremarkable. We are Londoners if that makes a difference. At my own wedding a guest wore her own wedding dress (not white but beautiful) We thought she looked pretty. Don't make so much of your mil's choices is my advice.

CotswoldStrife Wed 31-Aug-16 17:42:47

It's on the Daily Fail

FFS, well let's not cancel the cheque they send us all for our journalistic skillz.

Tapandgo Wed 31-Aug-16 17:48:55

Squoosh - but it's not a wedding dress.
The custom has been 'the bride wears white' but so many don't anymore - customs come and go.
Unless she is a nut ( and surely that would have come to light before) she has just 'put her foot in it'. Either way - nothing to spoil the wedding over - surely?

Tapandgo Wed 31-Aug-16 17:51:05

My friend has just told me she went to a Black and White wedding last year, and said it was the easiest colours to find outfits in - and importantly - made it easier to wear them again. No - the women did not all look like brides!

squoosh Wed 31-Aug-16 17:51:15

The dress is from Monsoon's bridal range!

A white dress is no big deal, but deliberately buying an actual wedding dress. That's so wackadoodle. But kind of amusing really.

Flum Wed 31-Aug-16 18:00:36

I woudl agree it is not really the done thing to wear white to a wedding, but it is equally not the done thing for your family to point it out to her at the wedding! 😮😮.

Since this is hopefully the beginning of a beautiful new DIL/MIL relationship I would say that I think the dress looks gorgeous and she will look lovely in it. And I would leave it precisely there and move on to things you can have an affect over without upsetting anyone.

ClashCityRocker Wed 31-Aug-16 18:05:45

A white or cream dress that could in no way be mistaken for a bridal dress - fine.

A white or cream full-length dress bought from a bridal collection? Dodgy territory there, I think.

Mind you, I inadvertently turned up in a dress that was very very similar to the bridesmaid dresses - they had plain knee length lemon dresses, mine was the same except slightly shorter. I was at the back in all the photos. The bride saw the funny side though but I did feel a bit awkward.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall Wed 31-Aug-16 18:20:20

The OP posted yesterday morning and has not been back.

Randytortoise Wed 31-Aug-16 18:24:35

She did say she wouldn't be back until after the wedding.

Ninasimoneinthemorning Wed 31-Aug-16 18:24:43

There is always one!

I went to a wedding where the mother and Father walked the bride down the isle (seperated) The mother had a bloody gown with train on it. Even the bride didn't have a train!

It was a shame actually as more people were commenting on that thsn looking at the bride!

Cozytoesandtoast00 Wed 31-Aug-16 18:24:53

I think it's fine.
Infact, it would be impolite to mention it in my view. Poor lady.

UnderseaPineapple Wed 31-Aug-16 18:33:48

AllPizzas, the OP has posted on the thread saying she wouldn't have time between now and her wedding day to come back to the thread.

I wish people would RTFT properly.

And why do people think its okay to wear a fucking wedding dress to a wedding?

MeMySonandl Wed 31-Aug-16 18:44:50

My SIL showed in a white dress to my wedding, I didn't even notice until people started pointing out how "disgraceful" it was from her when looking at the photos. I don't know if anyone said anything to her, or they just mentioned to me as they know how mean she was towards me.

Anyhow, 2 months later someone else in the family married, since nobody seemed particularly bothered about wedding etiquette and we were skint after our wedding- we were moving countries on that weekendI went to the wedding with a 2 piece trouser set in cream. The bride made a big fuss about how happy she was to see me, just before my SIL pointed out that I shouldn't wear cream in Autumn and the friends of the bride made sure I knew how bloody inalropriate my outfit was. It certainly ruined the night for me.

So the moral of the story is, if you had not made her uncomfortable about it, somebody else would have made sure she was and at the time of the wedding. So at least she would be ok now if she doesn't wear white BUT I think you need to apologise to her, otherwise she will never forget your comment.

EttaJ Wed 31-Aug-16 18:57:18

I simply refuse to believe that so many people haven't heard of the never wear white to a wedding thing. BS.

All of you saying it's fine. Of course you'd have all been happy with someone else rocking up at your wedding in a fucking wedding dress.

People saying it would be rude to tell MIL on the day?! It's rude, not to mention totally freakish, to wear a wedding dress to your sons bloody wedding. Jesus wept.

Lordamighty Wed 31-Aug-16 19:27:06

Some strange responses, why would the bride need to apologise to her future MIl who intends to wear an actual wedding dress to her son's wedding? The bride is doing her a favour by pointing her faux pas out & preventing her from looking like a complete fool.

Cozytoesandtoast00 Wed 31-Aug-16 19:30:48

Of course it's fine unless the world revolves and you and your wedding!
One of my best friends asked me on my wedding day whether it was ok to wear cream. Of course it was. Its was a wedding not the queens bloody coronation day!

Mummyoflittledragon Wed 31-Aug-16 19:31:27

Meandmy. I don't see the issue with a cream trouser number. It's so clearly not a wedding dress. I probably wouldn't wear one for an older bride or a registry office in case.

EttaJ Wed 31-Aug-16 19:42:09

cozy she is wearing a fucking wedding dress to a wedding that is not hers ffs. i think some posters are deliberately awkward.

Daydream007 Wed 31-Aug-16 19:49:35

Not the done thing for a guest to wear all white (especially floor length) to a wedding. Has she lived a sheltered life perhaps?

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