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Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

(381 Posts)
natalie204 Tue 30-Aug-16 09:49:45

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

MoreCakePleaseMrs Tue 30-Aug-16 10:37:22

Quite possibly noahvale haha. I just always thought it was a thing. Every wedding I've been too the only person wearing white etc was the bride and it has always been considered very rude.
I've text her to say I hopey comment didn't put her off the outfit etc. And I'll tell my family to be quiet about it.
The dress will be fine as it can pass as evening (as long as she takes the monsoon bridal tag off haha)
Thanks for all your comments, I just wanted to get a feeling if it's 'not the done thing'
I get married on Friday. So it's a bit late to worry now.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:38:11

I don't think anyone thinks it's ok to wear a wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

I'm just really shocked at some of the comments on here - for the OP to spill something on the MIL's dress, that the MIL is saying a big "fuck off" to the bride, to encourage other guests to say something on the day. Why on earth can't this being sorted out in a mature way?

And still wondering why the OP has NC'd half-way through the thread.

Cherrysoup Tue 30-Aug-16 10:38:11

Full length white is taking the piss, sorry.

Jayfee Tue 30-Aug-16 10:38:25

I went to a wedding last week and mother of bride was in a white brocade 2 piece and looked lovely. Not sure about full length although your mil might have a leg complex and want to cover them (long shot!) If you are going to go for tradition, only virgns were supposed to wear white as white symbolises purity. I think you might be getting tooooo tense about the whole thing. Celebrate your love for partner friends and family.

HouseworkIsASin10 Tue 30-Aug-16 10:38:34

It will be more embarrassing for her, not you.
At a wedding one guest was trying to upstage the bridge by wearing a white lace dress (she truly is a 'look at me' type) and people still talk about it to this day how silly and self centred she looked. We were embarrassed for her.

AmserGwin Tue 30-Aug-16 10:39:38

From the bridal range? Wow, how rude, I hope she has the decency not to wear it. YANBU

Goingtobeawesome Tue 30-Aug-16 10:40:40

At 21 I wore white to a wedding as it didn't realise until after I'd bought it. Rang my friend in a panic and she said its fine, wear it.

MIL wore cream at mine. I wasn't happy but happy to be marrying DH so let it go but years later it was just the start of little digs. Twin trains bought for my sons birthday when his twin had died and I'm not allowed to talk about him

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:41:22

people still talk about it to this day how silly and self centred she looked

Some people should get out more.

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 10:41:44

Yes, an actual weeding dress is nuts.

TitaniasTits Tue 30-Aug-16 10:41:56

Utter bollocks that she didn't know. Of course she did, and her frostiness was due to her banking on you not daring to challenge her on it, and you not complying.

If it's any consolation, people will think she looks ridiculous. I was at a wedding years ago where the MOB wore a long white dress and a white hat with a veil, FFS, and everyone had a similar "my god, what on earth was she thinking??!" reaction.

My MIL wore black to my wedding...hmm

Cherryskypie Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:10

One person can wear a floor length white dress to a wedding. The bride. Anyone else doing so will look foolish at best. A MIL wearing a floor length white dress to a wedding is going to have eyes rolling.

DelphiniumBlue Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:34

I agree, she's trying to upstage you.
As a matter of interest, what's your dress like?
There's not a lot more you can do, you've already brought it up with her. The fact that her dress is actually from the bridal range ( !!!!) makes it abundantly clear that she knows exactly what she is doing. She's being disingenuous if she says she didn't know she shouldn't wear white, and now she does know, because you've told her.
If she actually has the audacity to turn up in a bridal dress to your wedding, I would hope that your family would comment. She sounds awful. Has she got form for this sort of behavior?

MoreCakePleaseMrs Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:36

I'm on my sisters phone, she was searching for forums I could post my question and she was already registered,so posting on her account. Dont want to cause friction with her Mil.
I should have registered for my own account.

RiverTam Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:37

Oh, who bloody cares? Either you think the wedding is more important than the marriage or you don't. If you're in the first camp your marriage probably won't last that long so why sweat it either way?

champagnefromapapercup Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:51

Honestly, I'd snigger at her if I was a guest. Mother of groom in floor length white hmm but It's her not you. Let her look silly if she likes it. Not really sure how people can't have heard of not wearing white really

FrancisCrawford Tue 30-Aug-16 10:43:21

its a pretty good tactic to ensure people are going to be talking about you. And not in a good way.

Because bridal dresses are for brides, not for mother of the groom.

She's still got plenty of time to get something different.

Cherryskypie Tue 30-Aug-16 10:43:28

X posts Titanias. A MIL dressed like that is a walking joke.

Bambambini Tue 30-Aug-16 10:43:35

Thinking, my mum wore an whole ecru endemble. She looked lovely.

Op - go on put a link up of the dress so we can see.

kaitlinktm Tue 30-Aug-16 10:43:42

I hadn't picked up that it was from the bridal range - that makes it seem much more deliberate! Silly woman.

Goingtobe - that's awful about the trains. What a horrible woman!

5moreminutes Tue 30-Aug-16 10:44:17

A white or cream trouser suit or even knee length skirt suit if the bride was wearing a wedding dress wouldn't matter.

Has she really bought an actual wedding dress to wear to your wedding though? A white floor length evening dress you said initially...

Is it an evening wedding with black tie dress code? If so I can see how she might have done this having just fallen in love with a dress. Bit less if it is a lunch time church wedding followed by a marque reception...

But now it is from the bridal range at Monsoon ... that drip feed is a bit jaw dropping...

ToffeeForEveryone Tue 30-Aug-16 10:44:28

Wearing a white dress to someone else's wedding is wildly inappropriate. That it is your MIL doing this adds an extra layer of weird.

It's not some sort of arcane "rule", it's just common sense and common courtesy. The bride wears the white dress.

MIL has issues.

absolutelynotfabulous Tue 30-Aug-16 10:45:42

I've never heard of this. Maybe it's a modern thing? I'm 56; is your Mil of the same vintage?
I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist personally......it's not as if people would confuse you both after all...

NoahVale Tue 30-Aug-16 10:45:59

mil probably got confused, and thought the bridal range applied to all guests.
dont worry, have a lovely day thanks

Cherryskypie Tue 30-Aug-16 10:47:07

It's really not a modern thing.

Coconutty Tue 30-Aug-16 10:47:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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