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Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

(381 Posts)
natalie204 Tue 30-Aug-16 09:49:45

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

SleepFreeZone Tue 30-Aug-16 09:50:44

Personally I really wouldn't care but I know others would disagree.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 09:51:56

Surely no one will mistake her for the bride?

Or is it a superstition thing?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Tue 30-Aug-16 09:52:03

Full length and white?
Not the done thing

MrsHam13 Tue 30-Aug-16 09:52:40

No its pretty well known.

Iv been to wedding where the mother of the brides also wearing white but it's been decided by both of them together. Iv also been to a wedding where the (adult) bridesmaids also have ivory or white dresses but again that was also decided by the bride.

To be honest I probably wouldn't care though. She is not going to look like the Bride. She won't look anywhere near as good as you. She will just look a bit ridiculous.

DollyBarton Tue 30-Aug-16 09:53:20

It's not good etiquette BUT I think applies less to the MOTB and MOTG as in all honesty, nobody would ever mistake them for the bride.

I would think your MIL is feeling a bit down about what she obviously thought was a lovely outfit and now probably feel awkward about wearing after your comments. If she is generally nice, I'd go back and say her outfit is beautiful and you hope she wasn't put off it by your clumsy comment.

Heirhelp Tue 30-Aug-16 09:53:36

Only the bride wears white/cream to a wedding. She will look a bit crazy dressed like that.

Which part of the country are you from? I am from the NE and it is a definite no from me.

sentia Tue 30-Aug-16 09:54:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 09:54:30

OP, if you know your family will tell her on the day that her outfit is not appropriate, why don't you tell them not to? That's a horrible thing to do to a guest at a wedding.

CaroleService Tue 30-Aug-16 09:55:11

Spill something on her!

Or choose a scarlet wedding dress to really p* her off

Bambambini Tue 30-Aug-16 09:56:13

I had never heard of this till a few years ago on mn. I doubt i would go for a full length white dress though. I did wear a longidh cream card/coat and a cream hat to a wedding years ago. My skirt and shoes were grey but i'd have looked very cream at the church. Now wondering if everyone was tutting at me.

LIZS Tue 30-Aug-16 09:58:46

A bit strange but not really an issue. Ask her to accessorise it with an accent colour.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 09:59:11

OP, I expect your comment about the outfit will have had the desired effect and she's already taken it back and exchanged it for something that you approve of.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Tue 30-Aug-16 09:59:36

I think it's fine. Everyone in the church knows it's you getting married.

And I would hope that my family had been brought up with better manners and wouldn't mention it to cause any silliness at my wedding

Bambambini Tue 30-Aug-16 09:59:41

But why would your family actually bring this up on your wedding day with her? You ok with that?

ScarletForYa Tue 30-Aug-16 09:59:49

She never heard it before!!!!??

Oh please, how ridiculous.

The fact that she has done this is a 'fuck you' to you OP I'm afraid.

electricflyzapper Tue 30-Aug-16 10:00:28

It may or may not be the done thing to wear white to a wedding, and I have to admit the outfit you describe does sound a bit odd (more the floor length part of it than anything else) but it is also not the done thing to comment on someone's outfit so I am more horrified that you say your family will comment to her! How very rude.

pieceofpurplesky Tue 30-Aug-16 10:00:31

I think it is more the floor length evening dress - a cream suit/jacket/shift may be easier to forgive but a wedding dress style?
Has she been jealous of you before? Maybe she feels she is losing her son and is trying subconsciously to compete?

2014newme Tue 30-Aug-16 10:00:47

It would be very rude of your family to comment on this at the wedding. She has made am error I'm her outfit choice and you have told her
Ask your family not to mention it at the wedding

CRazzyyAce Tue 30-Aug-16 10:00:59

My MIL wore cream I wasn't bothered

Heatherplant Tue 30-Aug-16 10:01:03

Bizarre choice as it's well known only the bride wears white/cream. Leave her to it, I'm sure plenty of people will mention it to her on the day. There is no way in the world she's done it by accident (unless she is from a totally different culture).

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:02:43

The fact that she has done this is a 'fuck you' to you OP I'm afraid.

How ridiculous. I'd never heard of the rule. But then when I got married I wasn't a bridezilla.

Bambambini Tue 30-Aug-16 10:03:27

I'd never heard if it. I've seen lots of recent wedding pics where female guests have cream dresses on.

ChicRock Tue 30-Aug-16 10:03:32

My aunt wore white with a small fascinator with a veil over her face for my wedding. I did notice but didn't give it too much thought on the day.

Afterwards though, loads of family on both mine and DH's side mentioned it to me, and my mum had words with my aunt because of it.

Looking back at the photos she does look a bit silly.

EssentialHummus Tue 30-Aug-16 10:06:11

She'll look a fool, but it's her choice.

bigTillyMint Tue 30-Aug-16 10:06:30

My MIL wore cream IIRC, bit not as ostentatious as your Mis outfitwink - I wasn't bothered as I was wearing turquoise!

Do you think she is trying yo upstage you or was genuinely not realising?

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:07:47

Leave her to it, I'm sure plenty of people will mention it to her on the day.

Seriously? Do people honestly behave this badly at weddings? shock

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 10:13:18

TBH, I've got only ever heard of this being a problem on here. No something I'd do as I'd never wear white when I'm expected to eat/drink and now I've been educated by MN obviously but it's not something I was aware of previously.

A friend recently posted photos of her and dh as wedding guests. She was wearing a full skirted white lace dress and the thought 'uhoh" but all the comments were how lovely she looked, which she did.

MIL might be making am etiquette slip, but your family are ruder if they'd really mention it

5moreminutes Tue 30-Aug-16 10:13:47

I think its fairly universal not to wear a floor length white evening dress (i.e. a wedding dress) to somebody else's wedding, but there is no reason for the bride to care - MIL may end up feeling silly/ getting a bit of a ribbing/ being talked about behind her back for trying to look like the bride even though by the sounds of it she meant nothing by it... You've mentioned it so it's up to her now - if the subject comes up again be sure to be clear you are only thinking of her in case anyone makes jokes at the wedding...

If it was your DH's ex or your little sister who has always seemed to have a thing for him or something it might be different... wink shock

Whathaveilost Tue 30-Aug-16 10:15:16

She never heard it before!!!!??. Neither have I!

Oh please, how ridiculous

The fact that she has done this is a 'fuck you' to you OP I'm afraid how did you work that one out Columbo?

I really really don't see why it's a problem unless she's turns up in a veil screaming 'don't leave me' to her son.

No wonder things are frosty now.
Does it seriously matter what she wears. She seemed happy with her purchase and you were rude.
Your family have no buisness mentioning to her either and if they do they are rude fuckers as well to be honest.
Live and let live. You enjoy your wedding and she enjoys her outfit.

MoreCakePleaseMrs Tue 30-Aug-16 10:16:18

Thanks everyone. MIL has never actually ever taken to me, been with my partner 10 years, 2 kids and still very much not keen on me. My fil likes me a lot.
I can tell my family not to say something but they're adults.
The dress is from monsoons bridal range. A beautiful dress. I think she will look beautiful in it, obviously it's not that people will think she's the bride. I've just been brought up to not wear only white/ivory/cream to a wedding

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:19:44

OP, why have you NC'd?

EssentialHummus Tue 30-Aug-16 10:24:32

The dress is from monsoons bridal range.

Er... She can't be that dim, surely?

NoahVale Tue 30-Aug-16 10:26:30

I am sure it doesnt matter.
i do hope you havent hurt her feelings too much op.
are you becoming a tad bridezilla?

sentia Tue 30-Aug-16 10:28:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 10:29:33

Is this one of those rules that only actually applies <whispers> in the lower orders?

Remember all the fuss (on here) about Pippa wearing white at Kate's wedding? I imagine the etiquette experts were all over those particular wedding plans

Lifegavemelemons Tue 30-Aug-16 10:30:17

I didn't know that 'rule' until I came on MN - and I'm a professional in her 60's who's been to lots of weddings .... I asked around friends and family when i first saw it mentioned and the colour rules any of them knew was not green because it's unlucky and not black because it's for funerals ...

tofutti Tue 30-Aug-16 10:30:25

She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.

She's shocked you called her up on it! Well done grin

I wouldn't stop your family from saying something to her.

NoahVale Tue 30-Aug-16 10:30:37

Pippa was a bridesmaid surely???

SolomanDaisy Tue 30-Aug-16 10:30:42

She's wearing a wedding dress to someone else's wedding. I think anyone could work out that's a bit fucking odd whether they'd heard of the rule before or not.

NataliaOsipova Tue 30-Aug-16 10:30:43

I agree - it's not done to wear white to a wedding. A very cream suit, say, might pass muster as the groom's mother but a floor length white evening dress? Definitely not.

Soubriquet Tue 30-Aug-16 10:31:05

Leave her to it

Everyone will think she looks a bit twatty and you can have a nice smug wedding

My mum wore a floor gown dress in a blue so dark it was almost black. Doesn't sound too bad but when I knew she didn't like my Dh it was very sinister

NoahVale Tue 30-Aug-16 10:31:29

no i remember the mother of the groom at a wedding i went to, pre mumsnet, wore white and i was surprised.

wouldnt dream of saying anything though.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:32:49

I wouldn't stop your family from saying something to her.


NataliaOsipova Tue 30-Aug-16 10:33:28

Yes - Pippa was a bridesmaid, so that had presumably been chosen by the bride! Agree with Soloman Daisy too - it's just odd to buy a wedding dress (or a dress from a "bridal range") for someone else's wedding. It's like an uber version of little girls who aren't bridesmaids or flower girls turning up in what is obviously supposed to be a bridesmaid dress....

kaitlinktm Tue 30-Aug-16 10:33:33

It's interesting to hear that it's now considered not the done thing to wear white/cream to a wedding unless you are the bride.

I got married in 1980 - wore white - and my mother chose a very pale ecru suit and hat. She does like the colour admittedly and it suits her (but then lots of colours suit her) and at the time all those years ago I felt disappointed somehow but couldn't explain why. I never said anything of course but I still think of it - all these years and a divorce later! grin

One or two people commented privately to me when I showed them the photos but to this day she has no idea how I felt or that some people thought it wasn't the done thing.

At least it wasn't floor length though.

I wonder why they didn't say something in the shop - there must have been other dresses equally beautiful she could have chosen.

AndYourBirdCanSing Tue 30-Aug-16 10:33:41

Oh come on, you don't wear a floor length white or cream dress a wedding! I didn't wear one to my own wedding so she would have looked more like the bride then me grin Maybe not as bad if you have a big wedding dress though.

I have seen photos from one wedding where the bride was wearing all purple- one guest was in a white dress and was arranged behind other guests in every staged photo

FrancisCrawford Tue 30-Aug-16 10:33:58

Even if she has never heard that it is really off to wear white to a wedding, then common sense should have stopped her buying a full length white dress from a bridal range.

She sounds nasty, but if course she isn't going to upstage you. She'll just look a bit if nobody other than the bride and bridesmaids are wearing long dresses, then she will look terribly out of place.

BluishSky Tue 30-Aug-16 10:34:05

Do you look so similar that you think people will confuse her with y and think she's the bride? <head tilt>

NoahVale Tue 30-Aug-16 10:35:48

she is the mother of the groom,
quite an important person in the whole event.
i am sure she can't win whatever she wears by the sound of things.

MoreCakePleaseMrs Tue 30-Aug-16 10:37:22

Quite possibly noahvale haha. I just always thought it was a thing. Every wedding I've been too the only person wearing white etc was the bride and it has always been considered very rude.
I've text her to say I hopey comment didn't put her off the outfit etc. And I'll tell my family to be quiet about it.
The dress will be fine as it can pass as evening (as long as she takes the monsoon bridal tag off haha)
Thanks for all your comments, I just wanted to get a feeling if it's 'not the done thing'
I get married on Friday. So it's a bit late to worry now.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:38:11

I don't think anyone thinks it's ok to wear a wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

I'm just really shocked at some of the comments on here - for the OP to spill something on the MIL's dress, that the MIL is saying a big "fuck off" to the bride, to encourage other guests to say something on the day. Why on earth can't this being sorted out in a mature way?

And still wondering why the OP has NC'd half-way through the thread.

Cherrysoup Tue 30-Aug-16 10:38:11

Full length white is taking the piss, sorry.

Jayfee Tue 30-Aug-16 10:38:25

I went to a wedding last week and mother of bride was in a white brocade 2 piece and looked lovely. Not sure about full length although your mil might have a leg complex and want to cover them (long shot!) If you are going to go for tradition, only virgns were supposed to wear white as white symbolises purity. I think you might be getting tooooo tense about the whole thing. Celebrate your love for partner friends and family.

HouseworkIsASin10 Tue 30-Aug-16 10:38:34

It will be more embarrassing for her, not you.
At a wedding one guest was trying to upstage the bridge by wearing a white lace dress (she truly is a 'look at me' type) and people still talk about it to this day how silly and self centred she looked. We were embarrassed for her.

AmserGwin Tue 30-Aug-16 10:39:38

From the bridal range? Wow, how rude, I hope she has the decency not to wear it. YANBU

Goingtobeawesome Tue 30-Aug-16 10:40:40

At 21 I wore white to a wedding as it didn't realise until after I'd bought it. Rang my friend in a panic and she said its fine, wear it.

MIL wore cream at mine. I wasn't happy but happy to be marrying DH so let it go but years later it was just the start of little digs. Twin trains bought for my sons birthday when his twin had died and I'm not allowed to talk about him

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:41:22

people still talk about it to this day how silly and self centred she looked

Some people should get out more.

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 10:41:44

Yes, an actual weeding dress is nuts.

TitaniasTits Tue 30-Aug-16 10:41:56

Utter bollocks that she didn't know. Of course she did, and her frostiness was due to her banking on you not daring to challenge her on it, and you not complying.

If it's any consolation, people will think she looks ridiculous. I was at a wedding years ago where the MOB wore a long white dress and a white hat with a veil, FFS, and everyone had a similar "my god, what on earth was she thinking??!" reaction.

My MIL wore black to my wedding...hmm

Cherryskypie Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:10

One person can wear a floor length white dress to a wedding. The bride. Anyone else doing so will look foolish at best. A MIL wearing a floor length white dress to a wedding is going to have eyes rolling.

DelphiniumBlue Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:34

I agree, she's trying to upstage you.
As a matter of interest, what's your dress like?
There's not a lot more you can do, you've already brought it up with her. The fact that her dress is actually from the bridal range ( !!!!) makes it abundantly clear that she knows exactly what she is doing. She's being disingenuous if she says she didn't know she shouldn't wear white, and now she does know, because you've told her.
If she actually has the audacity to turn up in a bridal dress to your wedding, I would hope that your family would comment. She sounds awful. Has she got form for this sort of behavior?

MoreCakePleaseMrs Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:36

I'm on my sisters phone, she was searching for forums I could post my question and she was already registered,so posting on her account. Dont want to cause friction with her Mil.
I should have registered for my own account.

RiverTam Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:37

Oh, who bloody cares? Either you think the wedding is more important than the marriage or you don't. If you're in the first camp your marriage probably won't last that long so why sweat it either way?

champagnefromapapercup Tue 30-Aug-16 10:42:51

Honestly, I'd snigger at her if I was a guest. Mother of groom in floor length white hmm but It's her not you. Let her look silly if she likes it. Not really sure how people can't have heard of not wearing white really

FrancisCrawford Tue 30-Aug-16 10:43:21

its a pretty good tactic to ensure people are going to be talking about you. And not in a good way.

Because bridal dresses are for brides, not for mother of the groom.

She's still got plenty of time to get something different.

Cherryskypie Tue 30-Aug-16 10:43:28

X posts Titanias. A MIL dressed like that is a walking joke.

Bambambini Tue 30-Aug-16 10:43:35

Thinking, my mum wore an whole ecru endemble. She looked lovely.

Op - go on put a link up of the dress so we can see.

kaitlinktm Tue 30-Aug-16 10:43:42

I hadn't picked up that it was from the bridal range - that makes it seem much more deliberate! Silly woman.

Goingtobe - that's awful about the trains. What a horrible woman!

5moreminutes Tue 30-Aug-16 10:44:17

A white or cream trouser suit or even knee length skirt suit if the bride was wearing a wedding dress wouldn't matter.

Has she really bought an actual wedding dress to wear to your wedding though? A white floor length evening dress you said initially...

Is it an evening wedding with black tie dress code? If so I can see how she might have done this having just fallen in love with a dress. Bit less if it is a lunch time church wedding followed by a marque reception...

But now it is from the bridal range at Monsoon ... that drip feed is a bit jaw dropping...

ToffeeForEveryone Tue 30-Aug-16 10:44:28

Wearing a white dress to someone else's wedding is wildly inappropriate. That it is your MIL doing this adds an extra layer of weird.

It's not some sort of arcane "rule", it's just common sense and common courtesy. The bride wears the white dress.

MIL has issues.

absolutelynotfabulous Tue 30-Aug-16 10:45:42

I've never heard of this. Maybe it's a modern thing? I'm 56; is your Mil of the same vintage?
I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist's not as if people would confuse you both after all...

NoahVale Tue 30-Aug-16 10:45:59

mil probably got confused, and thought the bridal range applied to all guests.
dont worry, have a lovely day thanks

Cherryskypie Tue 30-Aug-16 10:47:07

It's really not a modern thing.

Coconutty Tue 30-Aug-16 10:47:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DelphiniumBlue Tue 30-Aug-16 10:47:52

And please don't apologize for calling her out on it. That will set a precedent, you'll always be the one in the wrong. She should be apologizing to you!

ToffeeForEveryone Tue 30-Aug-16 10:48:07

Ha just saw that it's from a bridal range! That's even more batshit.

Good luck OP smile

FrancisCrawford Tue 30-Aug-16 10:49:07

who bloody cares?

Well, obviously OP does. That is why she is posting.

Is it a valid concern? Given that MIL doesn't like OP and has gone out and bought herself a bridal gown, then yes, it is. MIL is acting like a dog cocking its leg against a lamppost, trying to assert her dominance.

this is exactly the sort of behaviour that people do talk about and do remember for years afterwards because it is so rude.

Lorelei76 Tue 30-Aug-16 10:50:01

Im not someone who cares much about etiquette
And even I'm thinking, no no no no!

She must know

And also, in this day and age, with so many looking years younger, of course she could be mistaken for the bride
Venue staff who haven't met anyone from the wedding party will see a woman in a floor length white gown.

If you haven't got your dress I vote for a different colour.

NerrSnerr Tue 30-Aug-16 10:51:46

It is odd for her to wear a full length white dress, but it would be massively rude for your family to point it out to her, I doubt people will think she's the bride.

EssentialHummus Tue 30-Aug-16 10:52:19

Here is Monsoon's bridal range.

Here is their Mother of the Bridge range which looks hideous IMO, but never mind. Not easy to mix up.

Cherryskypie Tue 30-Aug-16 10:52:29

With so many people getting married later and second and third marriages that's very true.

HouseworkIsASin10 Tue 30-Aug-16 10:52:49

Just don't stand right next to her on the pics.
I'm wearing a coloured dress at mine, and a few of my friends have already picked the same colour. Doesn't bother me at all.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus Tue 30-Aug-16 10:54:03

I think that if MIL had bought a wedding dress to wear to our wedding, DH would have had a word and gotten her to take it back to exchange for something suitable. Buying an actual wedding dress is way beyond 'wearing white to a wedding'.

notagiraffe Tue 30-Aug-16 10:54:36

My mum wore white to my brother's wedding. I tried to have a word with her about it months beforehand and she had a big sulk. I thought she looked a bit silly but no one cared, thank goodness. Far too busy having the time of their lives.

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 10:54:48

OMG, that Monsoon Mother of the bride range is hideous. AND there's several black dresses and lots of floor length ones shock

StopMakingMeLogOn Tue 30-Aug-16 10:57:07

I wore a Monsoon wedding dress for my oen wedding - I would not have liked it if one of the guests turned up in one as well.

Even if you give her the benefit of the doubt regarding knowledge of the no white at weddings rule, I'm not sure how you can excuse her buying something from the bridal range. I don't think there are any circumstances where it is acceptable to wear a wedding dress to someone else's wedding, even if you are the mother of the groom!

I think you were right to mention it. If she goes ahead and wears it anyway at least she will be doing so in the full knowledge that other guests will be judging her, if not to her face then behind her back. If I was her I would prefer that not to happen.

I don't know why people would judge your family badly if they said something to her about it at your wedding. If someone was so self absorbed that they chose to wear a wedding dress to my daughter's wedding, too right I'd say something to them about it being inappropriate.

TheNaze73 Tue 30-Aug-16 10:58:10

In what parallel universe can she actually think, this is acceptable?? shock

There's nowt funnier than folk

Lweji Tue 30-Aug-16 10:58:10

Don't mention it to her again.

It's her choice and everyone will think she's a twat.

What does your OH think?

user7755 Tue 30-Aug-16 10:58:46

That's hilarious Freud would love it!

ToffeeForEveryone Tue 30-Aug-16 11:01:16

Good point, what does soon to be Dh think of his mother turning up to his wedding in a bridal gown confused?

MoonfaceAndSilky Tue 30-Aug-16 11:01:27

The dress is from monsoons bridal range

That is weird - is it one of those subconscious/Freudian things that she really wants to marry her son? grin

Ah you beat me to it User7755

Anotherdayanotherdollar Tue 30-Aug-16 11:01:43

Floor length white/cream would be a definite no-no for me. For a guest or a member of bridal party. "Regular" mother of the bride/groom outfits in cream are fine I think. My mum wore cream to my wedding and two of my siblings (different outfits and accessories) and looked amazing each time. I guess cream is her colour!

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 11:02:29

What does your fiancé think, OP? Does he agree that your family should raise the issue with his mother on your wedding day?

Or does he think you should focus on the fact that this is your wedding day and rise above it?

OpenMe Tue 30-Aug-16 11:03:04

What is correct for a mother of the groom?

At my wedding both my mum and MIL worn lovely but fairly ordinary dresses of the sort that any wedding guest might wear and which they both hoped to be able to wear again. This seemed normal to me at the time.

At SIL's wedding her mother (also my MIL) had her outfit made by the same dressmaker as the bridesmaids, not the same but certainly part of a set IYSWIM. I did feel for the groom's mum as she was so obviously not part of that.

sentia Tue 30-Aug-16 11:05:27

Freud would love it!


Soubriquet Tue 30-Aug-16 11:06:10

What is correct for mother of the bride or groom?

Any colour apart from white and black

user7755 Tue 30-Aug-16 11:06:22

Great minds think alike!

Mother of the bride outfits are normally awful. There seems to be an assumption that mothers of the bride are universally frumpy and old.

It's depressing. she's still weird though

GingerbreadGingerbread Tue 30-Aug-16 11:08:07

She can't have not heard of that. A floor length white dress? Er no. Tell her you're worried about her welding uncomfortable on the day as people may think she's the bride so maybe she should exchange it for a more appropriate outfit? Or say "I'm so sorry you didn't know the etiquette surrounding wedding guests wearing white. I'm afraid if you wear that people will assume you are making a statement and attempting to upstage the bride. For your sake of you don't want everyone thinking you're a massive bitch MIL from hell talking about you behind your back I think it's best to wear something different to the wedding.

Then smile sweetly.

Don't ignore it it will eat away at you.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 11:08:59

But surely, as a PP said, if you're going to be such a stickler for tradition only a virgin bride would wear white?

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