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Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

(381 Posts)
natalie204 Tue 30-Aug-16 09:49:45

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

SleepFreeZone Tue 30-Aug-16 09:50:44

Personally I really wouldn't care but I know others would disagree.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 09:51:56

Surely no one will mistake her for the bride?

Or is it a superstition thing?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Tue 30-Aug-16 09:52:03

Full length and white?
Not the done thing

MrsHam13 Tue 30-Aug-16 09:52:40

No its pretty well known.

Iv been to wedding where the mother of the brides also wearing white but it's been decided by both of them together. Iv also been to a wedding where the (adult) bridesmaids also have ivory or white dresses but again that was also decided by the bride.

To be honest I probably wouldn't care though. She is not going to look like the Bride. She won't look anywhere near as good as you. She will just look a bit ridiculous.

DollyBarton Tue 30-Aug-16 09:53:20

It's not good etiquette BUT I think applies less to the MOTB and MOTG as in all honesty, nobody would ever mistake them for the bride.

I would think your MIL is feeling a bit down about what she obviously thought was a lovely outfit and now probably feel awkward about wearing after your comments. If she is generally nice, I'd go back and say her outfit is beautiful and you hope she wasn't put off it by your clumsy comment.

Heirhelp Tue 30-Aug-16 09:53:36

Only the bride wears white/cream to a wedding. She will look a bit crazy dressed like that.

Which part of the country are you from? I am from the NE and it is a definite no from me.

sentia Tue 30-Aug-16 09:54:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 09:54:30

OP, if you know your family will tell her on the day that her outfit is not appropriate, why don't you tell them not to? That's a horrible thing to do to a guest at a wedding.

CaroleService Tue 30-Aug-16 09:55:11

Spill something on her!

Or choose a scarlet wedding dress to really p* her off

Bambambini Tue 30-Aug-16 09:56:13

I had never heard of this till a few years ago on mn. I doubt i would go for a full length white dress though. I did wear a longidh cream card/coat and a cream hat to a wedding years ago. My skirt and shoes were grey but i'd have looked very cream at the church. Now wondering if everyone was tutting at me.

LIZS Tue 30-Aug-16 09:58:46

A bit strange but not really an issue. Ask her to accessorise it with an accent colour.

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 09:59:11

OP, I expect your comment about the outfit will have had the desired effect and she's already taken it back and exchanged it for something that you approve of.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Tue 30-Aug-16 09:59:36

I think it's fine. Everyone in the church knows it's you getting married.

And I would hope that my family had been brought up with better manners and wouldn't mention it to cause any silliness at my wedding

Bambambini Tue 30-Aug-16 09:59:41

But why would your family actually bring this up on your wedding day with her? You ok with that?

ScarletForYa Tue 30-Aug-16 09:59:49

She never heard it before!!!!??

Oh please, how ridiculous.

The fact that she has done this is a 'fuck you' to you OP I'm afraid.

electricflyzapper Tue 30-Aug-16 10:00:28

It may or may not be the done thing to wear white to a wedding, and I have to admit the outfit you describe does sound a bit odd (more the floor length part of it than anything else) but it is also not the done thing to comment on someone's outfit so I am more horrified that you say your family will comment to her! How very rude.

pieceofpurplesky Tue 30-Aug-16 10:00:31

I think it is more the floor length evening dress - a cream suit/jacket/shift may be easier to forgive but a wedding dress style?
Has she been jealous of you before? Maybe she feels she is losing her son and is trying subconsciously to compete?

2014newme Tue 30-Aug-16 10:00:47

It would be very rude of your family to comment on this at the wedding. She has made am error I'm her outfit choice and you have told her
Ask your family not to mention it at the wedding

CRazzyyAce Tue 30-Aug-16 10:00:59

My MIL wore cream I wasn't bothered

Heatherplant Tue 30-Aug-16 10:01:03

Bizarre choice as it's well known only the bride wears white/cream. Leave her to it, I'm sure plenty of people will mention it to her on the day. There is no way in the world she's done it by accident (unless she is from a totally different culture).

SuburbanRhonda Tue 30-Aug-16 10:02:43

The fact that she has done this is a 'fuck you' to you OP I'm afraid.

How ridiculous. I'd never heard of the rule. But then when I got married I wasn't a bridezilla.

Bambambini Tue 30-Aug-16 10:03:27

I'd never heard if it. I've seen lots of recent wedding pics where female guests have cream dresses on.

ChicRock Tue 30-Aug-16 10:03:32

My aunt wore white with a small fascinator with a veil over her face for my wedding. I did notice but didn't give it too much thought on the day.

Afterwards though, loads of family on both mine and DH's side mentioned it to me, and my mum had words with my aunt because of it.

Looking back at the photos she does look a bit silly.

EssentialHummus Tue 30-Aug-16 10:06:11

She'll look a fool, but it's her choice.

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