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Does your DD/ DS have a friend like this? Really overbearing competative girl alert...

7 replies

GhouliaYelps · 09/09/2012 19:08

Don't want to drip feed so will give some background.

DD is nearly 6 and has had a friend since pre-school in her class let's call her S. She is in a "three" and is v friendly with a girl let's call her B. B is also linked to S through sibling ties so S is part of their group. DD has always said she is not really keen on S and has been quite upset and cross at times but I put it down to their age and normal friendship problems.

Anyway we had to give S a lift somewhere this WK and my God it was like this at FULL VOLUME to DD;

"Your in the baby seat I am in a big girl seat"(a booster she brought)
"I can dive in. I had a holiday in blah and got a book on Brave with presents."
DD "oh I really like Brave I have a book too..."
"Well I got toys with my book."
You get the idea...

DD would smile and try to talk about some stuff she did but was completely cut off really loudly.
"well we went here/ did this / was better / I can do more I have a bigger house.."
DH and I were like Hmm by the end of the journey. I did at some point have to cut in and say something about being boastful. S is very privileged and from what I see, never, EVER reproached by her parents despite being v rude at times.
I did ask DD how she puts up with it and she just kind of shrugged. I really think spending a day at school with this girl would drive me mad and I don't want her to feel like friendship is, well, competing and showing off. I have encouraged other friendships but she adores B so will always be linked I suppose...
Does anyone have similar experiences or advice on how it may pan out?

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Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 09/09/2012 19:16

I childmind a little girl who is quite boastful. I remind her that we all different and are all good at something or other - she was talking about how she is a better reader than DS who is in the same year etc etc.

My situation is not as extreme as yours, but i do understand what you mean.
Learning modesty and discretion takes time. I suppose that as your DD's friend grows up, she may tone down the boasting.

No other advice, I'm afraid!

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GhouliaYelps · 09/09/2012 21:36

Thank you anyway, I don't think there is much I can do. But it can be hurtful for DD it's hard to explain why.

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Pancakeflipper · 09/09/2012 21:43

My 7 yr old son has a friend like this except this friend also has a great sense of humour which softens the boasting streak which I find overbearing.

My 7 yr old has begun to see through the boasting. They are still firm
mates but my son has often said recently "I was talking about when dad took me to the F1 and guess who says he sat in that car I like the best?"
My son is learning to take it with a pinch of salt and focusing on his friend's good points.

Whereas I have to bite my tongue when listening the brag-fest and not make a childish retort.

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FrameyMcFrame · 09/09/2012 21:49

I think this is a fairly normal phase for a 7 year old. Your DD's friend will grow out of this trait soon :)

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simpson · 09/09/2012 21:52

Oh God, DD would be like this if I did not step in Blush and she is only 4!!!

I am strict with her and talk about hurting people's feelings etc and she has got much better...

She has also been on the receiving end too, with a girl in her nursery class....

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GhouliaYelps · 10/09/2012 00:04

Thanks again for your responses, I only wish her mum was more pro active in stopping it!

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BoobyMoon · 25/09/2012 13:28

We have this with one of DS's friends. We seem to be more bothered about it that him to be honest!

the parents of the child in question also seem to be totally oblivious to this behaviour and often seem quite indulgent of her competitiveness. I'm hoping it's just a stage and that either the girl will stop boasting or DS will finally tire of it and tell her to shut up!! They are 6 so it could well be an age thing....

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