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what is the cut off point for giving money for neices/nephews

(37 Posts)
southeastastra Tue 24-Dec-13 23:22:43

i would usually give them a tenner or something but once they reach 18 isn't that a bit much? what would be a good time to stop, it's becoming a dilema now.

17leftfeet Tue 24-Dec-13 23:25:20

We stop at 18, after that if we are seeing them they get a token something, if we aren't seeing them they get nothing

tigerdriverII Tue 24-Dec-13 23:27:02

Just stop once and for all. DH has a huge family with several grand nieces/nephews and zillions of neices/ nephews. To be honest, too many to remember, so all are now adults, get a card, nothing else. And guess what, no one complains, least of all us who don't want anymore stuff for DS.

SuckItAndSee Tue 24-Dec-13 23:27:51

i am still giving to my 19yo nephew, and begruding it, as the ingrate never even so much as sends me a facebook message to confirm receipt of the cold, hard cash.
however i would feel mean if I stopped, and carried on giving to his 17yo sister confused

tigerdriverII Tue 24-Dec-13 23:28:30

We throw a huge party for them 1x year and tell the, (honestly but with relief) that their presence is worth more than their presents.

NoComet Tue 24-Dec-13 23:30:02

18 or 21, dependent on how close you are.

I think I gave my brides maid confusion a fiver or a little something all through university.

VoldemortsNipple Tue 24-Dec-13 23:42:51

In dhs family, we stopped at 18. However all 3 nieces had babies by that age so couldn't complain as we buy for their dcs. We are the only ones who have dcs under 18 now from our generation. Sil buys them shite so my dcs wouldn't care if she decided to stop buying before 18.

Generally I would say until they are earning their own money.

Mishmashofstyles Wed 25-Dec-13 00:00:30

I'm nearly forty and my aunts still buy me gifts! Nice ones! And for my kids too.

usualsuspect Wed 25-Dec-13 00:01:47

I still buy my grown up niece a present.

Glitterandglue Wed 25-Dec-13 02:29:41

In our family the adults all agreed to stop giving when kids turned 18, but then ended up staying on till 21 since we were all poor students, then it was 'well, you haven't got a proper job yet, so...'

I am 27 and still get money from some of my relatives. confused I certainly don't expect it though.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 25-Dec-13 02:37:07

I don't know! My mum was an only child & my dad had one brother who he never ever saw & didn't get on with fconfused. Therefore, I have no experience of Auntie/Uncle gifts. My godmother still buys me something though (I am 38).

My eldest neice is 23 & we buy for her. She is the only adult neice or nephew that either myself or DH has though - along with four under 10. It would seem wrong to buy for the little ones & not the older one at the moment.

I imagine I could change my mind if either of us had a large family though!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Wed 25-Dec-13 02:38:09

Sorry for the blatant overuse of the word "though" fblush.

80sMum Wed 25-Dec-13 02:39:24

We stop at 18 for nieces, nephews and friends' children.
The only over-18s I give presents/money to are DS and DD and their spouses, my DM, DMil and goddaughter.

If you don't have a cut-off point, things can get insanely expensive.

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 25-Dec-13 08:38:33

21 for us.
My nieces are working and live at home. They have much more dispoible income than I do. I can't bring myself to hand over £20 when they've just spent £50 odd on their hair/ nails/ eyelashes and I'm scrabbling around or £20 to go to super cuts. <mean auntie>

TheRealAmandaClarke Wed 25-Dec-13 08:44:17

I think I would be more generous if I hadn't had my own DCs?

feelinlucky Wed 25-Dec-13 08:46:26

I'm 43 and my auntie gave me £60 in a card and she stills sends me at Easter ��

BikeRunSki Wed 25-Dec-13 08:52:19


Although if any of those who are not yet 18 leave school earlier and get a job, I will stop them. Anyone working, living at home and not paying childcare will have more disposable income than me!

BikeRunSki Wed 25-Dec-13 08:53:41

I am not sure my uncles and aunts have ever given me a birthday or Christmas present, child or adult, apart from a cheque on my 18 from one uncle/aunt.

LucyLasticKnickers Wed 25-Dec-13 09:19:31

tis difficult when they are differing ages.
i spose when the youngest is 18?

but i have got them token gifts, socks and smellies.

LucyLasticKnickers Wed 25-Dec-13 09:20:41

although the nieces somehow dont spend on us!

MirandaWest Wed 25-Dec-13 09:23:50

I still get a Christmas present from one of my aunts and I'm 38. The other one used to give up until a few years ago and then they told my sister and me that they were stopping (this included presents for my DC). Not sure why - maybe me being 35 was the important moment grin

chanie44 Wed 25-Dec-13 10:11:04

I'm in my 30s and my aunt still gives me a present (money). Although last year, instead of giving money to me, she said it was for the children. Which is fine.

I'm close to my nieces and nephews, so I think I will always give them something even just a token present, but OH and I only have 6 between us (so far) so isn't a great hardship.

I think 18-21 is fine to stop, but I would make it clear as to the reasons and do so early, not on Xmas eve!!!!

FortyMerryFuckers Wed 25-Dec-13 10:15:26

I am 28 and still get properpresents from aunts and I have my own DS

NoComet Thu 26-Dec-13 01:00:52

My aunt's still send presents, sensible aunt, Some very nice chocolates and £25 each for the DDs (which is lovely of her, as I have never sent her a present, only my cousins as her DD was my flower girl)

Daft aunt 4 strange hats, two very. very itchy. Her presents are always very odd, always have been, Hats, scarves, bags no one would ever wear. Jigsaw that don't fit obviously from craft stalls.

DM has had over 50 years of odd gifts and tried to get them to give up, but no, they still keep coming.

Floralnomad Thu 26-Dec-13 01:12:30

No stopping point in our family ,but I think if they're working they should be reciprocating with at least a token gift and if they don't do that then its fair enough to stop buying for them .

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