i think buying presents for adults at christmas is ridiculous

[WayneKai]

i just don't bother really apart from mil. why do people insist on buying each other over packaged tat at this time of year?

bah humbug

[scrappydappydoo]

Well we've just stopped doing adult presents - i know its sounds silly but I'm quite sad really cos xmas and birthday are the only time I get pressies BUT I know I need to grow up (sigh)

[StephHaydock]

I agree!

About 5 years ago, I came up with the revolutionary (!) idea of not buying presents for adults in the family. I mentioned the idea to a few relatives to see if they thought I was being tight...but they were all, without exception, delighted with the idea (and visibly relieved that they wouldn't be spending yet another December trawling the shops for shite Boots 3 for 2 toiletry sets, I bet! ).

Since that Xmas, none of the grown ups in our family buy each other presents. Among my friends, we stopped buying each other pressies in our teens.

So only kids to buy for now (under 16s is the rule if they're not your kids). It's the way forward!

[StephHaydock]

(DH has been known to leave a small surprise pressie under my pillow, though....).

Oh, and DS insists on buying a gift from him to his granny and grandad, which is only fair.

[WayneKai]

tbh dh and i still give each other presents but wee things. glad some of you agree, it just seems to cause unneccessary misery.

scrappy buy yourself a pressie!

[southeastastra]

why does your mil get special favour then?

[WayneKai]

guilt!

[chibi]

god i wish i could do this - my mil is an xmas fiend and buys shedloads of crap for all, and we must do the same or risk her going nuclear.

she got me carseat covers (i can't drive!!!!) last year. it's not just me, she buys dh a mountain of socks every year, and paracetamol. these gifts are just part of the avalanche - i will get at least 10 things from her, none of which have anything to do with me but which are just random impulse buys.

it is like having a generous magpie come to stay.

it's just more crap to get rid of but i guess it keeps the charity shops busy.

[WayneKai]

yes mil always buys ridiculous crap, like a bag that turned into a coat or clothes in an insultingly large size.

[sparklycherrybomb]

i still buy for the adults, my mum and dad, my brother and sister (who dont have kids) and my gran, aswell as a couple of close friends

[chibi]

but do you buy them peg bags? i am the lucky recipient of a new peg bag every xmas.

hum buggery.

[TsarChasm]

We still do for parents and dh's nan.

Sometimes we really struggle to come up with a gift idea. When an older person seems to have everything and you get things for the sake of it, part of me does feel a bit about it because dh and I long ago stopped giving each other Christmas gifts as we're so often stretched with money.

I'd sort of prefer to have one from him and one for me rather than getting something for someone who doesn't need it. How on earth to bring up the subject though without upsetting everyone though, gawd knows.

[TheBlairSnitchProject]

We buy for our parents - after all, they bought us the presents of our childish dreams for many, many years without reciprocation! - and our siblings, plus the kids...

Not all of our sisters and brothers have kids and it would feel mean to leave them out until they have reproduced!

[MadameDuBain]

I wish I could call it all off too. Have really tried this year by asking if we can just exchange small presents eg one book. My family seemed to understand but I'll believe it when I see it. To her credit my mum does now ask me what I want and I asked for nice moisturizer etc. If it's left to her she buys loads of poor-quality tat. MIL is similar. She buys some badly-made, unnecessary thing for DP like a digital message board and then goes on and on about how much it cost and what a hassle it was to post. aaarrgh!

I think the invention of the purpose-made "gift" is a disaster - things like toiletry sets, silly "games" and gadgets for men, monogrammed wallets etc - why would you want them at xmas if you don't want them the rest of the year? In my mind presents should be, if anything, a book or CD that you want anyway, or stuff that gets used up like chocolate or booze.

[Ladyem]

We do a 'round-robin' in our family where we each buy gifts to the value of £50 for one person and receive £50 worth of gifts from another. Works out really well as then we all get something to open, but keeps the cost down! I'm having a spa voucher this year

[ilovesprouts]

i dont buy gifs for adults at xmas ,and i dont expect one, also dont buy for over 18 unless they are very close for birthdays etc !!

[AndiMac]

Both our families live overseas, so it's hard to know what to give. If I lived near either family, I might have a better clue that my mother needs a new rug or that my brother-in-law is well into the local sports team and would like this year's shirt, for examples. Any presents that get given to us or by us are total guesses as to what might be liked and appreciated.
I stopped regular gift-giving with my family years ago and am slowly trying to convince DH and his family to keep it for the kids as well. The postage alone makes it ridiculous to send gifts.

[elfqueen]

well me and my friends all agree to buy each other something for under a fiver - but it is not allowed to be chocolate or your normal gifts, it has to be something they will need/like etc.....its cheap and fun tryin to find little gifts that mean somethin

[Bettymum]

I have 26 people on my christmas list this year as we're having christmas day with the inlaws but then a second christmas with my family. DH and I are both one of four children, all siblings are married/with partners, most of them have children...we have told everyone that the kids will all get pressies from us but that adults will get token gifts. I'm making lots of lovely decorated gingerbread biscuits for the men, and embroidered felt brooches for the women. I will still buy DH a nice present though.
It's just getting out of hand...

[Mumof]

i concur

bar my lovely mum!

[MintyCane]

I agree - we get sent huge christmas lists from my husbands extensive and grasping family in November. There is nothing on the list for less than £30 They then send my kids something from poundland. It is about time they grew up.

[WayneKai]

christmas lists! greedy feckers

[MintyCane]

I know ! I was emailed two today

[Slimcognito]

I agree. I think if people insist on gifts for adults at least make it something cheap and useful like books, booze, edible stuff, and toiletries that people will actually use rather than the usual cranberry flavour bath confetti etc. The amount of waste involved in christmas tat is shocking. So depressing as well.

[ProfYaffle]

Oh I would love to do this, I was only saying to dh the other day it would be so much easier if we could just all save our money and buy ourselves one gift we actually want. Would save so much hassle.

[girlywhirly]

DH and I are buying each other an acre of land via the World Land Trust for about £50 each. We couldn't decide on anything that we really wanted for Christmas, so are helping to preserve endangered species habitats from palm oil plantations, etc. We will have a few stocking pressies as well.

We don't give adults gifts, closest family remaining are cousins a along distance away, and don't see them often. I got to the point of not buying some child relatives presents either, as I rarely got thanked, or even an acknowledgement the parcel had arrived safely in the post from the parents. I doubt they even noticed I'd stopped.