You cooked a roast you didn’t discover gravity

[Rose789]

Dh family came over for New Years dinner.
They were meant to come for Christmas then I ended up having gallbladder surgery on the 21st so they did their own Christmas dinner. Decided at the time that dh would make the New Years dinner for everyone so all 10 of us could be together.

In his version he has single handily fed the four thousand alllllllllll by himself. In PIL version he may as well have hand reared the cow, took it on day trips and catered for its every whim before slaughtering it himself before dawn.

The actual version.
Dh doing an online food order. How many carrots do you think I’ll need? Should I get X or Y. What’s that stuff that you normally make at Christmas? What’s the recipe? What’s that? Where will it be on the asda website? And on and on and on.
Order arrived on Thursday and there were 7 things he had forgotten- including dessert. Because he was at work I ended up walking to the local tesco (still can’t drive) to get the missing stuff.
Yesterday I peeled and chopped all the veg while he had the kids at the park.
Put the wine and drinks in the fridge.
Cleaned the house for guests coming.
Set the table

The kids did not sleep well last night with the fireworks and stuff and between the 2 of them I managed about 3 hours of broken sleep.
I’m still recovering after surgery and I’m just knackered. Made a special New Year breakfast (pancakes) for everyone, cleaned the kitchen and tidied the living room. Got to 10am and I was flagging so me and dd2 went for a nap. Got up at 12 as guests coming at 2.

Dh had used every single utensil and pot and pan. Cupboards and drawers half open everywhere. Flour everywhere- apparently he was going to make yorkshires but the bag fell so he was sticking with good old aunt Bessie’s. So while he sat down and mopped his sweating brown. I mopped the floor, cleaned the benches. Loaded the dishwasher and did a sink full of dishes.
He cooked the joint but I had to check the meat thermometer “just in case” While I was there could I sort the juices out for the gravy. Could I wrap it up to rest. Could I just quickly do this and do that.

Guests arrived. Dh was cooking so I got everyone drinks and all sorted. While PIL exclaimed lovingly how glad they were dh was looking after me and how lovely that I got to sit down and relax with them.
Had dinner and it was lovely to be fair. But Jesus Christ I’ve never seen so much fawning in all of my life. Eeeeh he made it all by himself while tending to his wife’s every need.

They’ve gone home now. They did offer to help clean up to be fair, but dh insisted it was in hand and to sit and relax and have another drink. The kitchen and the dining room are bomb sites. The kids need bathing and putting to bed.
Dh lying on the sofa fast asleep after several drinks to celebrate the new year and the wonder of a man cooking a dinner ‘on his own’.

Sorry to be the grinch of new year

[Newbabycousin]

There's not an ice cube in hell's chance that i would be touching that washing up.

[Xmasiscancelledagain]

YABU to have got yourself dragged into it.

In your position, I would have told him to f off and order a dominoes.

[CaMePlaitPas]

It never ceases to amaze and depress me at how low the bar is for men. They are distinctly unimpressive.

Get well soon OP x

[Reallybadidea]

Do. Not. Touch. Those. Dishes.

[Hyppogriff]

Crickey! Yanbu. Ps I had gallbladder surgery a week before you ! How did you find it ?!

[PlanktonsComputerWife]

Ditch the martyrdom and get him to order a takeaway next time.

[EatYourVegetables]

Do NOT clean that kitchen.

If the kids need to go to bed wake him up. If they need a bath, he can do it in the morning.

Pretend to be feeling ill if needed. Stay in bed with a book or Netflix. Express a lot of gratitude. Do not lift a finger. Ask for food to be delivered to your bedside because you’re too unwell.

Do not get yourself be dragged into more of this circus.

[NatriumChloride]

Oh OP. I was half laughing at your post (you’re an engaging writer!), and half nodding along in misery - it’s an all too familiar scene at this end, too. Well done for pulling off your NYE dinner. I hope you recover well from your surgery.

[aloris]

DO NOT DO THE WASHING UP.

I REPEAT, DO NOT DO THE WASHING UP.

[Suprima]

Why on earth did you go and get the vegetables and basically do everything for him?

Quit the martyrdom and watch it all burn

[RandomMess]

Leave it all for him tomorrow!

[thebear1]

Please give yourself the rest of the night off, you have had major surgery and no sleep. Will dh get up with the dc tonight? I would have to tell dh a few home truths or resentment would build.

[Dozer]

Don’t clean up.

Your H clearly doesn’t care very much about your recovery.

[powershowerforanhour]

Words cannot express how not unreasonable you are. Meat is key though. Nobody gives a fuck about the veg and 2 metric tons of washing up. You need to physically push the lump of meat protein through the oven door yourself, fuss about basting and pointlessly checking it more often than necessary and- crucially - be the one who transforms it into smaller pieces to put on the plates. Although if you have the temerity to do this whilst possessing a vagina you might as well have picked up the big knife and used it to hack off the testicles of every male in the room over the age of 8 apparently.

[powershowerforanhour]

"Pretend to be feeling ill if needed. Stay in bed with a book or Netflix. Express a lot of gratitude. Do not lift a finger. Ask for food to be delivered to your bedside because you’re too unwell."

Do it do it do it.

[FallonCarringtonWannabe]

@Newbabycousin

There's not an ice cube in hell's chance that i would be touching that washing up.

Absolutely. Dont do it. Why would you do it???

And tell him to put the children to bed too as you are recovering from Surgery.

[ChubbyMorticia]

First, I misread your title to 'discovering GRAVY' instead of 'GRAVITY', so glad I reread

Second... why on Earth did you do ANY of the work? You're recovering from surgery, for goodness sake!

I'm going to chime in to yell, DON'T TOUCH THE DISHES!

[Faevern]

Seriously, why did you do all of that?

[Porcupineintherough]

YAB utterly U for first rescuing him and then complaining about it. Next time just stop. Let go of the controls. Let him fail, he'll learn, or else do something different which is ok. He makes a mess,? No problem, you had a house full of family to do the tidy up. You are post op, exhausted, why are you matyring yourself?

[Faevern]

Oh Crossed post.

[ThreeLocusts]

This is so familiar. No end of tasks that are banal or even slightly lame if a woman does them, and become badges of honour if a man does.

As others have said, don't wash up. And don't take crap from your DH for not washing up.

[Waftypants]

He'll be inviting them over for a barbecue in the summer

[Pegasussnail]

He didn't exactly do much. I actually think in laws should have more cop on than to land for dinner. Do not tough the washing up

[arethereanyleftatall]

Christ on a bike.
You are brilliant op. You are funny, articulate, and clearly capable.
Why on Earth you are with this pathetic man is anyones guess.
The bar is so so low.

[WorriedGiraffe]

Is he a horrible husband that would have kicked off if you didn’t run around after him like his maid? Did he beg you to do his prep because he’s not capable? Doesn’t sound from your post like he forced you to be a martyr! I’d be annoyed he’s now asleep and not cleaning though, do not clean the kitchen! Sit, relax, and let him deal with his own mess in the morning. Also make sure you give him a shove in the night when it’s his turn to deal with the kids