Husband ruining all my plans

(234 Posts)
mrswormwood1 Wed 08-Dec-21 09:48:08

Just need to moan and feel sorry for myself with you all! And possible hear someone call my husband a pig? Will definitely cheer me up 😂
My son is 2 and finally understands who Santa is and that Santa is gonna bring him presents this year..
I've been saving my pennies for months and been so careful about what gifts I pick for my son because I wanted things I know he would love and appreciate
I ended up with about 4 presents for him but each and every one was thought out and special..
I just want to make it a lovely memory for him and us..
only problem is my husband.
About a week or two ago I left my husband to watch my son for a couple hours while I went to the hospital for an appointment (pregnant) when I came back my husband had found a hidden presents and opened it and gave it to my son! I was a bit annoyed but not too unhappy as it was only a bubble bath set so not one of the main presents! This morning however I've woken up to my son playing with the most expensive and the present I was most excited about to see his reaction when he opens it on Christmas morning!
I've saved and shopped and planned everything to make this special and he keeps ruining it! I don't have a lot of money to keep replacing gifts at this rate my little one will have nothing left to open on Christmas Day..

OP’s posts: |
Twinstudy Wed 08-Dec-21 09:50:19

WTF?! Why would he do that? He's a pig op and I'm not just saying that coz you asked us togrin

I'd be very annoyed and expect him to replace the gifts

RestingPandaFace Wed 08-Dec-21 09:51:14

Why on earth would he do that. What an absolute knob. Totally unbelievable.

I’d be having serious words and maki g him go and choose a replacement.

Also getting them wrapped in Christmas paper (if not already) might stop him.

ftw163532 Wed 08-Dec-21 09:52:07

What did he say when you asked him why he did that?

RedwineforSantaplease Wed 08-Dec-21 09:53:00

Why do you have to pay for the Christmas presents? Surely it's a joint expense (if you're both working).

He's either as thick as mince or a complete prick. I'd have gone ballastic.

ExplodingCarrots Wed 08-Dec-21 09:53:20

Why is it you scrimping and scraping to buy these gifts ? Tell your H he needs to buy a replacement gift. It's such an odd thing to do tbh .

Ozanj Wed 08-Dec-21 09:53:59

He’s a nob. Send everything back and make him buy replacements and if he doesn’t kick him out. I’m sure there must be a lot of other ways he’s a selfish git if this is how he behaves over Christmas presents.


Iggly Wed 08-Dec-21 09:54:37

What did your husband say when you asked him what the fuck he’s playing at?

LightDrizzle Wed 08-Dec-21 09:55:22

Did you not have a conversation the first time it happened?
What does your DH say? He’s either spectacularly dim to the point where I can’t imagine how he functions in a workplace or he’s very nasty with a probable side order of lazy.
Please elucidate!

meh12 Wed 08-Dec-21 09:55:51

He's a stupid twat. I'd be furious.

Warmduscher Wed 08-Dec-21 09:56:37

Do you not discuss things like Christmas presents for a child that I assume you’re both the parents of?

It doesn’t sound like a marriage at all with you saving your own money to buy presents, and the lack of communication with your husband about what you’ve bought.

Thegreencup Wed 08-Dec-21 09:56:46


Why is it you scrimping and scraping to buy these gifts ? Tell your H he needs to buy a replacement gift. It's such an odd thing to do tbh .

I'm thinking the same.

Do you not discuss the children's Christmas presents together? Do you not tell each other what you've bought and where it's hidden? Does he not also contribute?

I'm waiting for the massive but not unexpected drip feed that he doesn't pay for anything for the DC, doesn't do anything with them and 'watching' his own kids for a few hours is done as a massive favour to you.

mam0918 Wed 08-Dec-21 09:57:12

why the fuck would he do that?

This isn't normal behavior and your calmness at it is a bit odd.

My DH would be sleeping on his parent's couch if he had had the brass balls to do something that rude and shitty - and damn right he would be paying for replacements too.

TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons Wed 08-Dec-21 09:57:28

That's really awful. He's a pig.

MrMrsJones Wed 08-Dec-21 10:01:17

This doesn't make sense.

Your child
You have bought the present
Thought by you
You scrimped and saved

Where does your husband come into all of this?

RoastPotatoQueen Wed 08-Dec-21 10:02:13

So why isn't he replacing the presents with his money? Why are you scrimping?

It's not even funny id be furious.

mam0918 Wed 08-Dec-21 10:02:30

I don't find the buying thing odd - women usually tend to do the majority of Xmas shopping for the kids, its odd that people are saying it's odd lol.

I buy 95% of the kid's stuff and I'm not going to sit and list every sweetie and stocking filler for DH lol.

He will ask 'have you got x this' before he buys the 1 or 2 things he buys because I shop months in advance and he leaves it until the week of Xmas but I don't need his approval to buy things and it would be tedious to have to tell him every item.

That said he obviously KNOWS not to touch the xmas presents before xmas and he certainly wouldn't unwrap things, thats just bizaare.

Bonnealle Wed 08-Dec-21 10:04:47

I cannot fathom saving in secret and buying my child Christmas presents and hiding them from my husband?! Why did you do this? Don’t you discuss what you’re going to buy and then both buy them? Honestly, I don’t think him finding presents and opening them is the real problem here.

Topseyt Wed 08-Dec-21 10:09:36

He sounds like an utter twat. I'd be telling him so, and making clear that he should replace the gifts and give those to your DS on Christmas Day.

Yes, I'd be furious. It shows a special category of fuckwittery to do what he has done.

Franklyfrost Wed 08-Dec-21 10:09:48

I don’t understand. He found wrapped presents and gave them to the child to unwrap. Was it the child’s birthday? Or did he find some bubble bath, unwrapped, in a kitchen drawer and show it to the kid not knowing it was a present?

Pig if it was wrapped or obviously a hidden present (like a toy, with tags on, behind the books on the bookshelf).

Rainbowqueeen Wed 08-Dec-21 10:10:40

He did this deliberately. You have big big problems. My FIL is the same kind of person.
I’d get my ducks in a row. And I’d hide the remaining gifts at a friend or neighbours house
And 💐 for you. I hope that you are still able to have a lovely Xmas.

Shedmistress Wed 08-Dec-21 10:11:09

What is wrong with him?

Seriously, he cannot be right in the head to give a kids christmas presents that he didn't even buy and wrap himself. Who does that?

CoffeeChocolateWine Wed 08-Dec-21 10:11:30

This is so weird! Why would he do that? When you say he ‘opened it’, do you mean these gifts were actually wrapped? He’s either spectacularly stupid or he’s being malicious for some reason.

I don’t think it’s unusual for the mothers to do the majority of planning and buying of presents, especially if they are the main carer. I do on our house. The main presents are discussed but other smaller ones and stocking fillers I just get on with! Although we have a joint account do it’s not just down to me to pay…that seems strange.

I would be utterly fuming.

HavfrueDenizKisi Wed 08-Dec-21 10:11:45

Your husband sounds like a complete idiot.

My presumption here is that this is the tip of the iceberg for shit behaviour from him.

Once is a mistake. Twice is, quite frankly, him being a complete arsehole. Deliberately.

rainbowthunder Wed 08-Dec-21 10:12:52

Unbelievable he would spoil the surprise. As others have said, do you discuss things like Christmas presents? Nearly all couple would.

The important things here are:
1. How did he react when you said you were unhappy and the presents were for Christmas day?
2. What is he like as a husband generally and do you have a happy relationship?

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