Kids asking for things they can’t have

(88 Posts)
Dirtystreetpie Mon 06-Dec-21 00:10:04

What do you tell your kids or do when their main gift they ask for from FC, that they have been encouraged to write to him and ask for, you just cannot afford?

OP’s posts: |
hivemindneeded Mon 06-Dec-21 05:47:05

What have they asked for? is it something you might be able to find second hand?

Theunamedcat Mon 06-Dec-21 06:09:06

Explain santa has the whole world to provide for he cant afford to buy big expensive gifts for everyone

ThatParent Mon 06-Dec-21 06:37:17

Who encouraged him to write and ask for it?
How old is child?

ComDummings Mon 06-Dec-21 06:41:19

Theunamedcat

Explain santa has the whole world to provide for he cant afford to buy big expensive gifts for everyone

This is what I say ^

IamChipmunk Mon 06-Dec-21 06:47:48

Mine do a list with a few things on and we have always said its a wish list not a shopping list!. We also say santa doesnt bring really expensive things as he couldn't afford toys for everyone, he doesnt bring animals, things they already have or things he knows wouldn't fit in the house!

Agree with the second hand option. Facebook or Ebay. Is there a smaller/similar version you could get. If you know its definitely not an option then I would start managing expectations and start directing them to what they can have. Most of my kids list is things Ive pointed out to them!

Pascha Mon 06-Dec-21 06:52:59

Depends on the age really. Young children can be fobbed off with Santa doesn't have those kinds of things but now mine are 11 and 8 and don't believe I'm just straight with them. There's a budget and if what they ask is silly money they are told so.

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WildStallyn Mon 06-Dec-21 07:00:59

In our house mum and dad buy the main present (and if they ask for something unsuitable or over budget we tell them so).

Father Christmas fills their sacks with smaller bits - a couple of £10-20 items from their lists and then the small stocking fillers (book, stationary, sweets, that kind of thing).

hiredandsqueak Mon 06-Dec-21 07:14:38

Father Christmas only fills stockings here so if it was something too expensive or unsuitable then I'd explain and point them in the direction of something else.

Honeymint Mon 06-Dec-21 07:14:56

As a child I asked for a donkey every year. A real one. I asked my parents, I wished on stars, I put it on every Christmas list until I was about 7.

I was never particular upset that I didn’t get one, I don’t know why, maybe I was distracted by my other gifts enough to forget?
I know my friend wanted a giraffe when she was little. My cousin kept asking for a real reindeer, my aunt took him to a petting zoo instead and he seemed happy.

I think the point I’m trying to make is none of us were that upset about not getting those things. All of our parents would tell us a lot in the run up to Christmas that they didn’t think Father Christmas would be able to bring us those things - maybe that helped in not getting our hopes up?

UnLunDun Mon 06-Dec-21 07:21:23

We’ve only ever done “suggestions” for things they’d like, also it has to be the size to fit in a stocking and nothing that has a plug! I’ve had 30 years and seven children doing this, they’ve all loved Christmas. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive this way…favourites have included suggestions of a blue and white swirly lollipop, Lego, a Ukulele and tuner, Indiana Jones’s whip, a disco ball.
Anything big comes from us, always.

dementedpixie Mon 06-Dec-21 07:25:43

We used to say that Santa brought the gifts but we paid for them so if we didn't have the money they couldn't get the expensive gifts

updownroundandround Mon 06-Dec-21 07:32:33

I'd explain to the child that because Santa has to get every child a gift, they couldn't ask for a 'big' or 'expensive' gift, because that would mean another child would have to get a 'smaller' one.

When I told my kids this, I used a cake to explain i.e if you divide it up equally, then all the kids get a 'fair' share, but if you cut some big pieces, then it means the others have to get less.

It worked well with mine. (I also told them that Santa couldn't give live animals as gifts as they would chew all the other gifts in Santa's sack grin, and this worked great too)

S2617 Mon 06-Dec-21 07:33:53

Tell them no the spend time with them. Children adore time and experience more than materials.

If they are still focused on these large expensive things then show them people who have little or nothing to change their view of the world.

LakeShoreD Mon 06-Dec-21 07:39:08

This is why I think it’s better to tell them that Santa does the stockings, not the big gifts under the tree. Also kids ask for all sorts of unsuitable things, in our family we’ve had requests for a real car and live zoo animals, so no they won’t be getting everything on their list.

User00000000 Mon 06-Dec-21 07:44:36

How old are they? We have told ours that Santa does their stocking and a couple of small things, big presents come from us. Then its easier to be honest and just say it's too expensive and give them some more realistic ideas. Could you change to doing it this way?

santasmuma Mon 06-Dec-21 07:49:01

Mine have never made a list or asked for anything. The biggest part of our Christmas is still the surprise element and 2 of the DC are adults now. It's served me well over the years - some years I have known straight away what they would like, especially as their 'main' present, but other years I don't have much of a clue. DS got a gaming PC last year so he did know about it as I wanted his input re spec etc but aside from that they don't usually have a clue what's coming.

FedUpAtHomeTroels Mon 06-Dec-21 07:49:47

We told our children that Santa sends us the bill for whatever he brings so only brings things we can afford. They still asked for daft expensive stuff.
Never stopped me asking for a pony every year

OnlyFoolsnMothers Mon 06-Dec-21 07:51:27

This is why Father Christmas has only ever given stockings/ all larger presents are from us and if it’s too expensive it’s too expensive.

Christmas1988 Mon 06-Dec-21 07:52:12

My children think I have to send money to him to buy the gifts. This might be the way to go

MisgenderedSwan Mon 06-Dec-21 07:53:33

Mine know their letter is a list of 'requests and suggestions' - I've always made clear that Santa has to get for everyone in the world so he doesn't have an unlimited budget and space on the sleigh. The magic is the spirit of the season - not everyone getting what they ask for. We give to the food bank etc in the run up and talk about how not everyone gets the same Christmas. I think it helps, they are grateful and happy and hopefully when they find out Santa isn't real they will understand the spirit and joy lives on. They are 9 and 7 (pretty sure the 9yo is humouring us 😂)

VaguelyInteresting Mon 06-Dec-21 07:59:44

The Christmas list is to give Father Christmas ideas.

Mummies and daddies and other grown ups help out by buying things too.

Father Christmas has to have the right materials and enough room in his sleigh for ALL the children to get some thing(s), so he can’t bring everything.

Mummy has a fixed and limited budget.

DS is 5, and every day there’s “oh I forgot about .....”. Some stuff is ££££££ some is pennies- but as he understands now that he’s unlikely to get everything he wants, I let him ramble on without managing his expectations too actively.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme Mon 06-Dec-21 08:01:02

Dirtystreetpie Santa brings stockings - he just passes big present requests on to parents (and grandparents if applicable).

Telling children that a magical being can bring them anything they desire is obviously a complete recipe for upset if they believe it!

Jumpingintochristmas Mon 06-Dec-21 08:51:39

In our house Santa fills stockings and brings one small tree present, ie. a barbie doll or a rugby ball.
The DC have always written to request one small gift and surprises.

It is your job to manage expectations, a large expensive gift is not something Santa would bring. Perhaps something to save for with birthday/Christmas money or simply out of budget. I can assure you this is normal.

stargirl1701 Mon 06-Dec-21 09:04:20

We always said elves can only make toys. They have a traditional workshop (not a factory) and traditional materials.

And, it is against UK law for FC to bring live animals.

We wanted to keep FC gifts reasonable.

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