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Is 10 presents still considered awful?

(89 Posts)
CloudyVanilla Thu 14-May-20 21:55:13

Just wanting some perspective as I'm already planning Christmas!

So I googled "10 Christmas presents" and the most popular results all seem to say this is cruel/stingy/a let down...

I have 3 DC, ages this Christmas will be 5, just turned 3 and nearly 1. I'm wondering if 10 presents each from us, plus a stocking, plus about 4 - 5 presents each from family is enough, or would you consider this a disappointment?

I'm not overly concerned about money, as in I am low income but I can budget and save enough to buy more, I'm just wondering what the general mindset is these days especially once DC have started school...

I'm mainly doing the math, 30 presents in total, averaging a about £30 per present is £1200 already!! That's an awful lot of money and that's not even including the stocking.

I try not to think of pile size but I do want it to be magical, exciting and relatively normal, as in not dramatically different from what the average child in their class is going to get.

I'm so sorry for totalling rambling, basically I'm asking if 10 presents from parents is generally considered possibly average, way below average or plenty! I have a feeling it is I adequate but I also have quite a small house and there is just so much stuff. They all have autumn/winter birthdays too so will be getting presents then as well!

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BuffaloCauliflower Thu 14-May-20 21:58:13

That sounds great, possibly even too much with a stocking as well. I’d focus on the presents being right rather than an exact number though, it doesn’t need to be identical to be fair. I’m one of 3 and we certainly never counted each other’s presents growing up, and sometimes one of us got something bigger than another (one sibling and I also had winter birthdays so was always fair.

guineapig1 Thu 14-May-20 22:05:17

10 is plenty! Ours are a little older and generally have 1/2 main presents each (recent examples are hornby trainset/ harry potter lego/ paw patrol lookout etc), accessories to go with main gifts and then smaller gifts to do with hobbies (rugby/ ballet/ swimming) plus jigsaws, craft stuff, puzzles, books, pyjamas etc but no more than 8-10 each in all

Sometimes we also do family gifts - swingball/tranpoline/board games

BackHomeAgain Thu 14-May-20 22:05:34

My two dc get 1 bigger present then 3-5 smaller presents plus stockings. We spend approx £100-150 each in total on all that I’d say. We don’t have a large family but they prob get another 6-8 presents from grandparents/aunts/uncles.

Every year we say it’s too much.

And fwiw I’d consider us to be a high income family.

fruitbrewhaha Thu 14-May-20 22:13:48

10? I consider us well off, nice house in expensive part of country a couple of holidays abroad, various cars, campervan and we do not buy 10 presents at £30 each. We buy one biggish gift, varying in price dependent on what they want, and then some smaller things, stocking presents are normally colouring pens, stationery, nice soap.

Why do you want to spend so much that you will have to save up for. Why do you want to buy a load of stuff and fill up your house. You will chucking it out in a year to do it all again.

I just don't understand the need to spoil kids with masses of stuff. Use the money to get things for them throughout the year as and when they need things. At some point you will need to buy some big ticket items like bikes. Spend the money on experiences, holidays, days out (when we can again).

CloudyVanilla Thu 14-May-20 22:15:15

Thank you, I feel much better halo

I would never say it to her but I think my mum grew up quite poor so I think she compensated but us having big piles of presents and I always get the impression she wants my DC to have huge piles too bless her, but I just don't really want to do that for several reasons. We also do Christmas eve boxes with pajamas and bedtime story and hot chocolate so that's also an extra thing. I feel way better now thank you

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fruitbrewhaha Thu 14-May-20 22:16:19

Also kids get more expensive as they get older with hobbies and activities for example joining a rugby club or gym club. Save our money until then.

daisypond Thu 14-May-20 22:18:10

Ten presents, not including stockings or ones from relatives, is loads. Too many. Ours have one or two.

CloudyVanilla Thu 14-May-20 22:18:41

@fruitbrewhaha we do that stuff too, expect holidays abroad, I always prioritise my money to benefit the kids, I don't want to spoil them but due to my own childhood I have a skewed view of what is normal and I just feel genuinely conflicted with my rational will to just have a nice christmas with thoughtful presents vs my residual urge to make sure they have a pile of presents.

I know it sounds insecure because it is! But I've gotten reassurance from you posters that it is not stingy (stuff I read online said it was) and I'm happy to do things a bit more low key.

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fruitbrewhaha Thu 14-May-20 22:19:30

I see and understand that from your Mum's perspective she was trying to give you what she didn't have. But stuff doesn't make you happy. Have a good Christmas OP grin

caramac04 Thu 14-May-20 22:19:49

£100-£150 per child is plenty. Some parents spend far less than that, others spend much more.
Children value your time above material stuff although they’d obviously be disappointed with a lump of coal and an orange on Christmas Day.
Spend what you can reasonably afford and listen throughout the preceding months and buy something they really want.
My kids always wondered how I knew exactly what to buy but I listened to them - and I was always lowish budget

CloudyVanilla Thu 14-May-20 22:20:14

Except*

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HairyToity Thu 14-May-20 22:21:14

Ours get about 3 each plus stocking. Christmas expenditure per child varies hugely depending on what they ask for.

CloudyVanilla Thu 14-May-20 22:22:36

Thank you everyone, yes I don't think the 11 month old will need £200 worth of stuff, maybe I need to sleep before posting next time halo

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StrictlyAFemaleFemale Thu 14-May-20 22:24:51

My DC get one from us, one biggish one from santa and then from family members. Quite often they get a season pass for something ehich doesnt necessarily translate into something to open.

Bumpsadaisie Thu 14-May-20 22:27:09

Ours get one main present around 40-50. One second present about 20.
One or two smaller presents eg pyjamas, annual, little Lego figure.

Plus a stocking which is mainly sweets/choc but one or two stocking filler type presents.

Rarely there might be a bumper year where they get a bike and or electronics eg an iPad mini. But that's rare!

user3274826 Thu 14-May-20 22:29:11

I aim for about 10 with mine plus a generous srocking. But its usually a bit more than 10 with lots of books if I'm honest. I think it's more than enough and will be making an effort to try and keep under 10 this year personally.

HollowTalk Thu 14-May-20 22:29:51

I think what's nice is to get the children to buy something for everyone in the family - nothing expensive. It's nice to open those presents at a different time on Christmas Day and for everyone to have a present from everyone there. And it guarantees you some presents! Mine used to love that - choosing what to buy, helping to wrap them in secret etc.

Stuckforthefourthtime Thu 14-May-20 22:31:13

The MN rhyme is a bit twee but I like it as a starting point - something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read. We do new pyjamas the night before but no Christmas box, it just feels like another reason to spend money and fill the house with more stuff that they won't even remember after new year.

We do one big present plus a couple of small ones for birthdays, Christmas is much smaller. Usually 2-4 'proper' presents then stocking fillers, which used to be plastic tat but I'm trying to be more eco, so last year I did some nice snacks, homemade baking kits for my older two, new mugs, some craft things and balls (I have 4 DSs, I think stocking fillers are often much easier with girls!)

We're quite comfortably off, and I wouldn't dream of spending £1200 on kids presents. More like £100-£150 each. I spent almost nothing on my 1 year old last year, he got new pyjamas and then I wrapped up some of his big brothers' old toys that had been in storage so were new to him, and he was beside himself with excitement 😊

It's a crazy time, save the money for a rainy day, or even better if you're on a low income, spend a bit on yourself as I bet you're skimping to give the kids the best and nothing for yourself. My mum did that all through childhood, now I look back I realise she was so pretty and loved makeup and glamour and wish she'd bought herself some treats too, like a lovely lipstick every now and then, or a beautiful ornament for her bedroom, or a special night out with her own mum...

DianaT1969 Thu 14-May-20 22:33:54

I think 10 would be mean and you should spend at least £45,000 on each child. That's the meaning of Christmas, don't you know?
Such great timing for this thread as so many are on less income or laid off. It's very nice of you to try to cheer them up! Get busy buying those plastic toys from China before everyone beats you to it.

CloudyVanilla Thu 14-May-20 22:34:53

What lovely ideas, thank you all so much!

I do go without and I also like to be glammed up and miss doing that, my DP and mum are good at making up for my unwillingness to treat myself though halo

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Nanalisa60 Thu 14-May-20 22:37:35

More then enough, especially if you have other friends and family buying as well.
I alway gave one present from Santa (he usual bought the best thing like a bike or what ever was wanted that year) one good present from us (mum & Dad) then couple of smaller thing from us (stocking fillers) not that many, then with what the rest of the family bought still always felt to much!!
Children value your time and experience more then stuff.
Always went to panto at Christmas, In Fact we still do Go as a family, I always splash out and get good seats a couple of days before Christmas Day. As my granddaughter says it out family Christmas tradition!! This might be the first time in over thirty years that we won’t go. I bought the tickets in January as I always do.

CloudyVanilla Thu 14-May-20 22:37:57

Oh piss off Diana this is the year round Christmas thread its VERY clear before clicking that it's about Christmas presents.

Honestly get over yourself we are allowed to continue on living. I'm already fucking poor and in a one income family I don't need to be told how hard it is. Honestly ibe been so stressed which is why I'm already planning and was actually feeling better from the responses and the you come along just to be a smarmy cunt

Hope you are proud of yourself angry

Don't bother responding I'm leaving the thread.

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Aroundtheworldin80moves Thu 14-May-20 22:41:49

We've spent between £50-£150 per child at previous Christmases. We get them what they would like/need. 4 or 5 presents. Sometimes their 'pile' (hate that word!) Is bulked out with stuff they need but not necessarily chose, like ski gear.

Buy them what you want to buy them and can afford to buy them. What other buy their kids is basically irrelevant. Ours get loads from family, we have no need to buy loads of toys. In other families, the only presents come from parents. Other families rely on toy banks to get their kids just a couple of presents.

Gingerkittykat Thu 14-May-20 22:43:17

30 gifts plus stocking fillers plus 15 presents from family is an awful lot of stuff to find places for in your house.

For a 4 or 5 year old I would get something like a bike or scooter then 3 or 4 extras and the baby doesn't need much at all.

You are right not to get sucked into the competition of who can pile their couch highest with presents on Facebook!

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