Doing fancy Christmas stuff for small family?

[Shantotto]

Hope this makes sense! I love Christmas, I want to get loads of food, cooks delicous things, tons of decorations, fancy wrapping etc etc... but there's only DP and 3yo DS! DP would be genuinely happy to never get a gift for the rest of his life whereas I LOVE presents! Seems a waste to only wrap his few things extravagantly and he's not that into Christmas.

Families are hundreds and hundreds of miles away so we don't travel up often as very expensive even though still in UK. Small gifts are bought online and sent direct so no wrapping opportunities!

We do have friends nearby but we've never been the sort of friendship group to throw Christmas parties! I could change that I guess but our lives are so different it's hard to all get together. The neighbours would never pop round or what have you.

Anyone out there who goes all out for a small family? Feels like a waste of money really. Any tips for small budget extravagance welcome!

[Shantotto]

Like I was just looking at the Christmas cooking thread. Everything sounds fab! But who would eat it? Our freezer would be full for months!

[goose1964]

We could be between 3 and 6 of us. I always make a Christmas cake, even if it lasts to February. DH still buys students as if we're having big family Christmases of years ago. We've eaten crisps bought for Christmas in August.

I find homemade treats tend to get eaten faster so you can still make stuff but in smaller quantities

[CrazyBaubles]

For us it's generally only me and DH for food etc. We don't buy lots but we do go for top quality, on the things that matter to us (Turkey, wine, cheese). It's not wasted as we both spread the feast out over a week and enjoy it immensely.

For presents, I love wrapping and have family to wrap for but I don't go overboard as they'd think I was a bit nuts (they're of the belief it's not worth it as it gets ripped straight off).
To get my wrapping kicks, I'm involved in a charity enterprise in work - a few of us charge 50p or £1 to wrap a present. My company match whatever we 'earn' and it gets donated to a local charity. For that I do all the flourishes I want

For decs, I think you should have however many you are happy with. I personally aim for it to make me do a happy sigh when I get home from work. I'm well aware it's a bit overdone (especially as we do not have dc) but I don't care I fully decorated my student houses and am fondly remembered as the person who turned the house into a grotto

I should add, my parents have always gone completely overboard with everything and I'm sure people thought they were bonkers but memories of childhood christmases (tins upon time of roses for breakfast & 6 trees all fully decorated) make me happy. Me and Dsis loved it all!

[SnuggyBuggy]

I always end up with excess baked stuff. Might start donating it to colleagues.

[TalkingOrmer]

We’re a family of three too and I love the indulgence of Christmas so this year I’m thinking of putting a FB post up asking if anyone is on their own and wants to come to us for Xmas lunch.
I live away from my home country and one year I was on my own on Christmas Day as everyone presumed I had plans 🙁

Then I can enjoy all the hosting.

[GandalfsWrinklyHat]

M&s christmas food - fab! Christmas in our house starts the day the catalogue comes out!

[SassitudeandSparkle]

Yep, we go full out for the three of us! Lots of decorations, big real tree, wrapped gifts, lights up inside and outside and my DD has her own tree in her room.

Baking and stuff - that can be scaled down and I put mince pies and sausage rolls in the freezer ready to cook - freeze them separately so you can just take a few out at a time or I'll eat them but I do a full Christmas dinner and DH insists on a whole turkey rather than just a breast (bits of this do end up in the freezer if we are travelling to see family after Christmas. We have our foodie festive fixtures, buffet tea for Christmas Day and Nigella's gammon in coke for Boxing Day.

If we know anyone is on their own, we usually invite them round for a drink on Christmas Day in the evening.

The last couple of years we have picked our tree from a tree farm, you wander among the trees, pick the one you want and they cut it down and you drag it off to the car. There is also a farm near us that sometimes has dog sleds to carry your tree to your car.

[Allthepinkunicorns]

There's only 3 off us and we go all out every Christmas. This year we are having a Christmas meal out so we won't have to keep all the food for Christmas dinner but I will certainly be buying tons of food to eat over the Christmas period. I'm normally still eating the food up till Easter

[RayneDance]

I have gone all-out too but we don't do a big shop anymore... Too much food.

But in terms of decorations... It's wild in here

[HollyBollyBooBoo]

3 of us here as well. I satisfy my Christmas baking urge by taking things into work...we've just started on the more autumnal recipes with Apple cinnamon blondies, went down a treat!

[Alanamackree]

I think it would be wise to scale back your concept of “loads of food” or think along the lines of “loads of different types of food”. If you’ve been around people buying for huge families your sense of “loads” might be six boxes of mince pies, whereas in your situation one box is loads, particularly with a small pudding, small cake, expensive chocs and a small tin of biscuits. But I can imagine that if you’re trying to capture a feeling of abundance and indulgence you could end up with a huge cake, an enormous pudding etc
On the other hand if there are things that you’re happy to eat indefinitely then go for those things specifically. A huge part of dh’s Christmas happiness lies in having a big turkey and ham for leftovers. He sighs with contentment when he opens the fridge on Boxing Day. And he would gnaw away on the carcass for a month if he was let! Fortunately he works long hours in the run up to Christmas and doesn’t get involved in the shopping because he would buy massive loads of everything. Because I know which things really matter to him, I can focus on giving him that sense of “loads” without ending up swamped in mouldy food

My freezer is an essential part of Christmas. Around October I start making a conscious effort to clear it out, so we eat from the freezer as much as possible. Mid November I start cooking for the freezer, filling it with single portion dinners (they defrost quickly) and goodies. If I need to entertain on the fly, I’m set, and if not I have yummy easy dinners stocked up. After Christmas I freeze as much as I can. And we pretty much live out of the freezer til March. It’s not a problem because it’s planned.

Some of my Christmas indulgence gets channeled into oomphing up our normal food with spices (eg adding cinnamon, vanilla and mixed spice to waffle batter or pancakes). I also like to buy a really nice wine, or chocolates rather than a crate of cheaper wine and tins of roses. There is still a feeling of luxury without the excess or waste. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that there can be more than one way to create the feeling of indulgence and plenty.

Even though we host on Christmas Day, most of what I do for Christmas is based on our own family. Decorations are up from the beginning of dec, and added to with crafts throughout, the smells and sounds of the house change. DH would be happy with a small sparsely decorated tree and a wreath on the door so it’s his turn to be at my excess. Since I’m the one who puts the work into this, and since it doesn’t really bother him, I take no heed. But I do pack away carefully so that if I’m not up to it, I can grab the main bits. I’m not sure how much I’d do if there were only two of us; a lot of my motivation is giving the dc a magical experience, and more than I had as a child.

It strikes me that your DH’s approach to Christmas is fundamentally different to yours. Have you any idea why he feels as he does? Or what his Christmas was like as a child?

[Shantotto]

Thank you everybody for your replies! I'm so sorry for my late reply!

I want to go all out but I'm also kind of lazy so going to effort for smaller amounts isn't very appealing. 😬

I think I'll make sure there's lots of freezer space and make sure I go for things that freeze well.

We do like a ham and don't do turkey. Our last couple of Christmas dinners have gone a bit wrong as we don't tend to roast near often year round so DP has incinerated a duck and dried out a rib of beef. This year I'm insisting on a couple of practice runs.

A good suggestion is to still make all the effort decorating wise for my own pleasure and DS will be 3.5 so he'll be much more into it.

@Alanamackree Oh I feel like I've made poor DP into a right old grinch! I think he's happy with his lot really so doesn't feel the need for people to buy him stuff for the sake of it? He just had pretty normal christmases as far as I know! He has a lot of aunts and uncles so lots of visiting happened and he's quite a homebody these days. He makes the effort for DS. And he's always indulged me to go and pick out our Christmas tree on the first of December! Maybe I'm doing him down, he'd like nice wrapping. But I feel other people might more, heh. I'm tempted to order the few presents we do get for others here to extravagantly wrap and then pop in a box and courier them cheaply together.

I'm going to do lots of fun Christmas activities in December make the most of the next couple before I have to unwillingly send DS off to school! Anyone got suggestions for things to pop in a jar to pull out?

Oh and colleagues for baking is a good idea! I did it once when gainfully employed but now I'm a SAHM. DS would like it if I did it for the people who worked in the Lego shop and the bin men though.

[letsdolunch321]

Eating out this year again, no faff, no stress makes “letsdolunch” a happy lady 😁

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

Can't you invite your families over to your house? It sounds like that'd give you the perfect excuse to go berserk and have the festive house/meal/presents you'd like.

[DrWhy]

Do baking for the people in the Lego shop and the bin men if you’d enjoy it and your DS would like to give it to them! Random acts of kindness at Christmas, it might well get enjoyed and even if it gets discretely binned you and DS have had fun in the process!

[Stompythedinosaur]

Are you a member of any playgroups or other groups that do a Christmas party and need baking done? Or bake things, put in a box and give to neighbours? In a year's time I bet there'll be school events you can bake for.

You can set up a hot choc bar for your small family maybe - tiny marshmallows, candy canes, different flavours of hot choc.

Could you make handmade cards with your ds to send to family and friends?

Wrapping and decorations are for your benefit only really. I do them anyway!

[Shantotto]

@whatsgoingoneh We are going to try and invite to us but this will have to be next year. My parents live in the Outer Hebrides and travel is crazy crazy expensive! I want to offer to pay towards it but couldn't til then and I don't think they'd accept! DP's parents are in Fife so not as far but they have big extended family and I think they like seeing them all. I'd love to be able to host them and SIL, BIL and kids but I think we'd need to move house first as our pokey two bed wouldn't really work.

@stompythedinosaur I didn't make any of toddler group Christmas parties last year but that's a good idea. I love the hot choc bar idea I can finally use my Christmas ikea tray that I have no other use for! And have a reason to buy festive mugs! Last year I did make decorations and cards for the grannies but as someone who claims to be Christmas mad I don't send that many cards! 🙄 I've finally made some mum friends so that's a couple of new people who would appreciate baked goods! Now my only issue is to do this baking around an incredibly uhm, spirited 3 year old!

@drwhy I'll definitely do Lego shop guys - sure you can get Lego cutters so we could do festive biscuits or something. We almost got them a tin of biscuits when it was DS birthday as we go in there so so much and they always talk to us and are super nice.

@letsdolunch321 Attempting to have a lovely and expensive meal out with DS makes me on edge of nervous breakdown- maybe one for when he moves out!

[DrWhy]

My DM who appears to have much more patience than me has managed to make a couple of perfectly passable batches of rock buns with the assistance of a spirited nearly 2 year old! I reckon if you channel his energy into weighing, measuring and mixing it can be done! Just make sure the toddler is clean to start with as his hands will go in everything and accept that the kitchen will look like an explosion in a cake factory afterwards! You might want to get your DH to bring fish and chips home for tea!

[Alanamackree]

From what I remember of baking with 3 year olds the key is very low expectations!!! I have plastic steps from Ikea so they could stand up to the counter. Usually someone would get a bit obsessed with sieving flour and do that over and over, or beating the eggs and not want to actually put them in the mixture
One of mine loved to "wash up" afterwards so I'd spread the bath towels around him and put them in the wash afterwards.
It's useful to have a dvd or an activity that will keep them occupied when they get bored to give you a chance to finish the baking/ really wash up/ clean egg off the ceiling and a damp cloth to grab and ambush with before the dirty hands get anywhere they can do real damage!

you don't have to do it all in one go either - you can make cookie dough today and pop it in the fridge or freezer, roll it out tomorrow and bake it. decorate them the evening or the next day

It sounds awful, written down, and it is! But I love baking with mine. I used to draw some of the recipes in a copy book (eg.3 eggs on a page, picture of eggs breaking in bowl on next, picture of whisk...etc) and sometimes they would do a lot of the recipe themselves, sometimes they just rearranged the baking tray drawer and stacked the cookie cutters