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A 'help me use my nice Christmas things' thread for women like me who are scared to own lovely things

(377 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

sarahjconnor Thu 28-Dec-17 21:05:37

Sorry for the long winded title.

A year or so ago I was support by, and in turn supported, amazingly kind and wonderful women who, like me struggled with material possessions and feeling 'good enough'.

I did well then, but have slipped into old habits and was seeking support to use my lovely Christmas scarf on Style and Beauty yesterday where I came to the conclusion that I should do another thread to see if there are more hard working fantastic women hoarding their nice xmas things whilst they were rags and drink from chipped mugs.

So women, gather your special things, I'm on a mission. Who's with me?

kateclarke Thu 28-Dec-17 22:54:52

I remember that thread.

I got some lush bath melts for Christmas, am going to use one tomorrow instead of leaving them in a drawer for a year.

ParadiseCity Thu 28-Dec-17 22:57:29

I'm in!! Tomorrow I am chucking out all my old lotions and potions and will start actually using new decent ones instead of letting them go out of date! One of these days I might even use one of my many lovely notebooks.

TinkysWinky Thu 28-Dec-17 22:59:55

I am in. I hid away all my new candles yesterday which I shouldnt have done and have a new laura ashley notebook and pen I was given recently for my birthday... still in the gift bag lest they get marked

DramaAlpaca Thu 28-Dec-17 23:01:23

I remember the previous thread.

I'm going to lurk quietly for tips & encouragement as this is me too.

Geepee71 Thu 28-Dec-17 23:03:26

Oh great thread! I need to give away/sort stuff and also start using new lovely things

dontcallmelen Thu 28-Dec-17 23:05:16

I remember the thread too, it made me unwrap one of my jo malone candles, I really need to start wearing some of the nice clothes I have rather than, saving for ‘best’ which invariably never happens.

ThePinkPanter Thu 28-Dec-17 23:24:32

You are all worth lovely new things! Use them before they get dusty and lose their lovely newness!

sarahjconnor Fri 29-Dec-17 07:18:40

Thank you! I wore my scarf on Wednesday and yesterday! I have placed a new candle on the hearth to light tonight - courage!

QuestionableMouse Fri 29-Dec-17 07:34:39

I bet it smells wonderful and just think how cosy it'll be!

FiveShelties Fri 29-Dec-17 07:39:39

I have lots of lovely notebooks and usually use bits of scrap paper - no idea why I am saving them.

sarahjconnor Fri 29-Dec-17 08:31:06

@FiveShelties Can you pick one notebook to start for the new year? What can you use it for? TTD lists or something more exciting. Do you have a nice pen to use?

sarahjconnor Fri 29-Dec-17 08:39:22

@kateclarke When are you going to have your bath? Those bath melts go weird and rock hard after a year and dont work properly (I discovered the hard way) - so definitely use them asap smile

@ParadiseCity so many lovely unused notebooks! NY resolution must be to use them. Perhaps to write NY's resolutions!

@TinkysWinky No hoarding and hiding. We're in this together and my candle is unwrapped - there is no turning back. We need to use all these notebooks!

Notebooks are terrifying because I spoil the first page with scribbling or spelling mistakes. I am going to ask my 3 year old nephew to write his name in the first page of my special notebook so I cannot be responsible for it and his mistakes are adorably cute and I'll love it so that's it! Notebook is in the handbag for later.

I am terrified but committed.

smurfy2015 Fri 29-Dec-17 09:26:02

Can i join in? I was given a diary for xmas with a matching pen to keep in my handbag so i can put appts in there as needed and when i started writing out regular appts into it yesterday, i wrote something in the wrong spot and was so cross at myself

I will get over this, so i will

sarahjconnor Fri 29-Dec-17 09:32:11

That's ok smurfy. Now you've made a mistake you can use it to help recover from perfectionism and appreciate yourself as you are. The diary is for you to organise your appointments not for you to be perfect. Enjoy

HolgerDanske Fri 29-Dec-17 09:33:35

I think using one of those lovely notebooks as a loving yourself journal (in whatever respect you might need it) for 2018 would be a lovely gift to yourself.

OP, I remember that thread from last year. I remember the depth of sadness I felt on your behalf and how wonderful it was to imagine you getting some joy out of your lovely things. It’s a very healing thing to do, to let go of psychological burdens that keep us trapped and fearful.

I also read your thread about your beautiful scarf in S&B, and was so pleased for you - the joy when you wore your scarf and felt on top of the world!

We all only exist in this moment, there is only now. Let’s not waste it.

TheSameCoin Fri 29-Dec-17 09:34:54

I am going to use my loccitaine (sp?) shower gel from last Christmas. It’s been sitting in a drawer waiting for an appropriate ‘special occasion’ for a year now. I will open it as soon as my current one is used up. Then I will use my lovely posh soap I got for this Christmas.

fussychica Fri 29-Dec-17 09:43:03

This is me too, though I am not drinking from chipped mugs or wearing rags. However, I do have a Burt Bees gift set I treated myself to a couple of years ago still sitting unopened in the draw and I have to use every lotion and potion to the last drip before I give myself permission to open a new one.
I have several clothing items which I'm saving for a special occasion but always seem to find a excuse to wear something else -think it might get splashed with fat as I'm cooking, someone might knock into me and spill their drink. Madness!!
My DH is always encouraging me to buy, wear and use new stuff but........

Hippywannabe Fri 29-Dec-17 10:06:20

Just lit one of my 20 plus beautiful candles. I am going to enjoy my things!
A recent operation/illness has caused weightloss (hurrah!) But given me the push to keep going. I have 6 huge 80litre size boxes of too small clothes that I will get into and wear this year and enjoy!!

Dozer Fri 29-Dec-17 10:10:06

I have a beautiful small notebook from 2009! Nothing seems worthy of putting in it. Have got it out and hope to think of a way to use it. “Bullet journal” maybe?

Didiusfalco Fri 29-Dec-17 10:20:42

I loved that thread last year op. I’ve been doing really well as using up consumables since, but now I think about it I’ve not been using my new mugs...

HermionesRightHook Fri 29-Dec-17 10:36:35

You all deserve your nice things and you deserve to use them. Nice things are ephemeral by nature and you can't cling onto them - the smell fades, they may go off, they lose their colour. The notebook becomes loaded with too much potential to use.

So allow yourself the pleasure of using them. Promise yourself you will. If you're waiting till something runs out that's fine, but go and get the nice shower gel or the fancy soap NOW and put it next to the one you're using up so you can open it that very moment.

If you have a new mug, go and a make a cup of tea in it immediately. The first use is the hardest so don't think, go and do it.

Light the candle. Open the soap. Take the cellophane off the notebook. Scrawl 'I love David Bowie' on some scrap paper 50 times with the new pen then write 'My Notebook' and the date on the inside page of the nice new one. Put your mum's birthday in your new diary.

Actually bugger that. Put your OWN birthday in your new diary, because you deserve to be the first one and you deserve to use your nice things.

FiveShelties Fri 29-Dec-17 10:47:27

@sarahjconnor - I have selected a Notebook and it is to be my thoughts etc as I try to reduce my wine consumption and lose a few pounds over the next couple of months!

Silly not to use stuff really - life is so very, very short.

ParadiseCity Fri 29-Dec-17 12:06:28

On the notebook subject I have prob 5 nice ones. I did get out a semi nice one a few months ago and have used it for scribbling anything in that I used to write on back of envelope. It's been great and actually I think when it's used up i will do this with a naice one. No need to fill it full of hopes and dreams and ambitions I can just enjoy using it for normal shite and recycle when done.

HolgerDanske Fri 29-Dec-17 12:10:09

Paradise I totally agree! No need to put pressure on yourself. It’s a notebook. Literally nothing more than bits of paper put together for the purpose of writing on, and scribbles/shite is just as good a use as any.

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