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Conversation now, or afterwards?

(17 Posts)
YoureAllABunchOfBastards Fri 17-Nov-17 18:28:18

DS1 will be 11 just before Christmas. He insists that he still believes in Santa. I can’t work out if this is true or if he is bluffing me really, really well. We have the same conversations about the characters at Disney - so we all say we met the real Donald Duck, for example, and pour scorn on people who say it is just a bloke dressed up. Again, not entirely sure if he is playing me....

So, do I have the talk about this before Christmas, or afterwards? I’m torn between honesty and worrying about spoiling Christmas...

Justbookedasummmerholiday Fri 17-Nov-17 18:30:35

Why spoil it? Christmas is all about the magic!!

AuntieStella Fri 17-Nov-17 18:30:42

Why on earth do you need to have a talk at all?

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Fri 17-Nov-17 20:17:50

Because he’s in Y6 and if he really does believe he’s going to get the piss ripped out of him soon!

NoWordForFluffy Fri 17-Nov-17 20:49:56

After. Might as well let him have one last Christmas if he genuinely does believe! 🎅🎅🎅

DownTheChimney Sat 18-Nov-17 14:36:53

Let him have one more Christmas believing, tell him before secondary school though fwink

Supermagicsmile Sat 18-Nov-17 14:37:50

Don't spoil it for him!!

Swirlingasong Sat 18-Nov-17 14:54:18

Let him believe. I remember going on for years 'believing' for my mum and dad when I knew really. I just didn't want to let go of the magic, if you see what I mean. It was never a problem at school because school and Christmas eve with my family didn't ever mix. No need for a big talk.

Peachypeaches Sat 18-Nov-17 17:07:59

I just said to my son, now that you're 11 do we need to have a talk about Santa? He just shook his head, grinned at me and said he'd figured it out a couple of years before. He's nearly 16 now, and we still do stockings and put a drink and mince pie out for Santa on Christmas Eve. He also insists on reading 'Twas the Night Before Christmas still too, except he reads it to us now instead of us reading it to him!!

PineConesAplenty Sat 18-Nov-17 19:53:46

I had a true believer in year 6, some boys at school spoiled it for him 2 weeks before Christmas but he still joined in the magic because he has a younger brother.

When Ds2 was in year 5, there were quite a few gobby kids mouthing off about it in the playground so I expected the same conversation. But no, he still genuinely believed.

We waited until after Christmas but before school started again to tell him. He was heart broke but understood our reasons for telling him. Rather us than some child at school.

They are older now but we still do stockings from Father Christmas and still give £1 from the tooth fairy. It's a tradition.

singadream Sat 18-Nov-17 20:22:22


singadream Sat 18-Nov-17 20:22:50

But leave some clues. Maybe let him hear you do it or see the scraps of wrapping paper in the bin or forget to eat the mince pie etc

youarenotkiddingme Sat 18-Nov-17 20:26:11

Let him have Christmas as he wants it.

My ds still believes and isnt having me on because he gets irrationally annoyed at his peers for saying it's a load of crap!

Whether that's physically believes or if he believes in the magic - I'm not sure? But why spoil it? He's happy and likes discussing it and I like that he loves Christmas. (Because I do too!)

Not sure it helps me though as ds met santa in Lapland when he was 6 so actually has a tangible person to pin this on and talk about 🙈

DownTheChimney Sat 18-Nov-17 23:32:58

But leave some clues
Yes, and lots of winks when talking about FC, maybe leave a price tag on - that way it's not such a shock. My ds was gutted when I told him sad

ParadiseCity Sat 18-Nov-17 23:36:16

DD is the same age and loves pretending to believe. She has written a sealed Private letter to FC, the little sod! I have no idea wtf to buy her, she knows this, she knows I know she knows this... well it's more fun than ELF on the shelf I guess confused

Juanbablo Sun 19-Nov-17 07:39:18

Let him believe. Ds1 is 10 (yr 5) and showing no signs of figuring it out. He questioned 2 years ago but seemed convinced and nothing since. I think I will talk to him before next Christmas but this year he still believes.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 19-Nov-17 09:53:57

Why all the talk of telling them?

It's Christmas. It's a fun family time of year based around an imaginary character (well he did actually exist but doesn't fly around the world on a sleigh!) centred on what was originally a religious celebration. (Again still is but santa isn't iyswim?!)

So what if they want to believe in the magic?
So what if they talk about santa and leave a pie?
So what if they don't believe but just play along?

Does it actually matter?

I had a sibling 7 years my junior. I played along for a long time. My mum used to give me the eye and then a sly smile and wink when I'd accidentally make comments about things 'she'd' put in my stocking.
I left home at 18 and played along right up until then as my last Christmas at home DB was only 10!

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