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Christmas Has Talent

(20 Posts)
sarah861421 Wed 18-Oct-17 19:29:18

For various strange and complicated reasons we are having a Family has Talent competition at Christmas. 12 adults ( age 25 -65 ). Its our boxing day evening entertainment. My problem is I HAVE NO TALENT!!! Has anyone else done this, does anyone have any suggestions. I cannot sing / juggle / play an instrument etc
I was thinking of reading out a funny poem or singing ( badly ) a funny song ( though my son did point out that reading was exactly a talent ) any thoughts anyone?

TheImprobableGirl Wed 18-Oct-17 21:29:24

Everyone has a talent!

If you’re good at remembering, there’s a good chemical element song that goes through the periodic table in order,
Or the story of Harry Potter to the Harry Potter theme tune?
I can do these and I have no discernible talent!

Can you skip? Cross-skip/backwards etc? Or quickly learn how to breakdance? Maybe you are super good at cooking and can write a story/poem with them to eat the food at the particular time?

How about typing fast or drawing (could you do a flip book or a quick charicature?) maybe a puppet show doing good voices of a popular tv show (game of thrones etc?)

TheImprobableGirl Wed 18-Oct-17 21:30:41

Funny song wise, Stephen Lynch is very very funny but a little filthy for some, or maybe something by Tim Minchin?

secondhoneymoon Wed 18-Oct-17 21:42:17

any use??? ]]

secondhoneymoon Wed 18-Oct-17 21:43:49

Oops link works but I managed to delete my typing! Some Christmas poems

RJnomore1 Wed 18-Oct-17 21:45:47

Pmsl @ "quickly learn to break dance"

Such optimism.

Can you bake op?

MintChocAddict Wed 18-Oct-17 21:46:31

Could you be the amazing disappearing woman and just go to the pub wink

Not helpful at all.

TheImprobableGirl Wed 18-Oct-17 21:49:48

Oh it’s easy RJ <nonchalant>

In fact as soon as I finish this bottle of red I suspect I’ll be an expert wink

RJnomore1 Wed 18-Oct-17 23:14:10


Admittedly I have two left feet

Somerville Wed 18-Oct-17 23:22:38

Do you have a dog you can 'perform' with (stand there while it does a trick or something.)

Or, maybe you could learn a magic trick to do? There must be tutorials on YouTube.

Or tell jokes?

Disclaimer: This kind of enforced fun is not up my street at all. A singsong around the piano is fine, but solos... of adults performing to other adults. <Cringe>

GlitteryFluff Wed 18-Oct-17 23:31:13

Learns a Magic trick to perform?

LittleLights Wed 18-Oct-17 23:32:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annwithnoe Thu 19-Oct-17 14:12:16

Shuddering in horror at the idea.

Search for Christmas humour monologue and you can just read.

Annwithnoe Thu 19-Oct-17 15:07:23

I was thinking something along these lines driving instructor but something with a female POV or a Christmassy theme

sarah861421 Thu 19-Oct-17 15:28:08

Thank everyone this is just what I wanted, Trust me - I have no talent but I can read so I love the idea of reading a Christmas monologue or poem its just trying to find the right one. Keep the thoughts coming - thankyou

Somerville Thu 19-Oct-17 15:33:33

There's a book of Christmas Round Robin letters that is absolutely hilarious. You could put some of those together as a monologue. I think the book is by someone Hoggart.

Willow2017 Thu 19-Oct-17 15:34:12
Learn this. You will amaze everyone with your knowledge of history smile
this is the actual version but the words aree out of sync so annoying to watch (but I love it!)

TheSpottedZebra Thu 19-Oct-17 15:36:47

Does it have to be good, or can you do something shit and revel in it?
Eg just roll on the floor for AGES and claim you're actually breakdancing?

NB you'd have to have nerves of steel and be good at deadpan face.

Or are you providing the food/hospitality and you can claim that as a talent?

RonniePasas Thu 19-Oct-17 15:37:58

Personally I love "the lion and albert" but you do need to be able to do the northern accent IME.

A few more in similar vein here christmas selection and here goodwill to all men/give us your money, or we worship at St Tescos

LurkingQuietly Thu 19-Oct-17 15:47:55

A little outing but my husband and I learnt Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire for something similar. Nailed it.

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