I have 7 nieces and nephews, ranging from 10 to 21. 4 in one family, 3 in another.
Until last year, I gave each of them £10, but I also have 4 children of my own, and as I don't live nearby, and don't have a close relationship with any of them, I decided to do a hamper for each family filled with goodies. They went down brilliantly! However, this year, 2 of the nieces from the family of 4 have moved out. One in to her boyfriend's family's house, the other to uni, and now I don't know what to do about presents. If I get them something individually, won't I have to start doing it for them all again? I could really do without that. But if I get a joint hamper again, does it automatically include them even if they might not be there?
My uncle does this for my family (I'm one of four kids) - we are all home at some point over Christmas, and the food is used as extra treats for everyone whilst we are home, and any leftover stuff that isn't used gets split between us and taken home. Works brilliantly.
See I've never really understood the stopping of gifts at a certain age. I'm nearly 35 and still enjoy presents! And both of my uncle's still buy for me, despite me not seeing them. Having said that, I'm not convinced they'd miss whatever small thing I do for them anyway. I might as well buy for the random up the road for all the impact it would have on them! But on the other hand, it's the thought that counts, isn't it? I'll stick with the hamper, and see how it goes. Thanks everyone!
They're grown ups/living independently, they should be able to understand that the hamper was always a family present and shouldn't expect anything else from you. Do they get you a gift themselves (not from their parents) in return? I don't expect anything from extended family anymore, it's usually just a present for the sake of it anyway and it's such a hassle to buy for all these aunts and uncles, I'd rather they just save their pennies and we not get anything for each other.
We dont buy for adults in our family apart from parents/children (I buy for my mum and she buys for me), so no brothers/sisters or their partners, no nieces or nephews after 21, it’s an agreed rule between everyone. We occasionally do a £5 silly themed lucky dip gift for those weshare xmas day with.
Nieces and nephews like it too as they are adults now they don’t need to buy extended family gifts either.
Until we all hit 18 we did family gifts, and as I'm the eldest I had moved out and started my own family before the youngest became 18 , we still only gave to the family, so we were still included in the family present.
I would get them a Christmas bauble with the year on it to commemorate their first Xmas in their new home. Or even a nice candle or a box of biscuits. I’d see them as a couple and so sharing a hamper round an extra person (the new partner) would be a bit mean. Then carry on with the hamper which the remaining n and ns can share.
The hamper is fine. If they get to the point where they are buying you their own presents (separate from their parents) then you can get them individual presents. But until them continue to get the family hamper.