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Niece and nephew present palava!

(15 Posts)
1stTimeMama Wed 18-Oct-17 00:08:55

I have 7 nieces and nephews, ranging from 10 to 21. 4 in one family, 3 in another.

Until last year, I gave each of them £10, but I also have 4 children of my own, and as I don't live nearby, and don't have a close relationship with any of them, I decided to do a hamper for each family filled with goodies. They went down brilliantly! However, this year, 2 of the nieces from the family of 4 have moved out. One in to her boyfriend's family's house, the other to uni, and now I don't know what to do about presents. If I get them something individually, won't I have to start doing it for them all again? I could really do without that. But if I get a joint hamper again, does it automatically include them even if they might not be there?


nancy75 Wed 18-Oct-17 00:10:19

I think the joint hamper is fine, it’s quite likely the ones that have moved out will come home at some point over xmas

sweetsomethings Wed 18-Oct-17 00:30:07

Just leave it as you are doing now or maybe take the money out the pot and just buy them a box of biscuits each

Chocolatecake12 Wed 18-Oct-17 07:45:17

For nieces and nephews in our family we stopped present buying at the age of 18.

Or you could do as pp suggested and buy a tin of biscuits or sweets for those that have moved out .

Spam88 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:36:45

Presumably they’ll still go home for Christmas? So I think s hamper would be fine. Or maybe a board game they can play at Christmas?

Leeds2 Wed 18-Oct-17 10:38:40

I would go with the hamper, and not buy separate presents.

drspouse Wed 18-Oct-17 10:40:24

I agree that 18 is the limit for relatives (unless you are very close).

nobutreally Wed 18-Oct-17 10:43:03

My uncle does this for my family (I'm one of four kids) - we are all home at some point over Christmas, and the food is used as extra treats for everyone whilst we are home, and any leftover stuff that isn't used gets split between us and taken home. Works brilliantly.

1stTimeMama Wed 18-Oct-17 11:47:36

See I've never really understood the stopping of gifts at a certain age. I'm nearly 35 and still enjoy presents! And both of my uncle's still buy for me, despite me not seeing them. Having said that, I'm not convinced they'd miss whatever small thing I do for them anyway. I might as well buy for the random up the road for all the impact it would have on them! But on the other hand, it's the thought that counts, isn't it? I'll stick with the hamper, and see how it goes. Thanks everyone!

BendydickCuminsnatch Wed 18-Oct-17 13:01:05

They're grown ups/living independently, they should be able to understand that the hamper was always a family present and shouldn't expect anything else from you. Do they get you a gift themselves (not from their parents) in return?
I don't expect anything from extended family anymore, it's usually just a present for the sake of it anyway and it's such a hassle to buy for all these aunts and uncles, I'd rather they just save their pennies and we not get anything for each other.

KC225 Wed 18-Oct-17 13:30:06

I think 18 is a good cut when there are lots of lids and you are a fair distance away. If you were close, then Carey on but it sou d's as if you ha e enough on your plate with 4 children of your own.

WeAllHaveWings Sat 11-Nov-17 22:39:17

We dont buy for adults in our family apart from parents/children (I buy for my mum and she buys for me), so no brothers/sisters or their partners, no nieces or nephews after 21, it’s an agreed rule between everyone. We occasionally do a £5 silly themed lucky dip gift for those weshare xmas day with.

Nieces and nephews like it too as they are adults now they don’t need to buy extended family gifts either.

goose1964 Sun 12-Nov-17 08:22:15

Until we all hit 18 we did family gifts, and as I'm the eldest I had moved out and started my own family before the youngest became 18 , we still only gave to the family, so we were still included in the family present.

Isadora2007 Sun 12-Nov-17 08:26:37

I would get them a Christmas bauble with the year on it to commemorate their first Xmas in their new home. Or even a nice candle or a box of biscuits. I’d see them as a couple and so sharing a hamper round an extra person (the new partner) would be a bit mean.
Then carry on with the hamper which the remaining n and ns can share.

Joinourclub Sun 12-Nov-17 08:26:43

The hamper is fine. If they get to the point where they are buying you their own presents (separate from their parents) then you can get them individual presents. But until them continue to get the family hamper.

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