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If some misery tells your child there is no Santa/FC...

(104 Posts)
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Tue 10-Oct-17 06:17:40

Just occurred to me, since a so called friend did tell dd aged only 5 that there was no Santa, 'it's just a fairytale'.

Thank heaven I thought to tell her at once that so called friend had probably been so naughty when she was little that Santa never came, so it was no wonder she didn't no believe in him. Should add that I was helped by the fact that friend had form for rowing, effing and blinding, inc. in front of dd at least once.
This worked like a dream, so thought I'd share in case anyone else's dc encounters a misery wanting to spoil the magic.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 10-Oct-17 06:19:56

hmm

BeingATwatItsABingThing Tue 10-Oct-17 06:21:50

And what about the children that your DD encounters who don’t get presents because their parents can barely afford to feed them? Have they been so incredibly naughty that Santa doesn’t come?

MonkeyJumping Tue 10-Oct-17 06:23:59

Ok, so if my DS says in the playground that he doesn't believe in Father Christmas, because it's not a tradition we follow, you want all the parents of his friends to tell them he's so naughty he doesn't get any presents?

That's pretty shitty.

BertrandRussell Tue 10-Oct-17 06:27:02

You are joking......?

Bumdishcloths Tue 10-Oct-17 06:29:33

It's different if a child tells another child though. An adult telling a small child this is just cruel.

BertrandRussell Tue 10-Oct-17 06:31:47

But the adult has told the child- where do you think they got the idea from? hmm

Slightlydizzydaily Tue 10-Oct-17 06:31:59

Bit rough on dc who are JW, Muslim, Jewish and don't do Xmas?

I say to dc some people believe and some don't andyoh can decide what you think

Slightlydizzydaily Tue 10-Oct-17 06:32:15

andyoh? I meant "and you"

browncordchic Tue 10-Oct-17 06:33:53

People worry far too much about this sort of stuff. Children's perceptions are not the same as adults. He will believe as long as you tell him to, for the next two years or so anyway.

lunar1 Tue 10-Oct-17 06:34:30

How about you just tell your child that everyone has different traditions?

Ktown Tue 10-Oct-17 06:36:56

I never believed in Father Christmas and I don't perpetuate the story. I have never said that he doesn't exist, but it is a lot of fuss about nothing really.
Lots of things happen in life that are bad and traumatic for kids. Finding out about a lack of santa isn't one of them.

Bumdishcloths Tue 10-Oct-17 07:10:31

@BertrandRussell you're being deliberately obtuse. If you want to tell your own children there is no Santa, go for your life, it's no one's concern but yours. Telling other people's children, who do believe, isn't fair - it is up to their parents to decide when it's time for that conversation. And to PP saying it's harsh on children of differing beliefs, I'm sure the OP wouldn't approach this in the same way were it other children involved. That's simply handled by explaining that the other children have different beliefs.

christmasunicorn Tue 10-Oct-17 07:14:30

Wow there are some proper grinches on this friend.

Don’t worry OP I used the same reasoning a couple of months back when a year 8 class I was in declared there was no Santa (well they are all 12!) except there is one very autistic girl who still believes and she was getting very upset. So I spun the old well Santa doesn’t buy them any as they are too naughty. Fortunately the rest of the class took it in the way it was meant - light hearted humour to allow one to continue to believe. Pretty sure no one got offended because they were Muslim/poor/Jw or just living under a rock I’m pretty sure a couple of them hibernate most winter

BertrandRussell Tue 10-Oct-17 07:18:40

I'm not being deliberately obtuse. Do you really think that a 5 year old is not going to share this information with her friends? Why wouldn't she? Of course she is. "Johnny says that there's no Father Christmas but that's because he was so naughty when he was little that he doesn't get any presents"

BertrandRussell Tue 10-Oct-17 07:19:33

And if you can't see the difference between doing this with a year 8 class and with 5 year olds.....

EdithWeston Tue 10-Oct-17 07:31:04

"Thank heaven I thought to tell her at once that so called friend had probably been so naughty when she was little that Santa never came, so it was no wonder she didn't no believe in him."

I don't think that's an appropriate response at all.

I'd have gone for the (useful for all ages, and all means of discovery) approach: 'He doesn't believe in Santa, well some people don't and that means that he doesn't visit. Of course, for many people the parents step in so no-one's too disappointed on the day"

That's nicked from a Libby Purves book, and it's incredibly useful as it lets half-belief continue during the discovery process.

Fluffysparks Tue 10-Oct-17 07:32:45

To be fair to the OP, the friend she called naughty was frankly being nasty...

somewhereovertherain Tue 10-Oct-17 07:35:32

My dd went for a few years on the basis of if you don’t believe in him you won’t get any presents from him just from family.

BeyondThePage Tue 10-Oct-17 07:44:58

- let's make up some crap, keep telling lies to the kids then get upset and call other people names ("naughty" - you were the one perpetuating a lie - not her!) when someone tells them the truth - why are some lies so OK as to be sacrosanct.

2furbabies Tue 10-Oct-17 07:45:55

I tell my kids santa is real but he only brings 1 present to them, the rest are from us as yes it's very sad to see kids who's parents either can't afford or don't give a shit be very sad and think they have been "naughty" because santa didn't bring them any presents

TittyGolightly Tue 10-Oct-17 07:53:01

let's make up some crap, keep telling lies to the kids then get upset and call other people names ("naughty" - you were the one perpetuating a lie - not her!) when someone tells them the truth - why are some lies so OK as to be sacrosanct.

This!

Trills Tue 10-Oct-17 08:02:46

Very tempted to start a thread with the same title and a different OP

Just get over it is. It IS a fairytale

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 10-Oct-17 08:04:20

Christmas isn't about who brings the presents.

Crumbs1 Tue 10-Oct-17 08:08:34

The twins were told by their year six teacher. Whole class went into meltdown, poor man.
Children seem to have ability to know it's not real until...they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve.
You can PROVE Father Christmas is real with Noraid tracking. Ours used to get faxed replies to the letters sent up the chimney.

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