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The Santa debate

(75 Posts)
Momsknowbest Mon 09-Oct-17 21:49:49

My son is 3 (also have a baby under 6mths) and this will be the 1st year that he will actually get into Christmas (already pointing out decorations in shops). I don't want to ruin the excitement of Santa but I feel I can't allow him to think he brought all the gifts aswell. I tried to explain to my partner that I'd like to explain that Santa brings 1 present to all the boys and girls and mummy, daddy and family bring everything else, I also want to sway the gift he asks Santa for to be something inexpensive as he attends school with children who may not get everything they ask for. My partner thinks we shouldn't worry about other children as he works hard for everything we have but id hate after Xmas for him to return with the gift everyone asked Santa for to find out one kid didn't get it.
What do other parents do??
I know christmas isnt just about the gifts but be reassured we have lots of family time and always visit the grandparents,aunts ect leaving gifts at home to play games and eat cold turkey sandwiches and watch the tv specials.

Stickerrocks Mon 09-Oct-17 21:52:51

Santa brings a stocking every year. All the good presents come from family.

Newtothis2017 Mon 09-Oct-17 22:02:19

My dc ask Santa for 2 presents. Then he brings a few little surprises....nothing too expensive. And a few board games to share. Anybody who is kind enough to buy them presents...
Give them the presents. We don't ask them to pretend they are from Santa. Oh and Santa also does the stocking. It is only for a few years that they believe. I am happy to let Santa take the credit 😉

MissFlashpants Mon 09-Oct-17 22:05:04

Are you overthinking a bit?

I can’t imagine denying my three year old his dream present in case another kid I don’t even know doesn’t get it too. confused

I’m all in for Santa. That’s what we had as kids and it was never an issue. As my kids get a wee bit older I’ve mentioned that we have to give Santa money for their presents so they won’t get everything on their list. Your way sounds a bit puritanical though maybe.

TheNumberfaker Mon 09-Oct-17 22:05:37

Santa brings a small stocking on our house.

FireflyGirl Mon 09-Oct-17 22:20:40

I don't think OP is saying her DS won't be getting his dream present, MissFlashpants - just that mummy and daddy will be buying it, not Santa.

I have been considering the same, OP, and I think Santa will be bringing stockings and a couple of toys, but any expensive presents will be bought by myself and DH, as the elves don't know how to make them. That will hopefully manage his expectations for a few years' time when he's asking for the latest games console, and explain why we buy for the local toy appeal/shoe box collection.

Momsknowbest Mon 09-Oct-17 22:21:33

I like the sound of santa bringing the stockings and I would never say I deny my child anything. He dosnt ask for a thing not even sweets when we go to the corner shop so on the rare occasion that he does I get it for him. I'm just questioning the whole Santa thing. I was fortunate as a little kid and got everything Id asked for but looking back I remeber seeing my friends faces when they didnt get the gift they had asked santa for. I suppose I could be overthinking it.

Stickerrocks Mon 09-Oct-17 22:22:35

By the time your DS goes back to pre-school after Christmas, they will all have forgotten about Christmas anyway. Either that or the best Christmas present they received will be the cheapest, tackiest thing from a distant relative/Santa grotto toy/from a cracker.

Whisky2014 Mon 09-Oct-17 22:24:33

Santa always brought the main gifts plus a sack load of other stuff. We did get a gift from parents and also family members. I have no idea why parents want to get the credit for it instead of Santa. Santa is the parents! Now I'm older I appreciate all my parents organised to make the time so special for us.

Momsknowbest Mon 09-Oct-17 22:27:27

That is also very true stickerrocks

Momsknowbest Mon 09-Oct-17 22:32:15

It's not about getting the credit I also want him to learn the value of things. That me and dad work hard for everything we have. But I also can't help but think of the children who didn't get the gift they really wanted because mum and can just couldn't afford it. We don't live in an area where most people work majority of the people we know are on benefits and live week to week and I can just imagine the disappointment if Santa brought their friend the must have gift but not them.

Stickerrocks Mon 09-Oct-17 22:37:31

Even on Christmas Day, DD would either say that she couldn't remember what she had been given or omit the best present as she reeled off her list of goodies! Take the credit while you can & don't forget that small children will always tell Santa that they desperately want something that wasn't on their Christmas list when they see him in his grotto after the shops have shut on Christmas eve.

TittyGolightly Mon 09-Oct-17 22:39:00

We've never pushed the idea of santa on DD.

She's now 7 and still not bothered about it.
Saved a lot of hassle!

Whisky2014 Mon 09-Oct-17 22:42:00

I don't want to ruin the excitement of Santa but I feel I can't allow him to think he brought all the gifts aswell.

To me, it sounds like it is about the credit.

I have no memory of what my friends got a xmas, I think we were all just happy with what we got and yy to forgetting what we got by the time we went back to school

MissFlashpants Tue 10-Oct-17 08:29:44

You know, if he’s 3 you’ve probably got...4/5 Christmases before the Santa magic is over anyway.

I can’t really see why you can’t just let him have that magic one day a year. It’s Christmas, it doesn’t have to be a Teachable Moment.

noramum Tue 10-Oct-17 08:41:20

I think DD was 4 when she asked what DH and I will give her for Christmas. We were shopping for a gift for granny when it came up, so she realised we are giving gifts to people but it seems not to her.

Before that we didn't specifically say it was Father Christmas, we just said, FC was here and there are gifts under the tree. He could have been a glorified postman.

DD writes a letter to FC, we then decide what comes from him and we may take the some things out. One year she asked for an ipad, we said it has to come from us so we can put decent restrictions on it. Similar to the kindle she got last year. On top of that she gets other things from us, more like surprises we think she may like/need than something she asked for.

He brings the stocking as well.

TittyGolightly Tue 10-Oct-17 08:44:01

Lying = magic? How?!

Corneliusmurphy Tue 10-Oct-17 08:54:50

Mine write letters to Santa but only with one item on, santa has lots to deliver and no one wants to be greedy. They write a Christmas list too for ideas really. Santa does stockings and one or two gifts not even main ones (dd asked him for notebooks last year!) everything else is from us or relatives.
This year too one of my ds's wants a Nintendo switch which we've already said no to (cost of games mainly) so his cunning plan was to ask Santa to save me money - I've had to explain we have to pay for the gifts these days - as they're a long way from wooden elf made toys. It's started to get a bit complicated but he is 8, at 3 i don't think anyone cared who was responsible for presents!

Bornfreebutinbiscuits Tue 10-Oct-17 10:24:45

Op you can do it however you want it!

I wrote lists as a child and dont think I got single thing on them ever DM wasnt good in that way, in fact it was older DSIS who got me decent stuff...but it didnt matter! DM was very much into FC but there was always element of - we can ask but we really dont know who is he or how it works, we cant control any of it.
I also never encouraged mine to write lists as we were very short of ££ in the early days, ( still are but far less so)...I actually got dd1 a load of stuff for free when she was 3 for xmas.....I was lucky someone did a huge toy clear out on freecyle.

DD has asked for things and has not got them. Thats life, I dont think its fair to deliberately do this to your son because of what other dc get or or dont get, its like a double negative and I dont think he will thank you for it.
keep things vague, don't promise stuff on lists.
Round here people tend to have normal gifts from relatives from relatives and the rest from FC.

MuchBenham Tue 10-Oct-17 10:43:16

It’s Christmas, it doesn’t have to be a Teachable Moment
Amen to that @MissFlashpants
My eyes have nearly rolled out of my head at some of these posts.

MuchBenham Tue 10-Oct-17 10:48:29

Having said that... We all go our own way with these things, I guess. But I agree with pps who said the Father Christmas phase is such a short one - enjoy it while you can.

lionsleepstonight Tue 10-Oct-17 10:55:58

The believing in Santa window is so small, once they hit Juniors at 7/8 the doubts start to creep in. Let them be kids and enjoy the build up, run up, the anticipation etc.
Before that age, kids have no concept of the cost of things and how much work you have to do to deliver those presents, so even saying Santa brought 2 and we bought the rest will just go over their heads.
Let Santa take the credit now, while the toys they like are relatively cheap. You can take the credit with the Xbox when he's 10.

Floralnomad Tue 10-Oct-17 11:04:09

We never started the whole Santa thing , we treated him as a fun story just like all the other stories . My dc did not afaik go round telling other children he didn't exist because he was such a minor part of our celebrations he was not worth talking about . Each year we had fun going to lots of different Santas on trains / in shops / Goofy Santa at Disney etc . I am an atheist so Christmas here is about a family celebration . Dc are now both 18+ and still love Christmas as much as ever .

MissFlashpants Tue 10-Oct-17 12:31:48

Titty well...yes? To kids anyway. It's make believe, fantasy, magical to them.

Do your kids never dress up and pretend to be, say, a ballerina or a superhero? Do you tell them they're actually just a kid and they're being silly?

Of course not. Let their imagines run wild before they get older and all of that is stopped.

Dinosauratemydaffodils Tue 10-Oct-17 12:44:06

Father Christmas brings stockings. Ds will be involved in buying (or at least choosing) presents for other people this year including a couple of toys which I donate to a local appeal for Homeless families. He gets the "magic" of NORAD watching, putting out cookies etc but also he learns about giving, especially to those less fortunate and given that we also celebrate St Nicholas, I think that's entirely in the spirit of the season.

Plus it means we can avoid my MiL's annoying habit of retorting to any misbehavior from November onwards with "I'll phone Father Christmas and tell him how naughty you are and you won't get any presents". All it did was reduce my nephews and niece to tears.

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