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How to do Christmas without the relatives

(5 Posts)
Wingdingingit Sun 25-Dec-16 23:27:24

I know, I know it's about family but I've just had the shittiest Christmas day.
There are 3 of us, partner, me and DS who is 5.
Every year for the last 6, we have cooked at mums house for whomever she has arranged to be there that year. This includes the first Christmas of our prem baby, out if hospital but still clingy, we still cooked. Mum only ever thanked my husband for cooking.
This year she's been moody, playing the martyr trying to do everything but then moaning about it with sly jibes then refusing to stay sat down whilst we sort the dinner.
Sister turns up followed later by dick wad bf. He's tight. He's ignorant. He's rude. He talks about abortion and divorce and politics at every meal I've been unfortunate enough to sit with him at.
Mum is making veiled jibes left right and centre, apart from at dickwad who deserves it.
I'm running round serving up as is partner.
I finally sit down to cold dinner one mouthful and mum wants me to check if everyone has a drink for a toast. I ask if I can eat a little first to which I get a barely concealed huff and shake of the head.
Sister and bf fall asleep thank god but really what's the point in being there.
They wake up immediately go to kitchen to eat..not asking anyone if they want anything then come and sit back down.
I'm so over Christmas day. How the hell can we do it on our terms next year?
Our house is not big enough to host in any way. I want to run away. I honestly usually over Christmas but this negative vibe is really ruining it for me.
Demanding, passive agressive, elderly mother, fuckwit sis bf, fuckwittier sis for staying with him. Fuckwittierier us for doing it for 6 effing years!
I'm so annoyed that I'm letting it annoy me!
Help me be brave and do something about just us next year!

Hobbes8 Sun 25-Dec-16 23:33:22

Just stay home and don't invite anyone. We've done it this year and had a lovely day, just me, my husband, and our two children. No dramatic reason - we've hosted both sets of parents for the past few years, but found last year a bit tiring. Both sets of parents have other children, so they're not on their own.

We did exactly what we wanted today. My son didn't want to get dressed because he loved his new pjs so much - fine. My daughter doesn't like Christmas dinner, so had yogurt bananas and chocolate coins - fine. I cooked a full dinner because I love Christmas dinner and I like cooking, but my kids would have been happy with chicken nuggets - whatever you fancy!

Pheebs77 Sun 25-Dec-16 23:34:22

Book a holiday for Christmas 2017 now & give people a years notice!
They'll be fine!

Theromanempire Sun 25-Dec-16 23:38:14

Just don't invite anyone or go anywhere - say you don't feel it is fair to drag your DS away from his new toys.

This is the second year in a row where we have spent the day by ourselves. We have all spent the day in pyjamas, watched God knows how many films blush, eaten what we wanted when we wanted, napped etc.

I do feel guilty that my DC may have been bored but nowhere else we could have gone would have been any more exciting.

fallenempires Sun 25-Dec-16 23:38:21

I think that you just have to say that you want to spend Xmas just the three of you next year.
Maybe just host something small on Boxing Day ie finger food nibbles.
Feel your pain my DM is exactly the same & I'm the child who lives closest who has had to acommodate her for years.
Think it's time your dsis took some of the slack!

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