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How do we spin this for the dc?

(12 Posts)
GoodyGoodyGumdrops Sun 25-Dec-16 08:47:21

Just opened a Christmas card from the ILs, and it contains a note saying that they've given a donation to a children's charity instead of sending their (only) dgc presents.

I have no objection, the dc get too much loads anyway, but surely such a thing shouldn't be sprung on people? Dh thinks it's a PA thing, as his relationship with them has gone pear-shaped this year.

I want there to be a way back from this. I want the dc not to feel rejected by it. The ILs are cross with dh, and our dc are, effectively, being punished for it.

So what do I say to the dc? Youngest is 10.

Lilaclily Sun 25-Dec-16 08:50:30

Dh is right, that is horrible of them

Lilaclily Sun 25-Dec-16 08:51:17

I'd not say anything to them or dcs about it , just enjoy your day and if dh wants to let him

29redshoes Sun 25-Dec-16 08:54:35

Do you think they'll notice in the midst of the presents they'll have from other family? If not then just don't mention it.

If they do ask tell them the truth but in a positive, breezy way and quickly move on to something else.

QueenLaBeefah Sun 25-Dec-16 08:55:22

I wouldn't spin it. Just tell the truth.

BikeRunSki Sun 25-Dec-16 08:57:54

I wouldn't mention it, unless they ask. Then tell the truth. At 10+ it's a harsh lesson, but there is no point in disguising it.

It's is very mean of the grandparents though.

ChristmasTreeCat Sun 25-Dec-16 08:58:20

Just tell the truth. At 10 I'd expect them to understand that sometimes it's nice to help others. If the dc want to hold it against their gp and you believe it was done passive aggressively then let them?

NapQueen Sun 25-Dec-16 09:02:31

I would maybe explain to the dcs what the gift means to those who will receive it and spin it positively "how kind of GPS to help the children who won't get any presents"

And I'd call GPS and be utterly gushing about what they did and how excellent and idea you all thought it was and thank you for starting a new tradition.

whilst inside still feeling like I would too that this was a pa thing

GoodyGoodyGumdrops Sun 25-Dec-16 09:53:12

I find it very difficult to accept the the loss of a chunk of family. sad

PodgeBod Sun 25-Dec-16 13:23:56

I wouldn't mention it. If DC ask I would say "Grandparents sent a card" and leave it at that.

Eva50 Sun 25-Dec-16 13:39:23

And I'd call GPS and be utterly gushing about what they did and how excellent and idea you all thought it was and thank you for starting a new tradition.

this

My youngest is 10. We don't have any grandparents but if their Aunt did this I doubt it would bother them. I would tell them the truth and let them make what they want of it.

CuntyMcCuntyface Sun 25-Dec-16 13:59:22

It's a bit of a shitty thing to suddenly spring on you but at least they did let you know, albeit very late.
My in laws suddenly stopped with presents 3 years ago (christmas and birthday). To this day we have no idea why as all their other children and grandchildren receive things

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