4 year old desperate to sleep at home

[MaximumVolume]

So this is a bit of a "what would you do?".

My DPs live a couple of miles away in a house plenty big enough for us all to stay...my DH, the kids & I usually don't as it's so near. The plan for tonight was to stay over so that kids do the mince pie, port & carrot for Rudolph ritual in the evening & then open presents in the morning with GPs. We'll be there for dinner this evening regardless, so an added bonus that DH & I can have a glass of wine at dinner.

Problem is, DS1 (4) is desperate not to stay over. He likes his GPs & their house but likes our house more as all his stuff is here & he's comfy. He will almost certainly sleep better here at our house.

He's getting quite upset about the idea of not sleeping at home. I've told him his presents will be delivered by FC to Granny's (they're already there!!) & he's not budging, which suggests to me that he feels quite strongly about it.

I really don't know how far to push it. Should I insist & risk a tired grumpy boy for Christmas Day? DS2 is just 2 & won't mind. Probably would slightly prefer being at GPs as a one-off as he'll get more attention!

[DoItTooJulia]

In the morning, when he is surrounded by wrapping paper, presents and his family he will have forgotten all about where he's slept.

Just tell him that you've already time the elves where you're staying and he does not want to miss out by being in a different bed! Make a fuss of hanging the stocking, and all that Christmas Eve jazz. He'll be fine! (Our 4 yo thinks he is the boss too....)

[sandgrown]

It's a hard one but I would make him stay . He will be ok I think once he knows it's not negotiable and lovely for GP to share Christmas morning.

[ferriswheel]

He gets tons of choices in his life. This isnt one of them. He has to get over it.

[neonrainbow]

Don't give him a choice. Why should a 4yo dictate the whole family's plans for no good reason?

[user1477282676]

Keep telling him 'we'll see" and just changing the subject. I agree that once he's at your parents, he will forget.

[MaximumVolume]

Fairly unanimous, then! Okay.

The reason I was considering it is because it is literally a 5 minute drive between houses. If it was a long journey I wouldn't!

Doit I know on Christmas morning he won't care where he is, just concerned it will be a long night, but sounds like the general consensus is we should grin & beat it

[MaximumVolume]

bear it! I'm not going to beat my 4 yo!

[EatSleepTeachRepeat]

I have Father Christmas on speed dial on my phone, he also texts regularly - I'd suggest a quick text to say "Thank you for confirming change of delivery address for MiniMaximumVolume, I will put it on my list, please be sure to leave me a treat" or similar - just add your own phone number as "Santa" and text yourself.

But agree with PP, at 4 he shouldn't be dictating.

[kiki22]

My 4 year old can be the same but generally once he is when he is there he is great if it makes him happy let him sleep with you maybe?

[balence49]

Our four year old ds would try to tell me this also. He would be having to put up with it in afraid... like he has to with lots of things. Sometimes Its a No.

[Gizlotsmum]

Can you take his bedding with you ( pillow and duvet) we do that so it makes the new bed feel more like his? Maybe let him stay up a bit later as a treat, favourite bedtime toys and story?

[ineedamoreadultieradult]

If it's only 5 minutes away pack the car up with his favourite stuff, take his bedding, soft toys, games etc. Make it an adventure he can spend time today sorting out his room at the granparents to have it just how he wants it.

[P1nkP0ppy]

I too would take his bedding, pillow etc and make it as fun as possible. You never know when he might have to stay there if there was an emergency so don't give in to him.
I'm sure he'll be fine.

[GloGirl]

I'm the other view point. Don't tell him that he can sleep at home if he wants to but you think he'll be so excited when you get there he will want to stay and he'll want to show Granny what Santa brings him and I bet Granny has extra special breakfast for Christmas morning.

So tell him you're all packing bags just in case he changes his mind. When you get there take him straight to his room to put his bag away 'just in case'. I'm sure he'll forget.

But if he was really really uncomfortable I would take him home. Really, at 4 it's his Christmas as it means so much more to him and I wouldn't want my DS to be so uncomfortable.

[Fairylea]

Bucking the trend but I would stay home. For me Christmas is all about Father Christmas and children's excitement and at 4 this will be the first Christmas your dc really "gets" it. I think it's nicer to be in your own home and set your own traditions and if he sleeps better then that's better too as Christmas is exhausting enough for everyone!

If it's so close could you walk back after dinner so you can still have a drink?

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I think you should still go. It would be a shame if a 4 yo dictates what happens to so many people.

[Elanrode]

I see this differently. He's not dictating. I wouldn't want to be away from home Christmas Eve either. I'd compromise. He spends the evening there and go over first thing tomorrow.

[GloGirl]

Sorry I meant you should tell him that he can sleep at home but be very light in giving him the option to change his mind and when you're at Granny's house make a big deal about hot chocolate just before bed, leaving a drink out for Santa I think he'll come round once he's there but don't be too insistent or he may become stubborn.

[SuperRainbows]

I don't see it as ds dictating. It doesn't feel right to him and I would listen to him and come home tonight. How about you get a taxi home so you can have a glass of wine? It sounds like you had a nice evening planned, but it's not worth risking him being upset and not going to sleep.

[JennyOnAPlate]

I think it's too late to change plans now and unfair on your hosts.

I would tell him that it's too late and santa may not realise in time that his location has changed!

[Elanrode]

This thread confirms Christmas is about the adults "enjoyment" of it really and not about the children at all.

[Caroian]

I'm not sure where so many posters are getting the "dictating" bit from. He is expressing his preference, which he is perfectly entitled to do! Everyone can express their wishes and as a family you have to decide what works best for everyone. I think some of these responses seem a bit harsh.

It's a difficult one because you have made the plans now. But I do have sympathy with him. As a child I was lucky to always wake up at home as my parents always did the hosting, and perhaps that colours my view. My 5 year old wants to wake up at home and that means we have a 2 hour drive on Christmas day (but he certainly isn't a "dictator" because that is what he wants and we've decided as a family it's what we'll do!)

As it is so close, if it really means a lot to him and won't actually upset the rest of your plans to much, I would be inclined to go home. If it is going to cause a major inconvenience with moving gifts etc, then probably best to stay put. If you agree to go home, do it in a light handed way and suggest to him that you still put the bags in the car. He might change his mind when he gets there.

[VeryPunny]

This is all so you can have a glass of wine at your folks?

I wouldn't make him stay over. But then I want my children to have Christmas Morning in their own home and it's a big deal to me. If you want a drink, why can't your parents come over to yours for dinner?

Disclaimer: I am frequently amazed at how many grandparents refuse to let go of Christmas to the next generation, and have friends trekking over the country staying on fold out sofas etc, which although isn't the situation here does colour my view somewhat.

[Xmasbaby11]

I can't really see the point of staying over when you're so near. But then we'd all sleep better in our own beds and there's nothing wrong with the dc wanting that.

[Kirriemuir]

I don't get the dictating but either. He wants to be at home. No biggie.