A thread for separated/divorced parents not have their DC for Christmas this year?(7 Posts)
I don't have my DC this year. My exH lives a few hours away from me so Christmas is alternated, one of us has them on birthdays and the other has them at Christmas then the following year it reverses. This year is a birthdays not Christmas year for me.
The DC will have a great time, exH has a lot planned and they will have a lovely Christmas & we will have our own Christmas on 27th December when they come back, they can choose the food (a buffet this year) and we will do presents & have family over for lunch.
But what do we all do on Christmas Day when we don't have them? I will be spending the day with my DP & we will visit one set of parents for lunch & the other parents in the evening. I won't have to cook. I can get drunk if I want (I don't usually as everyone comes to us & I cook a big lunch) Its nice sometimes to sit fatly on the sofa & not have to build Lego or to be able to talk to relatives you haven't seen for years without constant punctuating of 'hang on I'll have to find the batteries' or ' DS2 you can wipe your own bum, try it first before I come up'. There is a lot about an adult only Christmas that I like.
But the low point for me is Christmas morning when there are no squealing children & no ecstatic present opening. I phone them at exH's and they always speak to me & its wonderful to hear the excitement in their voices, but it just exaggerates the silence when they hang up.
I wouldn't choose it this way, but its preferable to living with him (he's sober now) and if this is what it takes to be an adult and to put the childrens' needs for a relationship with their father first, then its the way it has to be. And that's OK.
But I can't be the only one, so tell me what you are all doing as well this year and maybe we can support each other
It's my first year without DD this year. I have no family in the UK, so I have champagne, luxury chocolates that I wouldn't normally indulge in, and a new box set. I'm sure it will be shit, overall, but I hope it'll be the best day I can make it. DD has only just started staying with her Dad (3 nights so far this year!) so hopefully the fact that it's still a novelty to have 'time off' means I'll appreciate it a bit more. Like you, we'll have Christmas when she gets back.
One of mine is away for a week but I will still have one with me so that helps ease the feeling of loss a bit. We're off to the ILs for too long so can't wait for the 28th when we will be home, reunited and having our own Christmas.
It's my first Christmas without the DC this year and I'm really looking forward to it They're darlings and Christmas with them is magical but it also means constantly intervening to stop them irritating my elderly/disabled relatives who visit for the Christmas period. It's going to be nice not to have to be on edge all the time. I'm not looking forward to being the pity case though.
I'll be taking the DC to parkrun in fancy dress and doing presents with them on Christmas Eve morning, then exH is collecting them after lunch and I won't get them back until the following Friday. Christmas Day and Boxing Day will be spent with my family and then I'm going on a hiking/spa break with a chap I've been dating, so I'll be busy!
DD (3) will be away from Thurs to next Wed. I won't call or FaceTime because it makes her really upset. I going to drink some wine and watch whatever I want on tv. I'm also excited for the sale shopping. But xmas morning is going to be hard. Just typing that has made me get tears in my eyes. But I'll be fine. Lunch with my family including obligatory arguments. Cant wait for Christmas to be over this year.
I think I would be looking forward to it more if I had a DP or UK based family. It's the day on my own that's going to make it hard, especially at DD has only just started seeing her Dad again. I feel a bit like he's swooping in and grabbing the best bits (I know this is unreasonable).
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