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Should I buy her a present?

(5 Posts)
AmyAmoeba Tue 29-Nov-16 23:29:26

I started minding the children of a friend two days a week last year. Our kids were in school together, we chatted on the school yard, and had coffee a couple of times. We would never have exchanged Christmas cards never mind presents.
Last year at Christmas ( after a term of childminding) I bought presents for her kids, and she bought presents for mine, and a very generous gift for me.

If I had bought gifts for her kids and she bought me a gift I'dfeel that was a fairly equal exchange.

Obviously by minding her kids we've gone from a casual friend footing to an employee/employer relationship. I'm really not sure if I should or shouldn't reciprocate.

I don't spend that amount of money on my close friends, and in general I'm on a tighter budget than she is. Her kids are dressed from better shops than mine, I get my groceries from aldi, etc. But those are the things that let me stay home comfortably, live in a bigger house, run a second car,etc.

I give a gift to my kids teachers, and don't expect to get one back so is this like that? Would it be weird for me to reciprocate?

I would happily up my spend on her kids gifts to even it up but that would probably cause her to spend more on mine next year.

Any advice?

Optimist1 Wed 30-Nov-16 00:04:56

Her gift to you is over and above the value of the gifts you gave to each other's kids because she's grateful to you for how you care for hers through the year, not because you're her friend. Let her demonstrate her gratitude to you!

Optimist1 Wed 30-Nov-16 00:05:44

P.S. Yes, IMO your example of teachers and gifts is spot on!

attheendoftheday Wed 30-Nov-16 00:34:20

I give a present to our wonderful childminder and her kids and would be embarrassed to get one back. It is a thank you for all the hard work she does during the year!

AmyAmoeba Wed 30-Nov-16 15:51:07

Ok thanks!
It makes me uncomfortable but I guess I have to suck it up and let someone be nice to me grin

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