Help!!! DS knows about Santa but doesn't want to know!(7 Posts)
So, DS is 10 and in year 6.
he's questioned Santa for a while but the last couple of weeks he has said "I know father Christmas isn't real" "I know it's the parents" etc.
so, thinking well, there's no way he can go to high school believing in Santa, this weekend I sat him down and said something along the lines of that famous letter, santa isn't santa but he's real because parents do it and all want their children to have wonderful imaginations and great lives etc etc. He seemed to take it ok, said he wasn't sad, asked lots of questions "who fills the stockings?" "me"; "who eats the mince pie?" "dad" etc. all good.
then 5 minutes later he came up to me and said "I've decided I'm sad and I want you to tell me you were lying about Santa and that he is actually real and you were lying when you said you did it all".
wtf do I say to that?
I've started with "I can't lie to you, youasked if he was real, I told you the truth, you're older now and you already knew it really which is why you asked"
He's now threatening to run away, wanting to cancel Christmas and hating me for telling him.
he's currently still awake sobbing and sporting "tell me the truth, the truth I want to hear. that he's real!".
what on earth do I do?!
I'd tell him if he wants to believe he is real, that's fine and reassure him you will go along with that. My dd is 10, year 6 and we both know she doesn't believe but we have never had the conversation, but I have never had that conversation with my parents either. They still think my brother and I believe in the magic and that's fine.
I don't think lying to him now and telling him you were wrong is necessarily the right thing to do, I think he needs to find out in his own time. Let him write his letter, leave a mince pie, follow him on the Santa tracker app etc. I'm sure his friends will talk about it with him and he will realise quickly it's a lovely myth and hopefully he won't be too defensive about it, given that you have already spoken to him about it already.
I would tell him what he wants to hear. He knows the actual truth, but he obviously wants to keep the magic going! My parents have never told me he's not real, and I'm 34. I never questioned it, and although I obviously know, it kept the fun going for us all!
1st, I'm like you. I did find out when I walked in on Mum eating the mince pie and feeding the carrot to the dog (we'd moved house to one where you had to go through the living room to the kitchen, instead of the hall like our old one). Poor Mum dashed at me, to be honest it was a relief as I always got upset I wasn't good and I'd have to explain to my Mum why Santa didn't come to me.....not because my Mum was strict and threatened me, I was just a geeky conscientious child!
Anyway, after that rambling.....
I just wrote my letter the next year, made cookies, set out milk etc and kept going until I met DH, now he duly bites the mince pie, drinks the milk and bites the carrot....it's just fun to keep going.
I'm sure for your DS this is more about growing up, classes getting more difficult etc and it's nice to be looked after and keep things the same.
I had similar with dd who is now 13, just tell him that Santa is there for those who believe and carry on with all your usual traditions .
There is letter below that might help
If you scroll down your see the full text maybe you can adapt that?
Something else I saw on here the other day was quite lovely and I'm not sure if this applicable, but if there are younger siblings or younger people in his life it might help?
It was something along the lines of
All children start off being believers, but when they are old enough they graduate into being "magic makers"
Magic makers are really special people, it's a very important job. Because it's these people who keep the magic alive for believers, they nibble the mince pie and the carrots, they make sure that the magic stays alive.
I thought we would have this conversation this year but i have it on very good authority that Santa visits you until you 30. I said this is rubbish as I'm 39 and I know I've been very good this year!
He knows the truth. So you can tell him Santa is real again and you can all play along. I'm 25 and sis is 22 - we still thank 'santa' for our presents (while looking at mum) It's Christmas tradition!
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