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how much do you REALLY spend on your kids? i think im in denial...

(114 Posts)
juicychops Mon 14-Nov-16 14:50:56

every year my sister asks me how much i spend on my ds (only child) and every year she is shocked by the amount that i say. She has 2 kids so would obviously have to spend the same on each so maybe has a smaller budget than me.

Xmas is once a year and i love it and i have prepared and saved in advance this year so wont be getting into debt to pay for things. Having a ds that is nearly 12 everything on his list is super expensive but i dont want to risk him being disappointed only having a few presents to open. I have had the talk with him and he understands that he wont get as much this year as all of his things are expensive and add up to a lot, which he was fine about, but still, i would like him to have a reasonable amount of presents.
My budget was £200 but it will look as though i will end up spending nearer £300. Is that really terrible? I feel like i need to justify spending that much, and in my defense i dont buy him much at all through the year as he has to save his own pocket money to buy his own things.

But i suppose im just asking is that over the top and spoilt? or around normal?

honeysucklejasmine Mon 14-Nov-16 14:53:28

Can you afford it? Is so, it's fine. Your choice.

winterisnigh Mon 14-Nov-16 14:53:53

but op, who is to say? are you sending yourself into debt, can you afford other stuff, or is all money sucked to xmas?does anyone else get him gifts, do you have savings? do you buy loads for him throughout the year too? are they gifts that will last a long time?

DooWhop Mon 14-Nov-16 14:54:47

I spend £2-300 each on mine (3) but can afford it and don't do much buying through the year.
Some years I've thought I've made a rod for my poor back but I always pull it off debt free so I'm not worried.

busyrascal Mon 14-Nov-16 14:54:52

I'm not sure how much we spend on each dc (we have 2 of them) but our overall budget for xmas is £400. That includes everyone's presents, food and any Christmas days out.

BrollyXmas Mon 14-Nov-16 14:55:27

Sounds similar to what we will spend on our 13 year old. This year she has asked for an iPad mini (obviously an expensive gift) and will also get other bits and pieces. We don't buy much for our dcs throughout the year, so I do like to buy them some nice things at Christmas.

Zoflorabore Mon 14-Nov-16 14:57:35

My ds is 13 and will have around £500 spent on him at Christmas plus his clothes for Xmas and Boxing Day, same for 5 yr old dd.

That will not equate to a lot of presents as one is around £250 and another £100, it soon adds upblush

juicychops Mon 14-Nov-16 15:01:05

this year i can happily say i can afford it, but im the same feeling like ive made a rod for my own back.

He gets presents from other people but this year he's getting an xbox one from his great aunt so i thought i'd get him a few games as he wont have any... but say 3 games is £100+! it was a lot cheaper when he was younger

Overrunwithlego Mon 14-Nov-16 15:03:56

As long as you can afford it I wouldn't say it's excessive. Many kids will get something like an X box which is £250. I probably spend about that on mine. But it's all relative isn't it - both in terms of what you can afford and in what the child is hoping for. When I see people saying they spend £20 I do catch myself thinking "that isn't a lot to spend" whilst they would I'm sure think I spend too much. Likewise when I see people spending £1000 I catch myself thinking "wow that's a lot" whilst they probably think of me "that's not a lot to spend".

Christmas is about so much more than the money you spend. Peoples attitude to money is so different and you don't need to justify what you spend to others.

winterisnigh Mon 14-Nov-16 15:06:50

we are going with xbox this year too but normally big present wouldnt be as much but its to be shared between two.

I have probably spent a lot on the games too but cheaper as for younger...

next year will probably be bikes

Overrunwithlego Mon 14-Nov-16 15:09:06

juicychops also go to game and have a look at their pre-owned section for X-box games if you are balking at the cost of new games!

J0kersSmile Mon 14-Nov-16 15:09:54

God I spend absolutely loads compared to the frugal competitors on here and I don't have a lot of money either.

Every week I stick something from the supermarket in the trolly and every pay day from September I order a few amazon bits and bobs until Christmas. My dc wake up with around 25/35 presents under the tree plus stockings. This year they won't have as much but they'll still have more wow factor Xmas morning then those that have parents that sprout that rubbish poem on here about something to wear, read, need and want. I don't know who in real life only gives their dc a handful of presents and I'm the frugal one compared to others in my social and work circle as mine don't get ipads and ps4s!

jaykay34 Mon 14-Nov-16 15:11:35

I think that's a perfectly acceptable amount to spend, as long as you can afford it.

With a 12 year old, presents aren't cheap and it's hard to do Christmas for less than £200, even if you get bargains.

Don't feel bad - what you are spending is perfectly normal !

Afreshstartplease Mon 14-Nov-16 15:11:45

Between 200-300 for older three. Baby is only 9 weeks at Christmas and I've spent about 100 on him may add some clothes but that's it.

Letustryagain Mon 14-Nov-16 15:17:32

I think that it totally depends on your circumstances. The other thing to remember is that a child can have as great a Xmas if you spend £50 as they would if you spend £300. It really doesn't matter how much you spend as long as you can afford it. I think the downside comes if the children don't appreciate it... As long as your DS knows that you've worked and saved hard to get his presents and understands that, it's fine.

DD is only 7 and she knows that FC only brings her one thing and that we, as parents, work hard to buy her the other things she wants. Now she's a little bit older I don't think FC should get all the credit, they need to know that you don't get whatever you want just from asking! fgrin

lakenavy Mon 14-Nov-16 15:28:46

I spend about £100 on DS 16, but that's just what it happens to cost to get him the things he wants (he likes oldish computer games so they cost about £5-15 each). We get bigger things like consoles paid for via grants so there's just no need to spend any more. If we had to buy consoles etc then I'd be spending more like £400.

lalaloopyhead Mon 14-Nov-16 15:38:15

I don't know, on paper about £150 each on the 2 older ones but may end up being more. When they were younger budget was more £100 but as they get older things get more expensive, but smaller! I tend to buy useful things too to make things look more, like Pj's, toiletries, stationery etc.

I have spent much less on the younger one but it will look like he has a lot more.

If you can afford it £300 when you only have one is not ridiculous at all.

justdontevenfuckingstart Mon 14-Nov-16 15:42:49

I always do £100 on a main present and £50 stocking fillers. Now they are older (19 & 18) it is still £150 but they can have it as they wish. Last year DD2 text me as she was shopping with friends pre Christmas so I pinged it to her. Won't spend more than that. Has always worked for us. Spend what you can afford.

VioletRoar Mon 14-Nov-16 16:25:45

If you can afford it then it's not an issue, surely?
For my 11 yo we are spending £2-300, in years when we've had little money I've spent less than £30. It's all relative I think.

anyoldname76 Mon 14-Nov-16 16:29:22

i spend on average £200-£300 each, but i dont get into debt as i save up all year for it

IAmAPaleontologist Mon 14-Nov-16 16:32:13

Depends what I can afford. I've had years when I've spent a max of £10 on stockings buying second hand my little ponies and give the Dc a joint main present of the cheap ikea play tent but at the moment I can spend more. I have 3 of them to buy for though so main present still around the £50 mark.

winterisnigh Mon 14-Nov-16 16:38:53

I don't know who in real life only gives their dc a handful of presents

I do - very Poe faced misery she is too, very morally superior!

Now she's a little bit older I don't think FC should get all the credit, they need to know that you don't get whatever you want just from asking

we have always done all gifts from FC but a few from us - just in case he cant make it and always stuff we cant afford however dc never ask for uber expensive things at all, they never get every single thing they may ask for but I have never been massive write the list....its always been a few things from list and lots of surprises. So they know you don't get whatever you want from asking hmm

Older is now at the verge of total disbelief, then - from 9 she will have an entire life time of being grateful directly to us and we won't get that JOY of watching dc think FC has been - which is priceless sad

Meadows76 Mon 14-Nov-16 16:43:40

I spend bloody loads. I'm trying to work out wtf it has to do with your sister, or anyone else for that matter? You spend whatever you want.

Outofoptions Mon 14-Nov-16 16:44:12

This is the first year I've actually added up every little thing I've bought and the price and I'm shocked how quickly it's all added up! I think I've been deluding myself previous years!

Aderyn2016 Mon 14-Nov-16 16:47:59

As kids get older, the presents become much more expensive but come in tiny boxes - a ps4 game can cost £50 but is the size of a CD! It is very easy to spend £300 and not have a big pile of presents to show for it. DS wanted a personalised football shirt - that was £74 all on its own!

I think you can get away with spending less if you have a big family who are also going to buy things for your kids. If you don't then it is all on you as the parent.

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