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Christmas

To diplomatically ask DP to buy me less!

10 replies

ChristopherWalkenDead · 04/11/2016 12:31

I understand that this is a bit first world problems however it is bothering me so here goes -
My DP always goes absolutely crazy with buying presents for Christmas/Birthdays. Last year he bought me 50+ presents the year before closer to 70.
They're mostly cheap ish --tat and usually 1 or 2 nice/expensive presents. I've tried to tell him before that its too much but he's really not getting the hint.
I live in a small house with no storage and a lot of what he bought last year sat in a bag in my wardrobe until about June.
I know I sound ungrateful but it's really not that, I would much rather have a handful of nice presents that I actually want than loads that I don't want/need. He bought me 6 ornaments last year, I have nowhere to put these!
he makes a really big deal out of Christmas and always goes to town on presents but then moans about the fact that he's got so much wrapping to do!
How can I tell him tactfully to buy me less without coming across like an ungrateful cow!

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JustHereIGuess · 04/11/2016 12:35

I don't think you would sound ungrateful.

I'd say something along the lines of "This year could we please limit the presents?"

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alafolie29 · 04/11/2016 12:36

70 presents Shock either he's very rich or he's buying a load of tat.

Maybe you could employ some sort of rule (along the lines of 'something you want/need/to read...etc'). Put it forwards a bit of fun if you don't want to hurt his feelings.

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lurkingnonparent · 04/11/2016 12:45

Could you ask him for a day out instead? He obviously loves to spoil you - perhaps you can channel this generosity into a day out/ nice meal/ whatever that you can both enjoy? I think if you ask him in such a way that explains that you adore his generosity but this year what you'd really like is....

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ChristopherWalkenDead · 04/11/2016 12:50

Justhereiguess I've tried to say something along those lines in the past I'm just not sure he's getting it!
Alafolie - so much tat I could stock a charity shop singlehandedly after Xmas!!

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ChristopherWalkenDead · 04/11/2016 12:51

Lurking - I like that idea & he may go for it!

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EnidButton · 04/11/2016 14:14

Just tell him outright.

Don't get me loads of bits this year. I don't have anywhere to put things. We will get each other 5 (?) things but no small bits. Is that ok? Are you definitely listening? I'm not just saying this, I do mean it. I don't want lots of things this year.

If he ignores that then he's either a bit dense or being selfish.

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EnidButton · 04/11/2016 14:17

Sorry, I'm sure he's not dense and is lovely but 70 bits and bobs would get on my last nerve. Does he sit and watch you do a fake "ooh! How lovely!" for every one?

I'd rather have 1 thoughtful gift than that. Maybe you could say that actually, about how you'd prefer just 1 meaningful thing.

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ChristopherWalkenDead · 04/11/2016 14:31

Yup he watches me open EVERY gift and preempts every gift with a story about how "it might be a bit random but...." or "now I know i've bought you a few of these" (scarves, last year he bought 4, I only have 1 neck!)
The whole thing takes hours.
I would rather have one thoughtful gift too!
I don't have the money or inclination to do the same, he gets one nice present (last year a leather weekend bag) and 3-4 bits of tat!

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LizzieMacQueen · 04/11/2016 18:50

Buy yourself a stocking and ask him to only fill that. Use Climate change as the reason cause you don't want to contribute to landfill - I say that becuase we've been told that wrapping paper is not to be put in with the recycling.

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perditalost · 04/11/2016 19:15

Nightmare. Its like when people gift 40 or 50 gifts for a 40th or 50th birthday. Loads of tat that takes forever to open and ends up in the bin.

Adults don't need lots of gifts. Quality is always best over quantity. Just be honest and tell him.

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