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Can someone reassure me, please?

(26 Posts)
Equimum Sun 23-Oct-16 09:05:48

I know this sounds pathetic, but I've got my self in a bit of a tizz. DS1 has a birthday very close to Christmas, so what with having to buy two lots of presents, but Christmas presents for his brother and pay for a party, I tend to sort a lot of his bits early. Well, I was discussing Christmas with a friend a few days ago, and she asked what we had got for DS1. I rattled it off, thinking it was more than enough, but she immediately asked what else we were going to get him. When I said I didn't think we'd get him anything else, she seemed really surprised and said that her (same aged) son would probably feel a bit hard-done by if it was all he got. See down, I still think we have more than enough, but I am starting to doubt myself (something I often do). So, could anyone reassure me that this is plenty for a four year old:-

Wooden castle
Playmobil canon and treasure knight sets
Playmobil recycling truck
3 x Usbourne 'See Inside' books

He'll also get Christmas PJs and a stocking, which includes some small Brio bits he has asked for. Other people are also buying him a marble run, games, big Brio set, Megasketcher and he'll get a few other small things from God parents etc.

I know what people give really varies, and that there is no right or wrong, but we're not short-changing DS are we?


Chewingthecrud Sun 23-Oct-16 09:06:35

Good grief

Cakescakescakes Sun 23-Oct-16 09:07:45

More than enough

AtSea1979 Sun 23-Oct-16 09:09:12

Like you said, it varies. My DC would feel short changed but that's because I'm a fool over indulged when younger and regretting it now.

FaithAscending Sun 23-Oct-16 09:09:26

DD is 3. She will be getting a bike and a stocking. That's it! I went OTT the first couple of years but it was such a waste because family bought lots of gifts too. Some stuff has never really been played with!

Honestly, I think that's plenty. They're quality presents that he'll play with.

Sycamoretrees Sun 23-Oct-16 09:11:44

I think this is your friends issue and not yours to be honest. It was not only rude of her, but also shows an ugly attitude to gift giving. They sound like great Christmas presents and I'm sure your DS will be beyond excited to open them on Christmas day.

junebirthdaygirl Sun 23-Oct-16 09:14:16

That is absolutely plenty. All good toys he can play with. Just be confident in your own decisions. I think your friend commenting is a bit rude. Would you comment on her buying her dc far too much? Just enjoy your own Christmas.

DailyMailFuckRightOff Sun 23-Oct-16 09:14:38

It's plenty. More important that the gifts are things he'll enjoy as opposed to a living room full of crap he won't even look at twice.

Popsicle789 Sun 23-Oct-16 09:27:15

Is this for Christmas and his birthday? Or just Christmas?

SitsOnFence Sun 23-Oct-16 09:29:54

They are lovely presents! I think your friend is very rude (even if unintentionally)

NoCapes Sun 23-Oct-16 09:35:00

It's a bit of a non question, all families are different
I give more than that personally, but you say you're happy with that amount and it works for your family, so it really doesn't matter what your friend or any strangers off the internet think

ShowOfHands Sun 23-Oct-16 09:35:22

Tell your friend we buy our dc ONE present each. She'd have a funny turn.

This happens every year. People fret, list a pile of stuff and some people think it's ott and vile, some think you need to buy 75 more little bits to pad out the third sack. Ultimately, it's your dc and your Christmas. Your friend is rude.

unicornsarenotjustforchristmas Sun 23-Oct-16 09:36:00

My 4yr old ds is getting
Imaginext Gotham city
Imaginext hero set
Imaginext villain set
Transformer Optimus prime

Then pjs, clothes and stocking. I think what you have bought is more then enough. Kids don't need loads and loads. They can only play with one toy at a time

NoCapes Sun 23-Oct-16 09:38:04

they can only play with one toy at a time

That's not strictly true though

mmgirish Sun 23-Oct-16 09:46:37

My 4 year old is getting a marble run set and a lego juniors set. He will get small things in his stocking too. I don't want to buy him any more because my family will get him toys too and too much will be overwhelming.

Equimum Sun 23-Oct-16 10:48:57

Thanks everyone. I don't think my friend actually meant to be rude. I think she was just genuinely surprised. She is someone who loves to buy her children lots, which is obviously her choice, whereas we tend to select a few things which we are fairly confident will be played with. I do appreciate that this is a bit of a non-question, as someone has suggested. I think I just needed a bit of perspective. I am now much happier, and yes, this is totally in keeping with what we, as a family give. His younger brother has the same number of presents (although DS2s presents cost a fair bit less), but strangely, I feel comfortable with that, as he 'inherits' a lot (& I haven't told anyone what he's getting, so no opinions of it!).

Popsicle this is just Christmas. We only buy one or two toys and some books for birthdays, which has also been commented on in previous years, although I rationalise this as he also has a party. This year, he's getting magformers.

PoldarksBreeches Sun 23-Oct-16 10:54:13

Your son will not feel hard done by! Firstly he's only 4 so won't have any peer pressure type crap. Secondly if that's what he's used to then why would he? Thirdly the idea that kids need £100s of stuff at Christmas is completely subjective.
I tend to buy too much at Christmas for my ds I think as the stocking ends up being really expensive (goalie gloves, a colour change mug and 3 books he wants alone come to £43!!) but he doesn't get one 'main' present at Christmas unlike birthdays. This year under the tree he's getting a lego set and a fake gopro from me. He's 8 btw. Presents have got more expensive as he's got older but that doesn't mean I spend £100s.

ChristmasZombie Sun 23-Oct-16 11:45:31

I think it sounds fine. My DD has a near Christmas birthday, too. She's turning 4 this year.
For birthday she's having:
Disney Princess toddler doll
Paw Patrol DVD and book set
Some new clothes
Some sort of chocolate!
Maximum spend is £50.

For Christmas she's having:
Disney Princess duvet cover set
Anna and Elsa Barbie-type dolls
A Lalaloopsy play-doh hair doll thing (maybe)

She'll have gifts off her aunts and uncles, grandparents, God mother etc. I think that's plenty. We're not particularly well-off, but more importantly we have a very small house with very little storage. So we physically can't have loads of presents!

BaggyCheeks Sun 23-Oct-16 12:00:36

Your son won't feel hard done by at all 🙂
If it makes you feel better, my almost 4 year old is getting:
- A playmobil fire engine
- A Go jetters Vroomster
- A wooden thomas train to add to his train set
- a DVD
- a couple of books
- a puzzle/board game of some sort
- a stocking with sweets, daft wee stuff under £10 in total.

He'll get plenty from grandparents and other relatives, and we live in a small flat so don't have loads of room for random tat that we could buy just to pad it out.

HemanOrSheRa Sun 23-Oct-16 12:05:17

It sounds fine to me. What you get for your children is nothing to do with your friend, but still, maybe she is missing the point that your DS's birthday is close to Christmas so he will be having double celebrations, a party and an all round amazing time!

Meadows76 Sun 23-Oct-16 12:11:51

Everybody does Christmas differently. Some buy loads, some buy a few presents. I always go overboard.

wonderingsoul Sun 23-Oct-16 13:08:33

No thats a lovely selection. Some years i go over board with presents. 20 plus each.. then like last year they got 4 plus a stocking and theve never once complained or felt short changed. This year theve got 8 cheap but present they will love.

Lomg as its something thwy will enjoy i dont think it matters.

Popsicle789 Sun 23-Oct-16 14:17:29

OP, thanks for the reply. I think your presents are just the perfect amount. 💐

I think we all do birthdays and Christmas differently as parents.

A very good friend has always tutted at the amount of presents I buy for my DC and the amount of birthday gatherings I host. I know it's not personal, especially as she complains about other people who do it too. 😉

FrazzleM Sun 23-Oct-16 14:27:46

Sounds like a lovely selection of gifts. It's plenty!

I give my kids less and less each year as so much of the things I've bought in the past never get played with and it was a waste of money.

VinoTime Sun 23-Oct-16 14:32:19

I always tend to go overboard at Christmas, but that's because I have one child and her dad and his family take nothing to do with her. I've always kind of overcompensated for their lack of interest or thought. She's not generally spoiled - she gets one big gift for her birthday and during the year I only buy things as and when she needs them. But I do indulge her at Christmas because it's magical and I'm one of those Christmas crazies grin

Your presents sound absolutely fine and I'm sure your DS will love everything. Remember that everyone does Christmas very differently, OP.

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