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How to tell DS the truth about FC!

(20 Posts)
Mumtogremlins Sat 01-Oct-16 22:10:11

Oldest DS is 12 and I think he still believes in Santa. He's quite naive and as he's the oldest, hasn't had a sibling ruin it for him. But I don't want his friends telling him or teasing him if he still believes.

Would you tell him and how? Or leave him to go as long as possible and risk someone else telling him. I feel sad that Santa won't exist for him soon sad

QuiteLikely5 Sat 01-Oct-16 22:12:41

I'd be very, very surprised if your son doesn't know FC isn't real!

I think he's having you on

Tequilamockinbird Sat 01-Oct-16 22:13:40

I would be very surprised if he did actually believe, and wasn't just pretending to believe. 12 is quite old to still actually believe IMO.

notbothered12 Sat 01-Oct-16 22:15:08

I personally don't feel you need to sit a DC down and 'explain' about Santa like it is the facts of life!
My eldest is 12.5 and we have never told him outright that FC isn't real. He still believes in that way where he knows really it isn't true but still wants to believe it is. I remember being like this as a child. Kids at school have talked about it for some time but I think each child decides for them selves how to deal with the realisation.
As he is the eldest he 'plays along' for the sake of the younger ones. But he still likes the magic of it too.
Sorry that isn't a very well written answer but hopefully you get the drift!

Chillywhippet Sat 01-Oct-16 22:16:40

Sometimes I think kids go along with things just in case. Others seem to see through it early.

When mine asked, I realise your DS isn't asking, I said

Some people believe Father Christmas is real but others think it's a lovely story to make Christmas feel more magical

Mumtogremlins Sat 01-Oct-16 22:19:41

He is very naive, nerdy and can't lie to save his life. He wouldn't be able to pretend easily and when we mention it, he just talks about it normally. We met the real FC in Lapland last year and didn't question anything. But on the off chance he doesn't believe, I'd like to be able to talk to him normally about what he wants for Xmas!

Mumtogremlins Sat 01-Oct-16 22:23:08

I think he may kind of think it's silly but wants to believe it's true so is trying not to question it. Hard to judge

inchoccyheaven Sun 02-Oct-16 14:08:42

I didn't tell my eldest and ds2 asked after a disaster with tooth fairy at 12 and was very upset that I had lied all his life and still says it now at 14 sad i never expected him to react like that. I would never have sat him down to tell him before he asked though.

MoonfaceAndSilky Mon 03-Oct-16 12:52:44

I think lots of hints and winks rather than telling him outright.

Polkadot1974 Mon 03-Oct-16 13:27:57

Really about being upset? That's a shame. I was never told about either and found it nicer that way as it was the unacknowledged truth but Christmas presents still magically appeared in our house- nothing was ever there until Christmas morning....and I'm sticking to that despite MIL's best efforts to remove all magic for my boys angry

A1Sharon Mon 03-Oct-16 19:54:11

My eldest has Aspergers and I'd always dreaded telling him as he gets very teary/sentimental about stuff.
Last Christmas he was 11, and I can't remember, we were talking about Christmas and I just said "Who brings the presents?" Wink wink. And he went "Oh yeah, I know it's you". He said he just sort of realised it was us, over time.
He wasn't the only one in his year who 'found out' last year and I know someone who told their eldest before they started secondary school as they still believed and she thought it would be social suicide.
He may surprise you OP.

cheapandcheerful Mon 03-Oct-16 21:06:43

I was also going to suggest a bit of winking and nudging. Start getting him to play the game for the sake of the younger siblings and he will hopefully enjoy being the one in the know, on the other side of the secret as it were.

Mumtogremlins Mon 03-Oct-16 23:08:20

I think he will enjoy having a little secret from the others and playing along with it. Just need to get to that point. Will try a few little hints and winks to see if he says anything!

Blueisthemagicnumber Tue 04-Oct-16 10:27:58

We are going to have the tooth fairy conversation with my ds10 later today, after a meltdown about the 'tooth fairy' forgetting to leave anything. I will tell him about FC before secondary school next year.

Tiggy78 Tue 04-Oct-16 10:38:18

Your son sounds exactly like mine mumtogremlins. I told him over the summer and it was a complete shock to him. I had thought he suspected something - he's very factual and into science etc. I think i might have been the more shocked of the two of us. I was expecting a "yeah I know" kind of chat instead of the "WHAT are you telling me" reaction I got. He was fine about it in the end though.

tictactoad Tue 04-Oct-16 10:49:34

He's 12? Year 7? Get him told before his friends find out he still believes. They won't be gentle.

Tiggles Wed 05-Oct-16 13:25:41

My DS1 (has Aspergers so naïve) always used to do a little laugh when talking about Father Christmas so I assumed he knew. The last year he was in primary, assuming he knew, a few days before Christmas I asked if he'd like to help pack his brothers stockings. Cue tears all afternoon, he had no idea, but just laughed about FC as that is what his friends did. I suggest you don't do it that way grin.

Mumtogremlins Thu 06-Oct-16 10:40:53

Tiggles and Tiggy - bless them. My DS is very into his science, quite nerdy. He did question it a few years ago as to how FC manages to deliver everything and gets into houses. Arthur Christmas seemed to answer all his questions from a scientific point of view and he hasn't mentioned it since! I think the time has come though and he can't get to 13 and still believe!

TellMeStraight Fri 07-Oct-16 09:50:51

What do you mean FC isn't real?!! shock

Seriously, my mum never told me FC wasn't real. I was married before she stopped signing off my presents from 'Santa'.

I stopped believing when I was 7 but I knew not to spoil it for the little ones so never said anything.

I think my mum probably sussed once I started saying 'thank you' to her and DF for my FC presents.

Can't you leave him a bit longer??

SymphonyofShadows Fri 07-Oct-16 10:46:47

I had a thread about DS1 last year. He was 17 at the time, has ASD and was adamant that he still believed. In the end we got a friend with beautiful handwriting to write a letter on special sparkly notepaper from Father Christmas explaining that it would be the last year as DS would shortly be an adult. We never have actually told him that it's not real, I think it would break his heart.

DS2 (10) nominally still believes and will put out a stocking so I now have the angst of what to do about DS1 as he will still expect the chocolate reindeer etc.

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