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Gift for 'grown up kids'

(12 Posts)
merryxmas9 Mon 20-Jun-16 09:01:20

Long story short, I still see my DD 18 and my little girl, On her Birthday she has got money or an experience or chosen a gift or had a party etc for a while, since she was 12 really, However where does everyone stand on Xmas pressies for their Uni student DD's as It has come to my attention most people I know A- Cut them of completely apart from a token gift, or B- Give them a cheque for like 1,000 or buy them a car or something.

We don't have much money and I am shocked by the financial support lots of people are giving their DD's in Uni as it is! I can't afford a car, or endless money for DD when she is a student, She will have her maintenance loan and she has a job earning £60-£80 per week depending on hours, I will also be charging her a small rent (nothing silly just contributing to TV licence and groceries while I do electric, gas, rent etc) I will still buy her treats when shopping like now, but can't afford to give her an 'allowance' or pay her phone contract when all child tax credit obviously stops as she in the government eyes is 'an adult'

I feel really guilty that I can't let DD live in rent free until she finishes Uni and that I can't afford a car or phone, I really do sad

Anyway, enough with the pity, The thread is to ask if you buy your 18-22 year olds christmas presents/money and how much you spend, ie the same as always, less, more etc smile What did you get them last year, what are you getting them this yeat?

Thanks Mumsnetters! smile

bec3105 Mon 20-Jun-16 09:09:03

There's no way i would stop buying presents for my children just cos they'd turned 18.
I'd spend the same of them as I do now.
If they're studying then I would be charging them rent or anything towards the tv licence either. It's a fixed fee whether there's one person or ten people living at home.

BikeRunSki Mon 20-Jun-16 09:18:16

My mum has always given me (and my siblings) a present at Christmas. I'm 45! The value of the present depends on how well off she is at the time - this varies hugely from not having 2 pennies to rub together, to several foreign holidays a year!

I very much appreciate presents, however small, as mist of our income goes on mortgage and childcare (and children's shoes!).

I also give my mum, PIL and siblings presents. We made a rule a few years ago that presents between grown ups are limited to £10, but DM often breaks it!

TheWoollybacksWife Mon 20-Jun-16 12:24:04

OP you don't say if your DD is an only child or if she has siblings. My eldest is at the top of your age bracket and will be home from uni at Christmas. She will treated exactly the same as her younger sister and brother. They each get a stocking and some other wrapped gifts. We usually give "big" gifts like phones, laptops or bikes (definitely not cars grin) as birthday presents as that is their own special day - if they were given at Christmas they would lose their wow factor amongst everything else.

Last year her gifts were things like a handbag, a small piece of jewellery, make up and a cardigan that she coveted but couldn't afford on her student income.

merryxmas9 Mon 20-Jun-16 17:19:20

Only child

I think I will spend the same on Xmas so around £200

AgeingArtemis Tue 28-Jun-16 19:30:42

I'm early twenties and still come home for Christmas.

I reckon I have roughly the same budget as my younger siblings. Apart from presents getting gradually more "adult" in type (of course) I haven't noticed any major changes. I expect things will change when I have a partner and a job. I get a few gifts from my parents, a token gift from siblings and grandparents. My closest aunt will give me something small like chocs, and the others just give gifts to children (ie still at school)

I'm unlikely to get something like a laptop or bike- they are the kind of thing I would save up for and buy myself. I get stuff like a nice (60 quid) bag, a warmer sleeping bag as I always moan about being cold grin,perfume, digital cooking scales....random stuff like that. Mostly several "mid range" gifts whereas my younger siblings are more likely to get a "main present" and a bunch of cheap stuff to bulk out the pile.

If finances are tight then I think younger children should be prioritized, but it's always nice to get something from people you love.

HowToProceed Thu 30-Jun-16 10:16:49

my parents did change their budget for each of us once we had grown up and left home. when we were children it was £100-150 each, now its about £75 each. but there are also 4 grandchildren who each get £50 and one great grandchild (step) who will get about £25. my eldest is 17 this year, and is starting to get more useful presents, for example, i will buy him bog standard trainers in the year, but if he wants some for christmas they will be nicer ones, he will get clothes, starbucks gift card, maybe a dvd or computer game, nice pens for college, a new bag etc. but i still buy fun things for the younger ones who are 15, 11 and 10. he will get some fun things in his santa sack, like a gaming magazine, fun sweets, novelty socks etc. but leaning towards more useful unless there is something he wants and asks for (he isnt very good at telling me what he wants)

user1467327097 Fri 01-Jul-16 00:04:41

I have an issue that needs to be cleared up, me and my mum aren't what you call the best mother son relationship we argue a lot which is mainly due to the fact iam a very argumentative teenage boy, I know I live a very lucky life, my stepfather has treated me like his own which I will always be grateful for, but it's the fact that one Christmas I asked for an Xbox one ( I had the choice of lots of little presents or one big one) I chose the big one and did not ask for anything else. Thanks to my parents generosity they got me one I was so happy, I was so grateful I couldn't believe they had got it me. But they had also gotten me other presents which I was very grateful for but they were small ones. A few months later me and mum are arguing about me spending too much time on the Xbox ( which I admit i do ) but she then says you are so ungrateful we ( mum and dad) spent nearly a grand on you at Christmas, I honestly couldn't believe her I did will be honest I accused her of lying because I couldn't believe that they had spent 800 pounds on me, but not to sound spoilt but all I wanted was an Xbox I didn't want so much to be spent on me as I feel that's wrong.
So now my mum has made me feel really guilty and it wasn't even my fault she acts like I asked for too much granted an Xbox is a lot but it's not 800 quid if I had known I honestly feel that I would of not accepted the presents and told them to take them back. I would never want that much spent on me it's wrong but she makes me feel like it's my fault what do I do

AndNowItsSeven Fri 01-Jul-16 00:15:25

Stop trolling on mumsnet that would be a start.

user1467327097 Fri 01-Jul-16 00:19:39

I'm sorry how am I trolling I want to know if I am in the wrong

user1467327097 Fri 01-Jul-16 00:20:03

I thought go to people who will be able to see from my mothers perspective

user1467327097 Fri 01-Jul-16 00:23:11

I didn't realise it would frowned upon to ask for advice about family issues on a very family oriented site

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