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Dad has really upset me at christmas

(24 Posts)
Neverletmego27 Fri 25-Dec-15 11:33:41

I am a singl, one dd, aged 8. I have had mental health problems this year. I was recently in a psychatric unit after trying to end my own life, and friends have been looking after dd. I also have physcial health problems-a broken foot and at the minute, an infection (kidney/water) that makes me vomit most of my food.

I got up today after hardly any sleep, took my meds and got all ready (nice hair, clothes etc) to go and see dd at my friends. She is coming to collect me in a bit.

My Dad phoned me to say merry christmas and reminded me that I'm "all on my own" and then told me "it was christmas day...the one day when I shouldn't piss anyone off". I didn't even say anything. I am sat here in tears thinking I'm not welcome at my friends etc and that I've messed everything up and pissed everyone off. I feel like a worthless waste of space.

I only wanted to go and see dd and give her some (little) gifts.

Arfarfanarf Fri 25-Dec-15 11:37:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GingerIvy Fri 25-Dec-15 11:39:04

Ignore your dad. Easier said than done, I know, but please don't take it to heart. His comment was unnecessary and rude. Your dd will be happy to see you, and that's really all you need to focus on.

Have a lovely time with your dd and your friends today. Happy Christmas! fsmile

SpellBookandCandle Fri 25-Dec-15 11:40:05

Honey, you dd will be looking forward to seeing you. You sound like you went to lots of effort to look fab even though you are not feeling well. Your dad might have concerns for you but has rude/awkward way of expressing himself, perhaps?? Please, please do not allow this to spoil your planned time with your child! Merry Christmas to you both..

FinallyHere Fri 25-Dec-15 11:40:20

Just chiming in to remind you that, while it says a lot about your Dad, what he said says nothing at all about you. Enjoy yourself and put his horridness behind you. Hope it goes well for you.

Chottie Fri 25-Dec-15 11:44:30

Please, please ignore your father. Go and see your DD and have a lovely Christmas together. Don't let your father spoil her Christmas or yours.

Neverletmego27 Fri 25-Dec-15 11:47:12

Thank you everyone - merry xmas!

MTWTFSS Fri 25-Dec-15 11:54:36

Your dad obviously has no idea about mental health. Ignore him!

Neverletmego27 Fri 25-Dec-15 12:10:29

I am seriously in tears thinking I'm not welcome at my friends now. Maybe I should just cancel.

Arfarfanarf Fri 25-Dec-15 12:14:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JE1234 Fri 25-Dec-15 12:16:38

Please don't cancel. He made a comment that says so much more about him than you. Your DD will be over the moon to see you and it will make you feel better. Don't let him ruin your day. Today is just another day and you've come so far.

Neverletmego27 Fri 25-Dec-15 12:18:03

Yeah and now he says I've "lost the plot". I think t might be time for no contact soon. My friend is coming in half hour.

ljny Fri 25-Dec-15 12:22:11

You are welcome at your friend's. She wants to see you, DD wants to see you.

Didn't you say friend is coming to collect you? And she's been looking after DD. Sounds like she likes you and wants to see you.

Well done getting ready, nice clothes and the rest. Go and have a great time!

Your dad is a prick. Can you block his calls?

Adarajames Fri 25-Dec-15 12:23:06

All it says is he's a spiteful nasty bitter little man, who has nothing to offer to anyone. It says nothing about you; your friends obviously love you, so take what they think to be the important thing for you, and have a lovely day with their, and your daughters, company. Merry Christmas to you x

Neverletmego27 Fri 25-Dec-15 12:26:42

Yeah my friend had dd whilst I've been in hospital (no dcs of their own). I was in after several suicide attempts (long history of illness, dd's dad dying etc for the past 2 years). I don't drive so my friend is coming to collect me. Friend is looking after dd until the end of the holidays, I think; by which time I'll hopefully be able to take her back, with some support.

cecinestpasunepipe Fri 25-Dec-15 12:31:20

Try to concentrate on the positive aspects of your day - you are going to see your daughter, you have very caring friends. They obviously don't think you are worthless. It sounds as if your Dad has issues of his own with mental illness, which may have nothing to do with you, but he is taking out on you.
Go and have a lovely day with your daughter. Wishing you a happy Christmas full of peace and strength.

B33rTricksPott3r Fri 25-Dec-15 12:39:17

Your friend is doing a lovely thing for you by looking after your dd while you recover. She wouldn't do that if it was a burden or you 'pissed her off'.
Your dad's comments mean nothing and are not supportive or worth your time being affected by them.
I hope you have an enjoyable and peaceful visit flowers

TendonQueen Fri 25-Dec-15 12:53:22

Spend time with the people who love you, your dd and friend, and ignore the person who obviously can't get past their own feelings and issues. Please don't be put off seeing your dd - I would imagine it will mean a lot to her to see you today. Your dad knows nothing.

Partybugs Fri 25-Dec-15 13:49:33

What a grinch! Please don't focus on one persons opinion. All that matters is that you and your Dd are well and happy. Everyone else can get in line.
Your friend sounds great honey. Just because your Dad is saying these things doesn't mean that your friend is too.
Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and go and see your darling daughter and your friend. I hope you enjoy your afternoon x

Chelazla Tue 29-Dec-15 00:47:47

Did you go? Have you had a lovely Christmas. Really hope so x x x

Partybugs Tue 29-Dec-15 18:00:39

Hope you had a lovely afternoon in the end x

Neverletmego27 Tue 29-Dec-15 18:42:13

I went in the end , but have ended up in a mental health respite unit.

Cressandra Tue 29-Dec-15 19:52:08

OP you have ever so much on your plate. I'm sure you were more than welcome at friend's. Your dad is wrong and poisonous. Hope you get your DD home soon.

Anyone can be hit by mental illness. Anyone. And any decent parent would not knock his own daughter when she's down. He should be thoroughly ashamed of himself.

TendonQueen Tue 29-Dec-15 20:25:29

Hope you're on the mend soon OP. Cressanda is right and your dad should be ashamed of how he's treated you. Take your time and stay out of contact with him while you work on getting better. Best of luck.

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